Month: October 2017 (Page 2)

Lion is having issues with our power exchange again. He thinks he’s controlling things more than I am. Several weeks ago he asked how I determine when he gets an orgasm. I told him, jokingly, that he can have one whenever he wants. I thought I addressed that in an earlier post but this morning’s post shows I didn’t address it well enough. So when does Lion get an orgasm?

Indirectly it is up to him. I can’t give him one if he doesn’t respond to my attempts to get him hard and keep him there. He can tell me he’s horny but, more often than not, that actually keeps him from having an orgasm. If your child keeps telling you how much they want a particular toy, you aren’t very motivated to go get him that toy. On the other hand, if he produces pre-cum and I want more of a taste, he just might get that orgasm. Sometimes he gets one when he bucks against my hand or mouth. Sometimes he doesn’t. I like when he seems desperate to have an orgasm but if I edge him enough times, he can seem desperate before I’m ready to give him one. I try to keep the calendar in mind. I’m not as attuned to it as Lion is, but I try to figure out how long his wait has been. Am I going for a certain length of time? Not necessarily. It’s possible that he can meet all my (changing) criteria after four days. Other times it may not happen for sixteen days.

There’s really no rhyme or reason to when he gets an orgasm. I think Lion likes the unknown in that respect. Each time can be the time. Of course, an orgasm can always just happen if I go too far and I don’t want to give him a ruined orgasm. I can start out the festivities thinking he’ll be waiting a few more days and decide to give him one. It’s a nice surprise for both of us.

Now on to the other issue in Lion’s post. Are we just in a series of BDSM scenes or is this a real power exchange or FLR? For the past several weeks we’ve both been feeling under the weather. We’ve gone on and on about it and I’m sure you just want us to shut up. Me too. I’m tired of being tired. When I’m tired I don’t want to make decisions for myself, much less anyone else. I find myself standing in the kitchen in the morning not caring if we eat the same cereal all week. I don’t even care if we eat that same cereal for dinner.

If Lion isn’t feeling well I’m certainly not going to tell him I’m going to peg him whether he wants me to or not. There were days we didn’t snuggle because he couldn’t stand to be touched. Sometimes things just have to be put on hold until health allows things to return to normal. The good news is that we seem to be getting better. I’m less achy. Lion is a little less itchy. These things take time.

Am I giving up on power exchange? No. Do I think we need to bring the cage back in order to have a power exchange? No. We need a run of good health to get back.

Naughty lion coupon sets my punishment.
This was an early start on asserting Mrs. Lion’s role. We barely used these coupons,

I didn’t write a post yesterday. I was trying to understand my feelings. A week or so ago when I asked Mrs. Lion how she decided when I get to ejaculate, she responded, “When you want to.”

I’m not sure that is the full truth. But it is a lot of it. She has no real investment in when or if I come. It’s true she likes giving me orgasms. She also likes making me happy. To do that she knows I want her to be in control. It’s an interesting dilemma for her. If she wants me to come when she thinks I really want it, and I want to come when she decides I should, then what does she do?

She says she is neutral on the subject of my ejaculations; at least the scheduling of them. This disturbs me. I’ve been aware that, like most women, she has taken her role because she knows it’s important to me. I love that she does such a good job. I’ve long hoped that she would get pleasure from her role. She has said that she does like part of it. She doesn’t like punishing me, but recognizes it is necessary. I think she likes pegging me. I also think that edging me is a challenge she likes too.

I accept that. We are both able to continue our roles as we have before. The discussions here and at home about what that means doesn’t affect what we do. It does present me with questions. If I control what we do, how do I withdraw to give Mrs. Lion a better opportunity to truly make the decisions? Because I like being wild, is this why I’m not longer caged? Is my theory that wearing a chastity device is purely a male fetish true in our case? If I say I want to wear it again, will my decision to take it off be enough to remove it again.

It’s really nice not to be locked up. I’m more comfortable and I like being able to get hard. In the past, we both wrote that the cage was the glue in our power exchange. Since being wild, nothing has changed in terms of my chastity and our physical closeness. There has only been one change: We both talk about the fact that I control how things go. We never talked that frankly while I was locked.

Has Pandora’s box been opened? Is it too late for the chastity device to act as an effective tool to assert Mrs. Lion’s control? Even if it affects me that way, will it mean anything significant to her? I’m not sure it will. It may be a way for her to make me happy, but not a real expression of her feeling that she is in control.

What, if anything, can reinforce the reality of our power exchange? We both like that we are partners. I like when Mrs. Lion firmly maintains sexual control. She likes parts of it and is comfortable with the rest of her role. But something has changed. She’s repeatedly mentioned that somehow I control what happens. I’ve recognized that I initiated and perhaps control our power exchange. None of this is a surprise. But the mystery, at least to me, has faded.

Maybe that’s OK. We could refer to our power exchange as extended BDSM scenes. Others think of all this that way. This is a subject that we have to discuss. We need to revive things. Other than edging and snuggling, most of the rest is in the background. It’s true my injury, surgery, and recovery have had to be first for both of us. I’m well along in my recovery. We need to figure out how to move on.

I’ve been perfecting my edging skills. I’m not sure but I think Lion is positive I’m going to go all the way this time. No, this time. It must be this time. Of course each time I do it I’m positive I’m going to go too far and I’ll have to salvage the orgasm. I know nothing bad will happen if I go too far. Lion won’t divorce me. The sun will come up in the morning. But it makes me nervous. I have a plan for how the session should go and I don’t want to make a mistake.

When I’ve gotten him to the edge a few times I usually back off a bit. I’ll start in like I’m going up to the edge but then I stop well short. And then I start back in again. Are we going to the edge this time? Maybe. I’m keeping both of us on our toes. And we all know I can change my mind at any time and go for the full orgasm.

The best part about making Lion into a quivering mass of Jell-O is that even if I go too far we can try it all over again in a day or two. It’s like a perpetual do-over. Well that technique didn’t work so well. I wonder if I tweak it just a bit. Maybe I could try it this way. Nope, I’ve got a better idea. An orgasm is like a reset button on a video game. Even if you make it to the end of a level, you can always do it better. The best part is that Lion doesn’t mind if I hit reset. He’s game for another go in a day or two.

I bet Lion never thought of himself as a video game. But I do sometimes call Mr. Weenie a joystick.

Yesterday I missed doing a post, in part, because I was achy, annoyed and anxious. Hence the name of the post. Today I’m the regular amount of achy, not annoyed and not particularly anxious. I even came up with ideas for dinner tonight and dinner for at least one night this weekend. Woohoo! It’s like I’m like a new person. When I get too achy, especially for days on end, I just want to curl up in a ball.

Luckily for Lion, our days of feeling yucky seemed to match up this time around. He was very horny last night and, even though I was very achy, I managed to torture him for a little while. I’d say I was within a fraction of a stroke away from going too far. A few times he gasped and his face crinkled up but he didn’t actually come. Not even a ruined orgasm. I consider myself very lucky. I really don’t like ruined orgasms. I’m sure Lion will tell you he hates them more than I do and he’d probably be right. But I’m a close second on that count.

I’m hoping (no promises) that we’ll be able to play in the dungeon this weekend. I haven’t had Lion’s butt in the sling in months. It offers the best opportunities for pegging. He’s splayed out with his butt toward me and I have unhindered access to his ass. I have unhindered access to everything. It’s not ideal for spanking, but I’ve done it before. He’s definitely at my mercy.

The sling may be a little too uncomfortable for Lion at this point. I can always just fasten his feet and leave his hands free. Or I could fasten his feet and tie his hands together at chest level. My concern is with Lion’s arms being fastened above his head. That position could pose problems for his healing shoulder. Oh, I know it’s technically healed enough, but even when he’s not restrained in bed and he just wants to hold his arm over his head, he needs to move it down because it gets sore. Not to worry, Lion. I’ve been paying attention. We’ll work something out. There are plenty of ways to secure a Lion, in a sling or not.