Until a few days ago, I was unaware that a woman would initiate enforced male chastity. My awareness had been limited to male-initiated chastity device wearing. The woman’s role in that is to accommodate the male’s request, generally because she wants to please him. Now that we are hearing from women who want to lock their men up, my perspective is changing.
The difference is subtle, but very significant. The female perspective that Sayyidsgirl has shared turns everything around for me. Her position is very simple. She wants to possess his penis. She wants to be able to take it out when she wants to use it and then put it away again when she is done. The chastity device assures that she and she alone can use it.
There’s no elaborate design to deny his orgasms. That’s a male-centrist view. She doesn’t care about orgasm frequency (sorry if I am putting words in your mouth, Sayyidsgirl). Her interest is playing with her toy when it suits her. Yes, she is aware that for his mental health he may need to ejaculate now and then. But that is simply showing good stewardship for her possession.
If you extend this concept a little, it’s clear that there is no ceremony or elaborate rules surrounding his chastity. There is no need. He gave his penis to her and now she owns it. They may do BDSM play, even switch. But the penis is no longer part of it. That’s her toy exactly the same way a dildo or butt plug is. The toy comes out when desired and gets cleaned and put away when she is done.
From the male perspective, this is depersonalizing sex. Of course she knows that. She knows that by taking physical ownership of his penis, she is exercising major power over him. The more she treats the penis as her toy and refuses to allow him to make it more important, the more power she has. Dildos don’t get to make rules, right? The penis is no different.
I admit it. I like this perspective. Even in our case when Mrs. Lion only uses my penis to tease me and make me ejaculate, the equation still works. Nobody says the penis must be used for female sexual pleasure. It only says that the penis belongs to her and it’s her toy.
I was having trouble understanding why I would need to wear a chastity device when I won’t masturbate, even when wild. The device, as I’ve written, is my kink and wearing it is a chance to practice it. But if Mrs. Lion decides to actually take ownership of my penis, then the cage is necessary. It’s how she stores it safely away for her exclusive use.
If it comes off when Mrs. Lion doesn’t want to use it, in a real sense she is sharing ownership with me. It has nothing to do with what I do when wild. It is like leaving your dog outside unattended. The dog may always stay close and come home, but she can wander if she wants. Our dog is very good about that, but the possibility remains that she could find a fun play partner and run off.
That’s not a great analogy. I’m not in danger of doing that (neither is our dog), but simply knowing I can dilutes the power exchange. Mrs. Lion is uncomfortable with an always-on policy. I think that is less due to her concerns about my comfort than it is about the fact that her view of the device is not about possession, but about pleasing me.
Mrs. Lion isn’t a very possessive woman. She would be very unhappy sharing me. I’m sure of that. But she seems willing to risk a slip if I jerk off. She won’t like it if I do. But then the chastity device is not about me jerking off in either scenario. It isn’t about preventing me from doing something. It’s about permanently removing any access but hers. It’s her property and she doesn’t want anyone’s, even my hands on it.
She’s referred to it as “my weenie”. So I know that she talks possessively. Would taking full, physical ownership feel good to her? I’m not sure it would. Regardless, I will never think of a chastity device the same way.