A Lasting Impression
As Mrs. Lion wrote, our weekend was interrupted by 13 hours of power outage. It’s been a while since we had an electrical interruption. Since our house is 100% electric, losing power is a big deal. We have a generator powerful enough to keep our refrigerator and freezers going with enough left over for assorted lights and satellite TV. Within about half an hour we had strung out the extension cords and got things we needed running.
Needless to say, this stopped us from playing on Saturday. Sunday found us cleaning up the cords and fixing a leak in the ice maker water line. Apparently moving the refrigerator out to unplug it from the wall and attach it to the generator, loosened a connector to the water line. We clamped the leak off and on Sunday bought new tubing and connectors and fixed it.
Saturday night, Mrs. Lion unlocked me and let me remain wild. She said that the power failure was tiring enough without me having to deal with the cage. I’m grateful for that. I’m writing this Sunday afternoon. I know Mrs. Lion is hurting from our adventures on Saturday. I’m not sure anything other than locking me back up will happen tonight.
It was really good to be with Mrs. Lion last night. Aside from all the work she did to get us going during the blackout, I love her company. We managed to snuggle, hold hands, and enjoy each other’s company despite the challenges. We are completely comfortable with each other. That comfort may have a lot to do with how cautiously we approach FLR with discipline.
It’s no real challenge for us to play. Mrs. Lion knows how much I like it and over the years has learned she can safely go quite far in administering sensation. In fact, all those years of play practice is one reason she is so good at punishing me. She’s not afraid to paddle me as hard and as long as she wants. She’s learned I can take it.
What’s far more challenging is integrating discipline into our relationship. I don’t think either of us had a good idea of what would happen when Mrs. Lion began seriously enforcing her will. Would I just get angry and growl? Would I pull away from her? What would happen to us?
It’s a big test of our trust and love for one another. It’s no big deal to punish me for breaking a rule. In a way, it’s just a different kind of scene. We had negotiated in a sense. There was no real threat to us. If I broke a rule, it didn’t hurt Mrs. Lion. I agreed to the consequences, and accepted them. As I wrote the other day, when it came to punishing me for upsetting her, the deal changed.
I have to admit that I was really angry when she took out her paddle and told me that she was tired of me telling her what she was doing wrong. I felt justified and right. I was being punished for being right! I submitted to her spanking. When she was done, the sun didn’t immediately come out. She was still feeling angry and so was I. Mrs. Lion let the feelings out and let me know she was angry. That was something I told her (and myself) I wanted. Now that it happened, I wasn’t so sure.
It didn’t take long for me to remember that this was exactly what I wanted. I also realized that it didn’t matter if I believed I was in the right. If my actions upset Mrs. Lion, she was going to make me feel her displeasure in a physical way. I have no doubt that if I chose to argue further, her paddle would have come out again. At least, I hope that would have been the result.
I realized that we had crossed a new line. I was being held accountable for upsetting her. I also understood that she took a very big risk when she punished me. Her instinct is to avoid making waves. Spanking me for upsetting her was risky and counterintuitive. For the first time, she decided to confront me and punish me without knowing how I would respond.
I wonder if this is a one-time thing. I also wonder if I hope it is. I suppose that she can measure her success by this reaction. She made an impression on me; one much more powerful than she may realize. I wonder how knowing this will make her feel.