One-Way Sex

Initially we began enforced chastity as a way to provide me with a sex life. That sounds weird, I know. How is preventing me from having erections and orgasms a way to give me sex?

To understand, we have to go back a decade. While everything else in our marriage was perfect, we weren’t having sex. I think it was my fault. I find it very difficult to initiate sexual activity. It’s been a problem of mine for a very long time. I don’t like admitting it because it makes me feel that something is wrong with me. Maybe there is.  But I have always been terrible at initiation.

Somehow through most of my life I still managed to have lots of sex. But after we were together a few years, a sexual divide formed between us. Ironically, we grew much closer in every other part of our lives. I masturbated every few days and maybe once a month or so, Mrs. Lion gave me a handjob or, more rarely, a blowjob or we had intercourse.

I felt horrible about the situation, but not about us. I was never a big fan of porn, so my masturbatory fodder was generally fantasies about BDSM play. Since before meeting Mrs. Lion, I had been very active in the BDSM community, I had lots of adventures to recall. I had also written about sex toys, among them male chastity devices. In the years pre-lioness, I received samples and tested these devices. None from back then were even remotely comfortable to wear.

Anyway, about four years ago I typed “Chastity” into the amazon.com search bar. Then I tried “male chastity” and I was greeted by listing after listing of male chastity devices. They were all very inexpensive, so I ordered a couple. I felt a thrill when they arrived. At the same time I Googled male chastity and found some blogs and a couple for forums.

I read and wrote on two of them. All this fueled my imagination and started me thinking about trying this with Mrs. Lion. My idea was that if she locked up my cock, she couldn’t ignore it; not that she made a point of doing that. But I figured the lockup and edging would restore our sex life. The online fantasies always featured the keyholder getting lots of orgasms from the caged male. I like(d) that idea a lot.

In a way, I think I saw enforced chastity as a way of transferring sexual initiation to Mrs. Lion. After all, she has the key. I also figured that any tension over who should start the proceedings would dissolve because only she could do it. I know this sounds selfishly manipulative. Maybe it was. But my strongest thought was that we could restore intimacy.

By asking her to lock me up, I was admitting to myself that I failed as the aggressor. Later, when we wrote about all this and discussed it, it turned out that Mrs. Lion was also wrestling with my failure to initiate. In fact, she was quietly angry about that and made a point of waiting for me to start something.

To complicate things further, Mrs. Lion lost her libido. I blame myself for that. Perhaps if I had been better about initiating she would have remained the horny lioness I dated before we lived together. We’ve tried to light that flame again. So far the efforts haven’t worked. Maybe it isn’t just a case of use-it-or-lose-it. It could be organic. In any case, I’ve felt badly about this for a long time.

In the meantime with our enforced chastity going full force, I was getting sexual attention. We were snuggling and having sexual conversations. Mrs. Lion’s libido hasn’t returned, but the resentment and guilt have dissipated significantly. Mrs. Lion has defined her role as giving me a good sex life.

That’s a pretty odd sounding comment but it correctly defines our current sexual situation. She’s incredibly successful. I’m having a lot of frustrating fun. I think she is enjoying herself too. We can go on this way forever. Though, I have to admit that I would love for her to want sex again. Even though we have been doing this for a long time, it still bothers me that it’s one-way sex.

8 comments on “One-Way Sex
  1. I think that would be the hardest thing for me. I so enjoy the process of giving my Queen orgasms. It would be terrible for me if she didn’t want them anymore.

    • Caged Lion says:

      I think that the fact it is one way is the hardest part for me.

    • Mark says:

      I completely agree – it would be awful for me too if my wife no longer was interested in sexual interaction for herself; Our kinky sex lives were a significant part of what brought us together in the first place. Ironically, I may have to face just that situation.

      About 6 weeks ago, I went on a journey by car for about a week, so my wife locked me up before I left. While I was on that trip, my wife was admitted to the hospital, for what turned out to be a very serious condition. After a couple of days, she was intubated and sedated in the ICU for more than two weeks, during which time she came incredibly close to death. After the ICU, she spent another week and a half in a regular room, before coming home safe, but very, very weak. She’s recovering well, but slowly, and the process will take weeks.

      While my wife was in the hospital, I stayed locked – I didn’t even look for the key. In a nonsensical way, I was sort of clinging to the idea that she’d have to come back to me, and that I’d wait for as long as it took. Silly, I know, but it was a very emotional time (I was a wreck, actually)…

      Most importantly of all, my beautiful wife is now home, and on the road to a full recovery. She’s been home for a week, and is convalescing slowly. Very understandably, she has zero interest in any sexual activities, and I certainly don’t want to pester her. She still hasn’t unlocked me (six weeks at this point), and now I’m telling myself that I’ll wait until she’s truly back, and *does* feel sexual, for her to release me. (Naturally, I could safeword at any time.)

      At this point, neither of us know if that day will come. Obviously, I dearly hope that it will, because as I alluded to at the beginning of this message, one of my greatest pleasures is pleasing her sexually. But if it doesn’t, we’ll still be perfectly OK – we’ll just have to modify things somewhat. Perhaps our family will be somewhat like the Lions in that area…
      ~

      • I hope she recovers fully Mark. How awful to be away when something of that magnitude happens! And the feeling of helplessness must have been overwhelming! All the best!! Stay locked—I am sure she will be sexual with you in time—hopefully not too long from now. All the best!

      • Caged Lion says:

        My sympathies on your wife’s condition. One of my big worries is that when I travel, something will happen to Mrs. Lion. If you have an emergency key, you might consider unlocking yourself. I’m sure that both of you have a lot more on your minds than enforced chastity. Even bringing up the topic may not be appropriate at this time.

        • Mark says:

          Thank you for the good thoughts – I do appreciate it. i have never been more scared in my life than when I watched CPR being performed on her (for 20 minutes!) after a full cardiac arrest. The survival rate for that, *when it occurs in the hospital,* is only about 20%. So very thankfully, she not only survived, but with no brain damage, and will hopefully completely recover.

          There is no emergency key, but if I’d looked hard enough (I didn’t at all), I probably could have found hers. if not, I have a well-equipped workshop (though it would be too bad to destroy an expensive toy). Now that my wife is home, I could, as I mentioned, just safeword. All the chastity play is of course trivial compared to her survival.

          @CollaredMichael, I do intend to stay locked up (which means not safewording – removing the cage is up to her). In the meantime, she has quite a bit of psychological recovery as well: she had some horrible nightmares while she was sedated for so long, and we’re working through her feeling safe going to sleep in the real world. Lots and lots of gentle caring and support (while trying not to smother) is the plan for now.
          `

          • Caged Lion says:

            Good wishes to you and your wife. My experience with anesthesia drugs was difficult. It took a lot of time for the effects to wear off; months. Hang in there. Things will get back to normal in good time. In the meantime, take good care of her.

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