We had an interesting comment yesterday on my post, although it was directed more to Lion than me. Lion responded to it. Among other things, the person wondered about “the dynamics of a chastity blog by a man who isn’t in chastity.” Huh?
Lion is not currently in a chastity device. He is still in chastity. A chastity device, or cage, limits the wearer’s ability to have an erection, to masturbate, and to cheat. Chastity is just a fancy word for “I promise not to have sex outside marriage” or whatever relationship the person is in. Obviously most people can manage that without a device or there would certainly be more people wearing them.
Lion and I have never been unfaithful to each other. In that sense we’re both chaste. Lion did, however, masturbate when our sex life was all but nonexistent. Technically he didn’t stray outside the marriage but he did have sex without me.
Ironically, once Lion was locked in the chastity device he started to have more sex than without it. To us the cage’s intent was to bring sex back into our marriage. Sure other men are locked away and only rarely unlocked and even more rarely given an orgasm. To each his own. Making Lion wait a long time between orgasms isn’t really our thing. I still don’t really care about orgasms for me. My focus has been on improving Lion’s sex life and, in turn, our intimacy. It certainly did the trick.
Over time, the cage has become unnecessary. I suppose one could argue it was never really necessary. Let’s just say it served its purpose. We are closer and our sex life has improved. He gets the lion’s share of attention. (Sorry for that – no I’m not.) He gets edged several times a week except when there are health issues or he’s in a slump.
Along the way we’ve added female led marriage with domestic discipline into the mix. Most of it plays into his history of BDSM. He likes to be controlled. He loves bondage. He likes to be spanked although he will be the first one to admit that punishment spankings are vastly different from play spankings. He does not like punishment spankings.
Does he need the cage anymore? Not to be chaste he doesn’t, but lately there’s been a break in the action. We’ve been toying with the idea of whether locking him up again would help. It worked the first time. It seems logical it could work again. We have not decided yet. We need to do something to jump start things.