Masturbated, Not Masturbating

I never really spent a lot of time thinking about how my masturbation might affect others. I was genuinely surprised that Mrs. Lion had no idea that I jerked off. I barely gave it a thought. It was just something I did when horny and the prospect of partner sex was unlikely.

I will admit that I had the occasional fantasy of women making me masturbate while they watched. It was never a very hot fantasy, but sometimes while playing with myself it played on my fantasy movie screen. It was far from my go-to fantasy. It’s been so long that I’m not sure what got me across the goal line.

It almost certainly had some BDSM components. I always imagined it was someone else’s hand stroking me. Mostly it was just a way to scratch an itch. I’m not claiming I never liked jerking off. It was usually fun to come. Sometimes, even that wasn’t particularly pleasant.

On the other hand, I genuinely enjoy hand jobs. Mrs. Lion is an expert at delivering them. We both agree she doesn’t need lube. I never used any when I did it myself. Sometimes Mrs. Lion does use lube. It’s nice as a change, but dry rubs usually feel best.

As I said before, I never gave masturbation a lot of thought. The fact is that over the last four years the vast majority of sexual attention I’ve received is via Mrs. Lion’s hand. She almost always edges me with her hand. On rare occasions she uses the Magic Wand. Even less frequently, I get edged orally.

Actual orgasms are two-thirds by hand or vibrator. About a third of the time I get to come in her mouth. We haven’t had vaginal sex in over a year. I haven’t used my hand since December 2013.

A hand job is masturbation. It’s just not my hand doing it. So I can’t claim I don’t like it. I love it. I’m masturbated instead of masturbating. That is, for me at least, a big difference. Mrs. Lion’s hand feels orders of magnitude better than mine.

That brings me to a point I only considered for the first time today: Would I be as humiliated if I were masturbated in front of others as I would if I did it myself? If Mrs. Lion brought a friend home, had me strip, and then gave me a hand job in front of her friend, I think I would be more humiliated than if I did it with my own hand.

There’s the aspect of being naked and aroused in front of fully dressed women. That would be the same in both cases. If I had to jerk off, I could drift away into my own world. I would be embarrassed. However, if Mrs. Lion jerked me off and carried on a conversation while doing it, there would be a heightened sense of humiliation because making me come would just be part of a demonstration of how I am sexually treated.

I would feel more like an animal giving a “donation” by being dispassionately milked. Since this has never happened and is unlikely to be something that Mrs. Lion would do, I’ll never find out what it’s like. I can imagine that I would have a hard time getting off if treated this way. I’m sure that eventually I would. What do you think about this sort of treatment?

One comment on “Masturbated, Not Masturbating
  1. chastehubby says:

    When I did masturbate I often had a similar scenario I would fantasize about. Being displayed naked in front of my wife and a friend of hers would arouse the hell out of me….. Now that I live as a caged male the thought of being displayed and made to show my cage to someone at my wifes command is arousing, as well as it would be humiliating. Something that does strike a chord with me in a erotic way.

What do you think?