By:
In: Lion's Journal, Spanking

It’s been a while since I’ve been spanked. That’s a good thing, I think. Against the odds, I’ve managed to avoid spilling food on my shirt. I pay close attention to when Mrs. Lion starts eating and wait until she starts or tells me I can. I’m proud of that.

I have interrupted her a few times. She’s let me know I was doing wrong and I shut up. She chose not to punish me. I’m sure it has a lot to do with the fact that I have been under the weather. I appreciate that thoughtfulness. I also know the party will be over now that I am feeling better.

This brings up some feelings of dread. I don’t like being punished. But as my last punishment gets smaller and smaller in my rear view mirror, my fear of retribution also diminishes. This is natural and of no real importance as long as I continue following my rules and obeying Mrs. Lion. However, it isn’t very exciting.

Of course, in a pure FLR with discipline excitement isn’t part of the equation. The relationship is all about obedience. In our case there is also a BDSM component in addition to our FLR with discipline. Being spanked, at least the idea of being spanked, arouses me. Even after years of punishments, I still consider spanking erotic until I get one. I’m turned on at the prospect. Once the paddle starts swinging, the erotic thoughts disappear. It just hurts. Nevertheless, I do fantasize about being spanked.

So, when I proposed our FLR with discipline, my request included regular maintenance spankings. The theory was that if the memory of a beating was never very far in the past, I would be more inclined to be obedient. In the cold light of analysis, the opposite is true. If the real objective is obedience, then any punishment given for no reason confuses its purpose.

In a purely disciplinary relationship, punishment is reserved for correction, not satisfaction of a fantasy.  Maintenance spankings make no sense in a disciplinary relationship. They have a negative effect. Now, that doesn’t mean frequent spankings won’t happen if desired. It’s easy for a top to find reasons to punish. I do something pretty much every day that would give Mrs. Lion a reason to punish me.

She decides when I reach the level of needing one. I suppose that if I want to be spanked, I could break a rule on purpose. If I try that and Mrs. Lion realizes what I have done, I know the punishment will be horrible. It won’t be something I want to fantasize about. Yes, spanking is a very popular BDSM activity. It is also the primary punishment tool in a FLR with discipline. For us, at least, it has to be one or the other. That means spanking is only used to punish me. It’s never something for “maintenance” or fun. [Mrs. Lion – I think Lion can still have play spankings. There is a difference between the two. If nothing else, I stop now and then during a play spanking to fondle his buns.]

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments
clothespins on lion's balls.
Pinching my nipples that one time has serious and lasting consequences. Yes, those are his balls. (Click to enlarge)

I believe Lion is over his cold or reaction to the flu shot. He’s still got a bit of a cough and at times he’s still stuffy but he’s up and around. We went to the grocery store yesterday and that wiped him out. Obviously he still needs to rest.

Last night we didn’t play. We held hands a bit and I’m sure Lion will note we didn’t snuggle. What’s up with that? It did coincide with the day after an orgasm for him. He was tired. I was tired. I just needed some down time. It’s true I play on my iPad and vegetate a lot but I don’t turn my brain off. My brain is still flying, thinking about all the things that need to be done or what’s going on at work or what someone said. Maybe I need to learn to meditate.

I won’t say Lion thinks about sex all the time, but I know he sees weekends as free time that could be spent on sex and play, but there are these damn chores that need to be done and he isn’t able to help with most of them yet and that means they take longer and then I’m tired and I don’t want to play. Vicious cycle. I know he feels bad that he can’t help more. He’s just not able to lift or reach. He’s getting there though. Every PT session gains him a little more movement. I get the “look what I can do” when he’s able to move further. He has come a long way since the surgery and we aren’t even quite at the six month mark yet.

I’ll make sure I save some energy for Lion snuggles later. I may even put clothespins on my balls. And maybe a few on his boobies. I’m not sure he’ll ever be paid back for pinching my nipples those few times. Lion actions do have serious consequences.

By:
In: Female led relationship with discipline, Lion's Journal

Like most guys interested in enforced chastity, FLR, and domestic discipline, I’ve greedily consumed any reading material I can find that claims to offer advice on how to do it. A good many appear to be written by dominant women. Some have a ring of authenticity that’s hard to dispute. Now that Mrs. Lion and I have been practicing this stuff for a few years, I decided to reread the material I considered the best. My opinion has changed.

Take, for example, A Married Woman’s Guide. This site has the URL “Toy4her”. Hmm. Anyway, it contains a series of long essays claiming to be written by a dominant woman named Vivian. Of course, almost all readers are men.

Anyway, I liked what I read. It conformed to my fantasies about being in a domestic discipline relationship. I even asked Mrs. Lion to read some. She did and wasn’t impressed. Recently, a comment from Anon recommended this guide. I went back and reread it. Yup, it’s as hot as ever. But it bears no resemblance to my FLR with discipline relationship.

There’s a good reason for this. If you read this stuff from the woman’s perspective, it demands behavior that few, if any wives would display. But, it’s exactly what I wanted. At least, it’s what I thought I wanted. For a while, Mrs. Lion tried spanking me the way the guide said she should. It was a miserable failure. Still, I was turned on by the explanations of my motivation and acceptance of female authority in that guide.

Then, I discovered and read Strict Julie Spanks, a blog that is truly female-written and makes no pretense of educating other women. Her spanking technique was nothing like the stuff in the Married Women’s Guide or, for that matter, The Disciplinary Wives Club site. I told Mrs. Lion about Julie’s spanking technique and about other things she does to her husband. Mrs. Lion tried them and they work!

I now realize that it is highly unlikely that a real, dominant woman wrote the guide. It’s pure male fantasy. I’m sure, the writer is male. He is a very good writer and plausibly executes the male submissive fantasy in a style that convinced me it was real. How many potentially successful FLR’s have been doomed by “guides” like this?

A real-life power exchange like ours doesn’t begin the way the fantasies suggest. It started with my request we try it. Mrs. Lion doesn’t think I need discipline to be a good husband. She loves me just as I am. She pursues our FLR because she knows I want it. I am sure that is true for everyone else doing this as well.

Think about it. A man who doesn’t want to “change” isn’t going to take orders from his wife or let her spank him. If she threatens to leave, he will tell her to fuck herself and go on with his life. What we do is consensual. I want Mrs. Lion to take charge and punish me as needed. If I stop wanting it, she will stop. FLR is something it takes two to do. Both have to be willing.

Doesn’t that make sense? While the so-called guides claim we are weak and driven by sex, we aren’t. Yes, we want sex and will do a lot to get it. But we are adults who have other priorities. We only let our wives make rules and punish us because we want them to. It’s that simple.

Over the years, a lot of people, male and female, have made money or stoked their egos by feeding us our fantasies cloaked as fact. The reality is much simpler and easier to execute. Go ahead, read the guides. Let them turn you on. Just don’t make the mistake that your relationship will be much like the instructions you read.