Sticker Shock

I don’t know about you, but when Mrs. Lion turns a fantasy of mine into reality for me, I generally suffer sticker shock. Spanking is a very good example of this. Over the years, I have been spanked as part of BDSM scenes. Those spankings are the sexy stuff of fantasies. Of course they are. They are custom-built experiences designed to fulfill a fantasy.

I felt confident my fantasy would come true when I asked Mrs. Lion to make rules and punish me for breaking them. I wrote about how a disciplinary spanking should go. She took my advice. I very quickly learned that while the thought of being punished was very hot, the reality wasn’t. It was awful. I couldn’t stay in position for more than a few vicious swats with a member of my her paddle arsenal. It was too much.

Eventually, thanks to advice from Julie, spankings got longer, much longer. The burn lingered for a while after she finished. Again, thanks to Julie, we learned about post-spanking corner time. Whether spent standing or sitting on the very-uncomfortable punishment stool, the residual pain is amplified.

Some of our readers have said that they don’t understand how a spanking that starts off gently and gradually grows more severe, can be punishment. After all, isn’t that the same as a BDSM scene spanking? Yes it is. Punishment spankings are generally longer and more painful. But that isn’t the worst of it.

BDSM scenes are planned, usually discussed, and always start after some sort of preparation by the top and bottom. Punishment spankings are matter of fact. “Roll over,” Mrs. Lion says. I roll over, my bare bottom exposed.

There is no preliminary fondling. Mrs. Lion picks up her paddle and begins. Yes, she starts off gently and gradually increases intensity. She intersperses some swats so hard I scream. After I settle back into position, she resumes. I’m sure my average spanking is several hundred swats of varying intensity. As I wrote earlier this week (post), I have no say on if or when I am punished.

One of the key attributes of a BDSM scene is that the bottom wants the top to do things. Negotiation and discussion of limits precedes the fun. That assures the activities are completely consensual.

In my case, consent is a bit different. I absolutely consent to Mrs. Lion’s right to make rules and punish me as she sees fit. We don’t negotiate. My opinion isn’t required. I not only consented to let her do this, I asked her.

I spent many years as a dungeon monitor and master. I’ve worked many BDSM events of all sizes. I’ve only had to stop a scene once because I felt it was unsafe. The bottom didn’t safeword. At these events, people religiously abide by safewords. In general, it is exceedingly rare to find a top willing to go as far as the bottom wishes. Tops probably need safewords more than their bottoms.

Mrs. Lion is the one unwilling to push me as far as I ask. Perhaps the most difficult part of submitting to her is learning to accept that I can’t turn up the volume on our activities. I have no doubt that when it comes to obedience and punishment, it won’t be long before I’ll be in the corner feeling more than sticker shock. Mrs. Lion takes her time, but eventually she takes me well beyond my fantasies.