Fixed

I fixed Lion’s horniness last night. I tied his balls up and got him nice and hard. Unfortunately once I stopped he wasn’t so hard anymore. I guess it’s understandable but he usually has some residual hardness. I was a little bummed because I like when he’s really hard.

I do have more than one gun in my arsenal though. I don’t think he got quite as hard as when he was tied up but that’s okay. I edged him a few more times and then let him come. I didn’t have any idea how long he’d been waiting. [Lion – It was 8 days]  Right now the only problem I see with giving him an orgasm is that it will take him a day or two to recover. No fun with Lion until he’s horny again.

That’s not entirely true. I could still do menthol rubs or pegging. But those aren’t much fun for him when he’s not horny and therefore not much fun for me. I guess you could argue that menthol rubs aren’t ever much fun for him but you know what I mean.

We can still snuggle even if he isn’t horny. That’s always fun and definitely not dependent on Mr. Weenie being in the mood.

When we were done with the night’s festivities Lion asked if I was going to lock him up. The cage has become a big deal to him lately. He wants to be locked up but only if it’s my idea. How can it be my idea if he asks me to lock him up? He doesn’t want to be unlocked unless I want him to be unlocked. I know the cage is on his mind because he’s found a blog by a woman who initiated chastity. It makes being in the cage more exciting at the moment. He wants me to be excited about it too. All I can commit to is to read more of her blog. We’ll take it from there.

9 comments on “Fixed
  1. Her blog is very good. She’s been evolving and it’s neat to watch! I look forward to your take on it.

  2. schnoff says:

    > He wants to be locked up but only if it’s my idea.

    This sounds familiar. That was me with Bear years ago, the whole “Dom me but only if YOU really want it” bit, complete with insecurity over “are you only doing this to please me?” That was not helpful, not in the least.

    I had to learn to let go of those insecurities or that head cinema or that second-guessing, whatever you want to call it. If I’m submissive to Bear, and I am, then I have to trust that he has a reason to do what he does. Whatever that reason is! The reason may be that knows I’ll enjoy it, and he wants to give me something good. Nothing wrong with that! I am his pet, after all, getting treated is perfectly all right. His reasons are his own. As long as I trust that he has a reason for his decisions – and how couldn’t I – it’s all good.

    > How can it be my idea if he asks me to lock him up?

    Good question, and it can be read several ways. In the literal sense, he suggested it, so it’s not your idea. In the less literal sense, are you a team, or is this play adversarial? If you’re a team, it can still be your idea when he’s asking, particularly when he’s asking according to a protocol that you’ve set.

    Lion might kink on the “she is so cruel to me” trope, the adversarial approach. I find that works okay in a set scene, as a role to play, but not so much in a long-term, live-in, D/s as well as marriage setting. There, a team approach is considerably more flexible. Or at least I’m convinced it is :). Raven Kaldera’s “Building the Team” is an excellent book on how to use a team approach to D/s, and how to use your submissive as a resource: That includes him suggesting to lock him up, in whatever form and protocol you want that to happen, and only if you want it to happen.

    For example, in my dynamic, I am to wear a cock ring around the house. It’s more than a toy, it’s taken on quite the symbolism. Bear usually remembers to put it on me. When he doesn’t, I’m to bring it to him as a reminder. That’s the D-type using all the tools at his disposal, and one of those tools is me, the s-type.

    For you, then, the question is: What do you want the basis of the D/s relationship to be? Team-based, or adversarial? And then go from there.

  3. chastehubby says:

    My key holder does not tell me to put my cage on when it has been removed for whatever reason. She just expects it (and panties) at all times. If I don’t put it on it isn’t long before she wants to know why I din’t put it on. But no, she doesn’t have to tell me. It’s just a rule to be followed.

What do you think?