(Friday) My allergies have been incredibly active lately. Itching keeps me from sleep as well as overwhelming any sexual interest I might have. As a result, we are in my 27th day of waiting. Mrs. Lion wanted to take an orgasm almost a week ago. Last night at almost 1am, I was not only sleepless but scratching like I had fleas (I don’t). Mrs. Lion’s sleep was interrupted by my moving around. She offered to change the bed. I accepted. She muttered that she should have done it hours ago, but I demurred. I didn’t want to trouble her. My mistake.
After Mrs. Lion changed the bed linen, I was fine and we both got to sleep. In case you are wondering, I can’t help her change the bed because the dander and dust that makes me itch, flies into the air when the sheets are removed, making me much worse. Several months ago, I cleaned the bedroom carpet. Even though the carpet cleaning machine deposits dirt into a water solution, enough dander and dust was kicked up that I needed to use a rescue inhaler.
All this leaves a lot of hard work to my lioness. She is an amazingly loving wife. Doing this physical work is difficult and painful for her. She does it without complaint. I am so lucky that she loves me.
The stereotypical female led relationship has the male doing the lioness’ share (Did you see what I did here?) of housework. She relaxes and eats bon bons. Obviously, that’s not our situation. The male fantasy about being submissive in a FLR is all about him doing menial work and providing sexual pleasure for the dominant female. That simply doesn’t translate to reality. There are guys who actually do the housework and feed bon bons to their wives. They do it as part of their effort to realize that sexy fantasy about submission.
As most of us have learned, it’s not easy to get a woman to accept this role. From what I’ve read, guys are mystified that a woman would turn down such a great deal. Who wouldn’t want to have a slave devoted to her sexual pleasure?
Pretty much any thinking woman.
If this woman happens to be your partner, she has to wonder why she has to play a role to get your devotion. You’re saying that in order for you to maximize her sexual pleasure, she has to change the way she relates to you. Shouldn’t you do all this because you love her? Of course you should. The point is that asking your partner to take charge with enforced chastity and/or FLR is, in your mind, a transaction. You want to trade pleasing her for your submission.
This seems like a good deal for her. It isn’t. If you don’t see why, reread this post from the top before going on. Being the dominant partner in either a BDSM scene or in a lifestyle power exchange is work. You don’t have anything to trade for this work. Nothing. Anything you offer in exchange for her service as a dominant is already something you should be doing now. That’s the rub. Of course, there’s another issue: You want this to be “real”, so negotiation gives you power and makes you appear (to yourself) as less submissive.
I bring all this up because we get challenged that we don’t really have a (fill in the blank) power exchange. The reason? The fact that Mrs. Lion and I are equals in almost everything. I relinquish my equality in some aspects of our relationship. Those areas include my ability to decide when I can have any form of sex. They also include giving Mrs. Lion the right to make rules regarding my behavior and enforcing them as she sees fit.
That’s quite a lot, but it’s way less than everything. I still pay the bills and we jointly make most of the decisions. Neither of us lives under the illusion that we have created a female-led marriage that touches everything between us. What we have is a gift from my lioness. Because I want and need it, she has assumed a level of control that makes me happy. Well, it doesn’t make me happy all the time. Let’s say it provides me with a sense of place and security. She is making a dream come true.
I’m doing nothing in return. There’s nothing I can do. With or without our power exchange, I will do everything I can to make her happy. There’s no need to force me to do my job as her mate. I love my work!