I’ve never gotten used to the idea of being locked into something 24/7. Sure, I’ve been tied up, had wrist and ankle restraints padlocked on me. But, after the play session ended, the locks came off. Since my play partners have always been safe, I was never left alone while restrained. Then, along came enforced chastity.
The chastity device is locked over my penis. I can’t escape it without a lot of very painful effort. If I do manage to get it off, I can’t get it back on. The point is that there is something attached to my body that I can’t remove. Since I am naked at home (on cold days, I can wear a t-shirt), my locked genitals are always visible.
When I discuss how it feels to be locked up, Mrs. Lion argues that I asked for it. I am getting what I want. That request was over four years ago. When I mentioned that to her, she shrugged and repeated that I asked for it.
That doesn’t change the frequent feelings of helplessness that goes with locking away a part of my body. It doesn’t change the way my balls are permanently pushed out and exposed. The normal male ball shrinkage is unavailable to me. I am acutely aware of that.
All this is concealed when wearing clothes. Only when things get a bit out of line and pinch, am I aware that I have something locked onto my body. It’s there under my jeans, almost invisible. But if you know what to look for, you might spot it. Part of the thrill is the slight risk of discovery. Yes, even after four years, the feeling doesn’t fade completely into the background.
Wearing a chastity device is unlike any other experience I’ve had. It doesn’t matter that I have an emergency key that I can use to unlock myself. Using that would be an admission of defeat.
The feelings associated with wearing a chastity device are incredibly complicated for me. Yes, it’s simple to be locked into one. The mechanics are easy. What does that device locked on my cock mean to my partner? How does she think of it? Is her view that it is a toy I wanted her to lock onto me? Or, does she view it another way?
I know that Mrs. Lion was happy when I was wild. The device didn’t seem to have any particular value to her in terms of our relationship. I wonder if this isn’t something that only matters to me. She’s willing to enforce my wearing it. But why? She isn’t worried I will jerk off or find another lioness for some extra curricular fun. But I will get hard, even help myself get an erection sometimes if I am wild. She hasn’t said that she minds that I did that but could that be something she wants to discourage?
I want to think of the device locked on my penis as something I can’t control. I don’t want to think of it as penis jewelry that I like to wear. I want it to be more than a symbol. I know why I wanted to be locked up. I’m pretty sure that Mrs. Lion doesn’t think of the chastity device the way I want her to. You’d think that after all this time we would have worked all this out. But we haven’t. I don’t think it is a requirement that we do.