Lizard On A Leash

It’s only three days since my long wait ended with a bang. Yesterday, sitting at my desk, my mind wandered to how great it feels when my lioness uses her hand and mouth to arouse me. I sent her an email letting her know I was ready for action. She replied that she will be happy to make my horniness worse. What a sweetie!

I don’t understand why my level of arousal is so high early in the wait and declines as the days go by. I would swear the reverse should be true. But it isn’t; at least not for the first couple of weeks. Regardless of my sexual, mental state, Mrs. Lion can expertly get me aroused whenever she wants. I like that.

It seems to me that most guys are sexually goal oriented. They want to ejaculate. In fact, they get upset if a sexual encounter doesn’t end in ejaculation. I was that way too. But at some point I became fascinated by orgasm control. For many years I’ve been aware that a lot of women find giving oral sex or hand jobs a power rush. They like that they can control this most primal of male functions.

I wonder if our keyholders feel that way too. Or does Mrs. Lion find controlling my sexual experience just a routine part of her daily life. I can never consider edging and enforced chastity routine. Yes, I’m accustomed to not ejaculating when I am sexually aroused. That doesn’t stop my lizard brain from wanting me to ejaculate. It doesn’t care about the higher brain’s participation in this sexual game. It only knows that if a female is sexually available, it wants me to ejaculate. Period.

This primal part of males is what I think makes sexually controlling us so exciting. At some level, every woman knows that once she has a hard penis in her hand or mouth, she has the lizard brain on a leash. If she stops before he can ejaculate, she can feel the lizard brain straining at its leash. It doesn’t matter if this is first or thousandth experience, that lizard wants to run all the way to the end. It hates that leash, even if the higher brain functions likes the exercise of power.

I wonder if Mrs. Lion knows this. She’s said that the fun of edging me is the danger of going too far and setting off a ruined orgasm. She’s never expressed any thoughts of the primal power she exerts over me.

I also wonder how many guys understand why they can never become accustomed to being edged. We want to be teased. We are delighted when our partners start. Even though we are fully aware that we will not get over the top, once we get hard, our lizard brain takes over and we can only think of ejaculating. I think the repeated defeats of our lizard brains is a big part of what makes us feel submissive.

Submission is an intellectual concept. It can be defined in terms of the power exchange. Agreements can be written and signed. Rules and punishment are understood and felt. But they are higher brain concepts. Orgasm denial reaches the part of us that doesn’t sign agreements. It doesn’t care what the higher brain wants. The lizard brain only knows that the penis is being stimulated. It wants to order ejaculation. But it can’t until physiological height of arousal is reached. If stimulation stops before that point, frustration replaces arousal.

Women who understand the primal male imperative to ejaculate, can use this imperative to control us. We can’t defend against it. No matter how much we want to help and not ejaculate, once the lizard brain takes over, we want to come. I can feel when this happens to me. I’m very happy I’m going to be teased. I love feeling Mrs. Lion’s hand on my penis. Then, without warning, I feel the need to ejaculate building up. All I can do is try my best to do it. I change. Mrs. Lion can see it and use the changes to time her denial.

When I reach the edge and she stops, I will sometimes thrust instinctively. I may groan, grit my teeth, and just want to ejaculate. Then, after a short time, my upper brain takes over and I sigh and brace for her next onslaught. And it happens again, and again. I react the same way each time. I can’t help it. My lizard brain hates its leash.