Controlled Pleasure

I’ve been thinking a lot about what lies at the bottom of enforced male chastity and orgasm control. This also extends to female led relationships as well. I think the actual basis of all this is controlling male pleasure.

It’s hard to avoid the fact that the most significant source of male pleasure is sex. We like to get hard. We love sexual contact, and we adore ejaculating. This is by design. It’s nature’s way of assuring we keep the species going. Enforced chastity, etc. exploits this most basic male drive. I think it’s ironic that many women don’t realize how easily we can be controlled.

There’s an old saying about a woman leading a man around by his cock. I admit it. That’s my situation. My only ability to have sexual pleasure of any kind comes from Mrs. Lion. I can’t masturbate. If I try any form of self-gratification, I will be locked in my chastity device. It effectively prevents any arousal, even morning erections.

You, of course, know all this. Have you considered how profound this control is? I’ve written about discipline, rules, and the general control Mrs. Lion has over me. I’m spanked and sometimes put in the corner for breaking rules. Punishment, or for that matter, rewards are never sexually based. She’s said that she isn’t comfortable using my sexual pleasure that way.

She has, of course, no problem teasing me and making me wait to ejaculate. She does it because I want her to. For that matter, she spanks me because I asked for that too. She does it because I want it. It isn’t that I like being spanked, but I like feeling her power. I like the postponed orgasms. It’s very exciting for me to have the level of my sexual pleasure controlled. Most men ejaculate whenever they want. Not me.

I wonder why in Mrs. Lion’s mind, it is better to provide pain (spanking), than withholding pleasure (locking me up and not stimulating me for a time) as a punishment. She wants me to learn the consequences of disobedience. But, at least up until now, sex is off limits.

So, physical pain feels better to my lioness than more intense sexual denial as a way of teaching me to obey. This isn’t a criticism. It’s an observation. She’s violating two taboos: she is intentionally administering pain, and she is forcing me to make most of my sexual experiences non-orgasmic. She is doing it, of course, with my consent. However, it seems one of the taboos is more sacred than the other.

It’s interesting to me that the control of my sexual pleasure is never used for discipline. I’ve asked Mrs. Lion about this. She’s told me that she is uncomfortable with that. I think that is because sexual control is seen more as a way to enhance my pleasure and act as a kind of game we both play. She is always clear that my waits and her decisions about letting me ejaculate are based on my sexual responses. So, I retain some control over my sexual pleasure.

Pain, on the other hand, is administered when I break a rule. My feelings about being spanked are not considered. That’s exactly right and proper. I appreciate that she does this. Why is postponing my pleasure off limits?

In a post a while ago, Mrs. Lion had mentioned putting me into my cage and making me go for some time without teasing as a punishment she can use. But, nothing happened other than that mention.

A sexual punishment might not be too effective if my last ejaculation was very recent. However, at times like this, my 23rd day of waiting, removing sexual attention for some time is a truly serious threat. I’ve enjoyed this long wait. That surprises me a bit. I would definitely not enjoy being locked up now for another week with no teasing. Of course, if Mrs. Lion locked me up soon after ejaculating, she could still make me regret my confinement if she extended the period of lockup; say for a week. That would give me time to recover from my orgasm and wish I could get hard again.

I’m not trying to make things worse for myself. I’m just observing the direction our power exchange has evolved. I’m also not saying that Mrs. Lion won’t decide to include sexual punishment in her bag of tricks. What I am saying is that women, at least Mrs. Lion, takes withholding sexual pleasure a difficult disciplinary choice.

Caged male half of a happy couple practicing enforced male chastity and domestic discipline. Locked since 1/2014. Domestic discipline 3/2015. Lion’s first mouth soaping was 7/17.

One comment on “Controlled Pleasure
  1. Mark says:

    Long (-ish) term denial, when coupled with ongoing teasing, is a real experience – very high and very frustrating at the same time. Denial without the tease (“lock ’em and ignore ’em”) is just – depressing. That obviously isn’t what’s going on in the Lion household.

    One of the memes of male chastity is that the male will suddenly find his mate (or keyholder) to be the most fascinating creature ever, and will fawn over her in every conceivable way. According to the “model”, this isn’t in direct hope of getting an orgasm, but because all of the chemicals (generally called out as dopamine and oxytocin) make it rewarding for the male to treat his potential mate as a queen. This may be true, and I was eagerly awaiting this phenomenon early on in the chastity journey, but it never materialized quite like I’d hoped.

    The reason was that I was (and am) so fucking in love with my wife that I was – and still am – already doing everything I could think of to make her happy. She did notice differences in my behavior, she said, but they were subtle – more in a deferent, almost submissive mode, which she actually didn’t like all that much. Over the years, my behavior has normalized, I guess, so we can play well with me topping, and she still feels the reassurance of my leadership; my orgasms, though, are strictly up to her.

    Just another slant on the introspective analysis that Caged Lion is doing, I guess…

What do you think?