Month: January 2018

Lion was horny last night. I don’t get it. He just had an orgasm the night before. He shouldn’t have been horny last night. Must be the full moon. He’s usually not horny for a night or two after an orgasm.

Again he asked if I was going to lock him up. Again I told him if I locked him up because he asked then it wouldn’t be my idea and he wants it to be my idea. We both know whose idea it really is but I should initiate him being locked up again. And it has to be by my rules. When I say he should be wild then he should be wild. Of course if there is a sore spot or a doctor appointment that requires examination below the waist then the cage can come off. Lion can also ask for it to come off and I’ll consider whether or not he makes a good case for it or not.

The standard rules will apply. I’ll unlock him at least every other day (barring illness) to play with him. I won’t just leave him languishing in the cage all but forgotten. And if the cage is back full time then I expect him to remind me if I seem to have forgotten to lock him back up again when I’m done with him. I do think about Mr. Weenie more than most wives think about their husbands’ penises but it is not at the forefront of my mind.

I’m still trying to determine if I want the cage back full time. For the first few days I know I’ll hear Lion saying he liked it better when he was wild and he got pinched at work or on the way home in the car. And I’ll have to remember to get the key out so I can play with him. And then he’ll want me to hide the key again so he can’t get to it. And then there’s the debate about the emergency key. Is it worth all that hassle? Probably. But I’m still thinking about it.

I’m still wild. I suspect that my recent discovery of woman-initiated, enforced male chastity may have given Mrs. Lion pause. I’ve embraced the idea of turning the penis into a toy owned by the keyholder. This concept implies, to me at least, that my penis would be locked at all times Mrs. Lion doesn’t want to play with it.

She mentioned that such possession wouldn’t really apply to us since she has no interest in sex for herself. I agree that limits the usefulness of the penis-as-toy. But she’s managed to enjoy it by teasing me and providing eventual ejaculations.

It’s true that I initiated all this stuff. None of it was her idea. I’m very lucky she embraced it. She doesn’t like the idea of me wearing the device when I travel, or at other times when it might be inconvenient, like on our camping trips.. I get it.

In fact, I agree with her approach. She’s already made my penis hers. The chastity device is just something I like to wear. It is, to me, the exclamation point at the end of her declaration of ownership. I like physical manifestations of things. I love bondage. I don’t generally need it. I’m not going anywhere. The actual feel of physical restraint turns my internal reality into the physical as well.

The chastity device has a unique effect on me. It reminds me of its power even at times when I have no thoughts at all of sex, much less using it for release. It loudly proclaims to me that someone else is in control. I really like that.

On the other hand, Mrs. Lion seems to have no such interest. She’s content to know I’m not going to cheat. Verification and enforcement aren’t part of her domination calculus. In fact, I think that any slip I might have would hurt her and she would blame herself. The idea of preventing the possibility of an “accident” isn’t terribly meaningful to her

That’s where we are very different. I’m turned on by being forced to obey. She likes it when I just do the right thing. She’s very aware of this difference and works hard to provide me with the concrete realities of rules and punishments. I’m very grateful.

We are very different in this basic way. Yet, we make each other very happy. Somehow we just fit. I can’t ask for any more than that.

I fixed Lion’s horniness last night. I tied his balls up and got him nice and hard. Unfortunately once I stopped he wasn’t so hard anymore. I guess it’s understandable but he usually has some residual hardness. I was a little bummed because I like when he’s really hard.

I do have more than one gun in my arsenal though. I don’t think he got quite as hard as when he was tied up but that’s okay. I edged him a few more times and then let him come. I didn’t have any idea how long he’d been waiting. [Lion – It was 8 days]  Right now the only problem I see with giving him an orgasm is that it will take him a day or two to recover. No fun with Lion until he’s horny again.

That’s not entirely true. I could still do menthol rubs or pegging. But those aren’t much fun for him when he’s not horny and therefore not much fun for me. I guess you could argue that menthol rubs aren’t ever much fun for him but you know what I mean.

We can still snuggle even if he isn’t horny. That’s always fun and definitely not dependent on Mr. Weenie being in the mood.

When we were done with the night’s festivities Lion asked if I was going to lock him up. The cage has become a big deal to him lately. He wants to be locked up but only if it’s my idea. How can it be my idea if he asks me to lock him up? He doesn’t want to be unlocked unless I want him to be unlocked. I know the cage is on his mind because he’s found a blog by a woman who initiated chastity. It makes being in the cage more exciting at the moment. He wants me to be excited about it too. All I can commit to is to read more of her blog. We’ll take it from there.

When that lock snaps shut, the contents of the cage are put away until the next time she wants to play with it.

Until a few days ago, I was unaware that a woman would initiate enforced male chastity. My awareness had been limited to male-initiated chastity device wearing. The woman’s role in that is to accommodate the male’s request, generally because she wants to please him. Now that we are hearing from women who want to lock their men up, my perspective is changing.

The difference is subtle, but very significant. The female perspective that Sayyidsgirl has shared turns everything around for me. Her position is very simple. She wants to possess his penis. She wants to be able to take it out when she wants to use it and then put it away again when she is done. The chastity device assures that she and she alone can use it.

There’s no elaborate design to deny his orgasms. That’s a male-centrist view. She doesn’t care about orgasm frequency (sorry if I am putting words in your mouth, Sayyidsgirl). Her interest is playing with her toy when it suits her. Yes, she is aware that for his mental health he may need to ejaculate now and then. But that is simply showing good stewardship for her possession.

If you extend this concept a little, it’s clear that there is no ceremony or elaborate rules surrounding his chastity. There is no need. He gave his penis to her and now she owns it. They may do BDSM play, even switch. But the penis is no longer part of it. That’s her toy exactly the same way a dildo or butt plug is. The toy comes out when desired and gets cleaned and put away when she is done.

From the male perspective, this is depersonalizing sex. Of course she knows that. She knows that by taking physical ownership of his penis, she is exercising major power over him. The more she treats the penis as her toy and refuses to allow him to make it more important, the more power she has. Dildos don’t get to make rules, right? The penis is no different.

I admit it. I like this perspective. Even in our case when Mrs. Lion only uses my penis to tease me and make me ejaculate, the equation still works. Nobody says the penis must be used for female sexual pleasure. It only says that the penis belongs to her and it’s her toy.

I was having trouble understanding why I would need to wear a chastity device when I won’t masturbate, even when wild. The device, as I’ve written, is my kink and wearing it is a chance to practice it. But if Mrs. Lion decides to actually take ownership of my penis, then the cage is necessary. It’s how she stores it safely away for her exclusive use.

If it comes off when Mrs. Lion doesn’t want to use it, in a real sense she is sharing ownership with me. It has nothing to do with what I do when wild. It is like leaving your dog outside unattended. The dog may always stay close and come home, but she can wander if she wants. Our dog is very good about that, but the possibility remains that she could find a fun play partner and run off.

That’s not a great analogy. I’m not in danger of doing that (neither is our dog), but simply knowing I can dilutes the power exchange. Mrs. Lion is uncomfortable with an always-on policy. I think that is less due to her concerns about my comfort than it is about the fact that her view of the device is not about possession, but about pleasing me.

Mrs. Lion isn’t a very possessive woman. She would be very unhappy sharing me. I’m sure of that. But she seems willing to risk a slip if I jerk off. She won’t like it if I do. But then the chastity device is not about me jerking off in either scenario. It isn’t about preventing me from doing something. It’s about permanently removing any access but hers. It’s her property and she doesn’t want anyone’s, even my hands on it.

She’s referred to it as “my weenie”. So I know that she talks possessively. Would taking full, physical ownership feel good to her? I’m not sure it would. Regardless, I will never think of a chastity device the same way.