Mailbag: He Watches Porn While I Play With Him

It’s been a while since I’ve answered the mail. Here are a few of the more interesting letters:

Audrey writes

“Dear Lions,

Thank you so much for this journal! It is such a great find! I had a question about ruined orgasms. I love to ruin my bf but we always have porn on with him facing it and it behind me while I play with him. In your opinion, do you think it helps or hinders play? I find it distracting at times because he makes comments about the women so I don’t think he is focusing on me and what we are doing. Thank you again for your time and keep up the good work!”

I have to admit this is a first for me. I’m surprised that you would even consider allowing him to watch porn when you play with his cock. Mrs. Lion is the center of my life and when she is playing with me, there are no distractions. Turn the porn off! The only woman he should be talking about is you.

Steve writes:

“I am sure you get this question all the time so I apologize but I have had a great interest in chastity for a very long time. My wife and I tried it out but for some reason it was not what I thought it would be. I don’t know if that was due to the fact I had too high of expectations or that my wife didn’t really show the “dominant” mentality. (Not sure if that makes sense) Anyway I was hoping you had some insight on how to approach my wife again on giving chastity a real shot and how to get her to maybe take a higher interest.”

Please refer back to this post. Don’t expect her to want to lock you up. Believe it or not, most women don’t really care about whether your cock is caged or not. You wife might be willing to lock you up and release you when she wants sex or thinks you might like to be unlocked. If you are going to approach her, I suggest you start with just this and nothing else. Most of what you read about male chastity is pure fantasy, especially the articles purported to be written by women. They aren’t. Just keep it simple and easy for her. She might do it because it makes you happy. Later, she might agree to do other things as well. Take it slow and remember she does all this because she wants to please you.

Deanna writes:

“Good evening my partner and I have been working on finding our own flr…. I would love to make friends in my area or online … I have tried fetlife with no luck …. any places you know of for women to share there journey ? As well as any advice to ones just starting out ? Thank you for your time”

We are in the same boat. I suspect that there aren’t that many people in a FLR who want to advertise their preference. It hasn’t been that many years female dominants have been willing to let people know of their interests. There are organizations whose members practice male domination, but none I know about where the women are in charge.

Keep those cards and letters coming!

2 Comments

  1. Author

    For Steve, find a contract on line and show it to your wife. You’ve already tried his once, but perhaps it didn’t work because your wife didn’t understand it. My wife finally understood what I was looking for after reading a contract (very detailed). We actually modified it and have been using it for a couple of years now. Don’t expect your wife to instantly be the Domme in the contract, but it could be a starting point for conversation. Communication is always the key.
    For Deanna, try blogging on WordPress or something similar. Talk about your life trying an FLR and others will find you. Some will be men and some will be women. But all will have ideas and advice. You may very well find some friends this way—though it would take time.
    And for Audrey, I completely agree with Lion’s answer. If you watch porn together—well that’s one thing. However you aren’t doing that. He’s watching behind your back literally and while you can hear it he’s actually focussing on the porn and not you. My Queen wouldn’t allow that ever. If we watch porn, it’s for her pleasure and it’s her choice—but then I am in an FLR.
    Great post as usual Lion!

  2. Author

    The first thing that Mi Amor made clear was there would be NO porn. It was the porn that kept me amused with myself, jacking off whenever I could and not show her the adoration she deserves…. Audrey, there should be no distraction. The key holder is in charge of any and all that involves his sexual desires…… I have been uncaged for 2 months now due to an injury. I have not masturbated or even thought of masturbating. I am still considered a chaste male to her and she is in charge. …. The tease and denial is still the rule! I desire her like never before in our 17 years of marriage and she gets more dominant every day because of it.

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