Lion has been wild for months. Recently we’ve been in a sort of slump when it comes to playing. Between Lion’s allergies and both our aches, we haven’t really been living up to our female led marriage.
I’ve made a few suggestions about the cage but the other day I asked Lion if he thought the cage would jump start things again. He said he didn’t know but he didn’t have a say in the matter. Maybe not ultimately but I want his opinion. Yesterday I asked again. I got the same response. But he did add that he likes being wild.
I don’t run a dictatorship. We discuss things. At least I thought we did. Apparently we don’t when it comes to the cage. I know he’s looking for me to make a decision but I’d like some input. Absent that I will make a decision.
I’m aware that I am in charge and you’re probably yelling at the screen right now. “Lock him up! Lock him up!” We’ve already established that he doesn’t need to be caged to be faithful. (That was never an issue.) And he’s beyond the point of masturbating. So why cage him again? That’s what I want to know!
In the beginning the cage forced us (me) to put sex/intimacy/play in the forefront. Lion was helpless. Locked away in his ivory tower with no one to play with him. I vowed to unlock him at least every other day to tease him. Then it became every day. For years. And then he had surgery. The cage came off because life would have been impossible with it on. And it hasn’t really been back on for any length of time.
So now I’m wondering if the original intent of the cage is still valid. Would it force me to play with him or would it just be a giant pain in the ass? Well, pain in his balls. But pain in my ass. And I’m not getting any real input from Lion which makes me wonder if he’s willfully being silent in hopes that I’ll slap the damn cage back on just to spite him. Reverse-reverse-reverse psychology.
On the way out to my truck this morning I was thinking about locking him up again. But now I’m thinking about leaving him wild. Clearly I’m still undecided.
I have read daily for several months. Maybe Lion has said all he has to say…although I’m still interested in what I’m reading. I have to confess, I’ve sort of wondered for awhile about the dynamics of a chastity blog by a man who isn’t in chastity.
I get life, injuries, & conditioned behavior…but at the end of the day chastity generally involves chastity rather than abstinence. I wonder if, at some level, Lion doesn’t feel a certain ennui because he too feels like he’s sort of missing the point….?
I don’t intend this to sound like a criticism. I think you’re doing the world a solid with what you’re writing…it’s sorely needed if for no other reason than to counteract some of the silly horseshit that’s on the Internet.
And yet….the blogs you list as things you follow have mostly not been updated in years. Lion isn’t wearing a cage these days. Sometimes you don’t sound like you mean it when you talk about administering punishments for the exact same behaviors that occur over & over. If the punishments don’t curb the behaviors….what’s the point?
When I was a kid I would loudly proclaim “I just mopped that floor!” To which I inevitably received the reply “I saw you push a damp mop around the floor but I wouldn’t say you actually cleaned anything, do it right.” The day I figured out that doing it right & meaning it meant I could be finished in 15minutes instead of bitching for 90 is when I think I actually began to grow up. I learned the lesson…”do it right the first time” and I’ve been trying to remember that my whole life. The larger lesson is “whatever you do, invest it with as much honesty & integrity as you can & you may fail but you’ll never be ashamed.”
If ya’ll can’t remember a punishment day…do you really not have a smartphone calendar you can plug a reminder into?
Again…not intended to be criticisms. I’m interested in what you have to say. But if you don’t actually seem invested in the lifestyle you’re chronicling, I’m not surprised that the blog is becoming a drag rather than a way to gain perspective. Surely Lion is at least as grownup as I am; self-honesty is probably pushing him to make some kind of a change.
What type of change he elects to make is, of course, up to him. Plato wrote that the virtue of a knife is to cut; a knife that doesn’t cut, it follows, has no particular virtue.
N’est pas?
Wow, that’s quite an indictment. First of all, male chastity isn’t defined as the male wearing a chastity device. You’ll find a great number of men who have been practicing male chastity for years, don’t wear them. I guess you missed my post about that. Enforced male chastity is about sexual control, not hardware. In the last four years the only ejaculating I’ve done has been induced by Mrs. Lion. I only get to come when she wants.
“I have to confess, I’ve sort of wondered for awhile about the dynamics of a chastity blog by a man who isn’t in chastity.”
Well, apparently to you this is about the hardware. Actually, I think that chastity devices are more a male fetish than anything at all to do with actual chastity. So, I am as much “in chastity” as I was when locked up. I imagine I will be wearing a cage again because Mrs. Lion and I have been wondering if the hardware actually contributes to our success. We both think not, but maybe she will want me to wear it just to be sure.
“I don’t intend this to sound like a criticism.”
Could have fooled me.
“…the blogs you list as things you follow have mostly not been updated in years.”
Really? The oldest post in my list was published 7 months ago. Most are less than a month old.
“Sometimes you don’t sound like you mean it when you talk about administering punishments for the exact same behaviors that occur over & over. If the punishments don’t curb the behaviors….what’s the point? “
Are you sure you have been reading our blog? We established two sorts of offenses: One is the sort of things I just can’t avoid doing; like spilling food on my shirt. The other sort are behaviors I am to correct. I rarely break rules of the second kind. I’ll never avoid spilling stuff on my shirt once in a while. We established the spilling rule to provide practice for both of us in discipline. It works for us.
“If ya’ll can’t remember a punishment day…do you really not have a smartphone calendar you can plug a reminder into?”
Yup. Got one that is supposed to remind me. But I still get busy and forget. I don’t forget very often!
“Again…not intended to be criticisms. I’m interested in what you have to say. But if you don’t actually seem invested in the lifestyle you’re chronicling,”
Seems like your criticisms always start off by protesting you aren’t being critical. I suggest reading this blog a little more closely. The only thing we chronicle is the lifestyle we are following. It may not fit your definitions, but it is what we do and what we write about. We’re not stereotypical examples. We’re just us and we hope you enjoy reading about our adventures.
I wear a device as I think you are both aware. It’s a Jailbird and probably was purchased on the basis of your recommendation (amongst others). I do have a few others, but I never wear them. I am usually free on weekends at least for parts of them, as my Queen likes easy access when she might like to get busy. The rest of the time I’m caged. What I find about wearing the device is that I think about my Queen all the time. The device is a symbol of our FLR, much as a wedding ring is a symbol of our union. Prior to wearing the device I would masturbate frequently—now I can’t even remember when the last time I masturbated was. Now, it is unlikely that I would masturbate at all. I’m also not interested in cheating. But I still like being made to wear the cage as it demonstrates her power over me, and constantly reminds me of her. Sitting to pee is one of her rules, but when I am uncaged it might not happen as often as it should. lol Though I have been caught and punished for my disobedience! lol
Someone I follow in England is in a FLR and practices chastity. He doesn’t wear a cage as he hasn’t been able to find a comfortable one and his Mistress doesn’t like cages. Still he is only allowed 8-10 orgasms in a good year and some of those are ruined. The cage is a symbol! But not necessarily a needed tool.
Well, to me the cage is a few things:
> A constant physical reminder of who is in charge.
> A frequent reminder that I love to submit to my love.
> A very sexy thing for a partner to ask for, and it makes me feel different.
> The only or best type of potentially 24/7 sexual thing or sexy bondage thing a guy can wear anywhere.
> Such a powerful thing to ALLOW your partner to decide, and you agree to be obedient and submissive regarding this powerful sysbol.
I also have NO issues regarding monogamy and masturbation. I never have. WHY do I find chastity devices sexy & powerful? I just do. Why is it needed? It’s NOT needed. It’s just something fun a couple can do 🙂
I agree completely.