Is It Abusive?

Sometimes people wonder about how I can consent to being punished. Clearly, I don’t like the pain, and often want to resist accepting it. My most recent example is the last time Mrs. Lion spanked me. She noted that I was pissed when she told me to roll over and expose my bottom. I was. I didn’t say anything but my face clearly expressed my feelings.

Was that spanking consensual? It had to be. I rolled over. I wasn’t restrained. I’m stronger than Mrs. Lion. I could have refused or rolled away while she was beating me. I didn’t. Some might argue that I was emotionally restrained. I’ve been trained to obey. I don’t think so. The only possible consequences of my rebellion would have been loss of our power exchange. Mrs. Lion could just end it.

That’s always the implied threat behind serious disobedience. Is that enough to cover abuse? Possibly in some cases, but not ours. Had I refused to be spanked, Mrs. Lion would most likely let it go, at least for a while. Accepting it was on me.

When I was told to roll over, I growled inwardly. I did think about arguing against being spanked. But then I realized that the point of punishment is to deter future offenses. I’m not supposed to feel good about the impending pain. I’m supposed to want to avoid it. It’s completely normal in non-BDSM punishment to feel angry about the painful intrusion. But it’s wrong to resist.

The fairly frequent punishments have trained both of us. Mrs. Lion has learned to punish each and every infraction. It’s part of her effort to be consistent with me. I’ve been trained to accept, gracefully or not, Mrs. Lion’s penalties. The entire point of making it an offense if I get food on my shirt is to assure punishment occurs regularly.

Some people use maintenance spankings. My problem with these is that they are almost the same as BDSM spanking. The only reason they are given is because the dominant wants to remind the bottom of her power. It’s a much stronger message to me when I notice I dripped something on my shirt and Mrs. Lion gives me that pointed stare.

From that moment until the paddle comes out, I am dreading the consequences. It’s that emotional component that is the real training for me. I know that I will be paddled no matter what mood I’m in. Up until now, Mrs. Lion’s spankings for spills have been milder than for more serious offenses. I expect that she will continue this, but make her milder spankings a lot worse. That’s also good training for me.

There are two components to these punishments: The first is my immediate obedience to her command to expose my bottom. The second is my “spanking manners”; how I behave while I am being paddled. These haven’t been very good. I squirm and sometimes even roll over for a bit. This is normal. I’ve read that most guys do the same when the pain gets very intense.

However, this is a behavior to be discouraged. I should remain in position throughout the entire punishment. Some squirming and feet kicking is probably as much as I should be allowed to do. What should Mrs. Lion do if I do cross the line during a spanking? According to Julie, she should stop, tell me she is starting over, and do so. I imagine it won’t take very long for me to learn my manners.

The same is true when I don’t immediately thank Mrs. Lion for spanking me. I generally forget this unless she reminds me. The idea of repunishing for offenses during the punishment is reasonable and extremely unpleasant for me. Still, it’s the right thing for Mrs. Lion to do. And, it most certainly isn’t abusive.