One of the trickiest areas I’ve faced is separating my fetish/BDSM interests from the FLR with discipline that we practice. I would argue that FLR is a special branch of BDSM. I know that many consider it a lifestyle. That’s correct too. But, at least in my case, the FLR is a consensual power exchange. It’s no different than the consent I would give to a top in a scene.
I realize that our FLR with discipline is 24/7. It certainly doesn’t resemble a classic BDSM situation. The power exchange is real and it reaches into every aspect of my life. But it is still a consensual activity.
I’ve written that once I give consent for enforced chastity and our FLR, I lose the ability to withdraw my consent. That’s simply not true. There’s no chastity police to enforce my agreement. I can refuse to obey Mrs. Lion and I certainly can refuse to let her punish me. That’s fact. This is true of any of us.
Of course, it’s not that simple. My agreement to submit comes with a promise not to unilaterally withdraw consent. We both take our power exchange seriously. Mrs. Lion could stop any time she wants. She doesn’t and I don’t because we agreed this is how we want to live. This agreement isn’t necessarily for life. Circumstances can cause us to change.
In my case, I would never just refuse my consent for anything Mrs. Lion would do to or for me. The reason has nothing to do with dominance or submission. It is our mutual love and respect that is the glue binding me to our power exchange. I am happy to be hers. Her dominance is a service to me. It’s extra work for her. She’s had to learn to do things she never contemplated trying. She never considered beating me, soaping my mouth, as well as the other painful and humiliating activities we have. But because it’s something I want, she’s done it.
This came to mind after reading and responding to a couple of coments by Schnoff. His comments referenced the D/S relationship he has and how he and his dominant communicate inside that paradigm. Mrs. Lion and I follow our power exchange, but we don’t live in particular roles. We don’t use “Yes, Ma’am” and other role artifacts. It’s just how we choose to operate right now. Mrs. Lion could tell me to behave in-role if she wishes. I could request this as well. Neither of us feels that need right now.
That doesn’t mean I don’t obey her. I do. I get punished for infractions. As time goes on, Mrs. Lion is more observant and consistent with me. I don’t get away with much.
Lately, our play has diminished. Both of us have been under the weather. We are getting better. I imagine I will be pegged, plugged, diapered, and pantied in my near future. At least I hope I will. Meanwhile, we are a very happy pair of lions. The power exchange is the whipped cream on our live sundae.
Tomorrow, part two of my reality check, “Decoding Lion”.