Initially we began enforced chastity as a way to provide me with a sex life. That sounds weird, I know. How is preventing me from having erections and orgasms a way to give me sex?
To understand, we have to go back a decade. While everything else in our marriage was perfect, we weren’t having sex. I think it was my fault. I find it very difficult to initiate sexual activity. It’s been a problem of mine for a very long time. I don’t like admitting it because it makes me feel that something is wrong with me. Maybe there is. But I have always been terrible at initiation.
Somehow through most of my life I still managed to have lots of sex. But after we were together a few years, a sexual divide formed between us. Ironically, we grew much closer in every other part of our lives. I masturbated every few days and maybe once a month or so, Mrs. Lion gave me a handjob or, more rarely, a blowjob or we had intercourse.
I felt horrible about the situation, but not about us. I was never a big fan of porn, so my masturbatory fodder was generally fantasies about BDSM play. Since before meeting Mrs. Lion, I had been very active in the BDSM community, I had lots of adventures to recall. I had also written about sex toys, among them male chastity devices. In the years pre-lioness, I received samples and tested these devices. None from back then were even remotely comfortable to wear.
Anyway, about four years ago I typed “Chastity” into the amazon.com search bar. Then I tried “male chastity” and I was greeted by listing after listing of male chastity devices. They were all very inexpensive, so I ordered a couple. I felt a thrill when they arrived. At the same time I Googled male chastity and found some blogs and a couple for forums.
I read and wrote on two of them. All this fueled my imagination and started me thinking about trying this with Mrs. Lion. My idea was that if she locked up my cock, she couldn’t ignore it; not that she made a point of doing that. But I figured the lockup and edging would restore our sex life. The online fantasies always featured the keyholder getting lots of orgasms from the caged male. I like(d) that idea a lot.
In a way, I think I saw enforced chastity as a way of transferring sexual initiation to Mrs. Lion. After all, she has the key. I also figured that any tension over who should start the proceedings would dissolve because only she could do it. I know this sounds selfishly manipulative. Maybe it was. But my strongest thought was that we could restore intimacy.
By asking her to lock me up, I was admitting to myself that I failed as the aggressor. Later, when we wrote about all this and discussed it, it turned out that Mrs. Lion was also wrestling with my failure to initiate. In fact, she was quietly angry about that and made a point of waiting for me to start something.
To complicate things further, Mrs. Lion lost her libido. I blame myself for that. Perhaps if I had been better about initiating she would have remained the horny lioness I dated before we lived together. We’ve tried to light that flame again. So far the efforts haven’t worked. Maybe it isn’t just a case of use-it-or-lose-it. It could be organic. In any case, I’ve felt badly about this for a long time.
In the meantime with our enforced chastity going full force, I was getting sexual attention. We were snuggling and having sexual conversations. Mrs. Lion’s libido hasn’t returned, but the resentment and guilt have dissipated significantly. Mrs. Lion has defined her role as giving me a good sex life.
That’s a pretty odd sounding comment but it correctly defines our current sexual situation. She’s incredibly successful. I’m having a lot of frustrating fun. I think she is enjoying herself too. We can go on this way forever. Though, I have to admit that I would love for her to want sex again. Even though we have been doing this for a long time, it still bothers me that it’s one-way sex.