By:
In: Female led relationship with discipline, Lion's Journal

One of the trickiest areas I’ve faced is separating my fetish/BDSM interests from the FLR with discipline that we practice. I would argue that FLR is a special branch of BDSM. I know that many consider it a lifestyle. That’s correct too. But, at least in  my case, the FLR is a consensual power exchange. It’s no different than the consent I would give to a top in a scene.

I realize that our FLR with discipline is 24/7. It certainly doesn’t resemble a classic BDSM situation. The power exchange is real and it reaches into every aspect of my life. But it is still a consensual activity.

I’ve written that once I give consent for enforced chastity and our FLR, I lose the ability to withdraw my consent. That’s simply not true. There’s no chastity police to enforce my agreement. I can refuse to obey Mrs. Lion and I certainly can refuse to let her punish me. That’s fact. This is true of any of us.

Of course, it’s not that simple. My agreement to submit comes with a promise not to unilaterally withdraw consent. We both take our power exchange seriously. Mrs. Lion could stop any time she wants. She doesn’t and I don’t because we agreed this is how we want to live. This agreement isn’t necessarily for life. Circumstances can cause us to change.

In my case, I would never just refuse my consent for anything Mrs. Lion would do to or for me. The reason has nothing to do with dominance or submission. It is our mutual love and respect that is the glue binding me to our power exchange. I am happy to be hers. Her dominance is a service to me. It’s extra work for her. She’s had to learn to do things she never contemplated trying. She never considered beating me, soaping my mouth, as well as the other painful and humiliating activities we have. But because it’s something I want, she’s done it.

This came to mind after reading and responding to a couple of coments by Schnoff. His comments referenced the D/S relationship he has and how he and his dominant communicate inside that paradigm. Mrs. Lion and I follow our power exchange, but we don’t live in particular roles. We don’t use “Yes, Ma’am” and other role artifacts. It’s just how we choose to operate right now. Mrs. Lion could tell me to behave in-role if she wishes. I could request this as well. Neither of us feels that need right now.

That doesn’t mean I don’t obey her. I do. I get punished for infractions. As time goes on, Mrs. Lion is more observant and consistent with me. I don’t get away with much.

Lately, our play has diminished. Both of us have been under the weather. We are getting better. I imagine I will be pegged, plugged, diapered, and pantied in my near future. At least I hope I will. Meanwhile, we are a very happy pair of lions. The power exchange is the whipped cream on our live sundae.

Tomorrow, part two of my reality check, “Decoding Lion”.

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments, Punishment, Spanking
spanking lion with paddle tramp paddle
Lion is modelling the Paddle Tramp paddle we keep in the kitchen. It’s a perfect size and packs a very big wallop. Click image for larger view.

I thought about spanking Lion last night before I took my shower but I decided I always do it afterwards. Then I forgot. It wasn’t until I was edging him that I remembered his punishment. Obviously I couldn’t do it then so I had to wait. The next time I thought about it was in the kitchen so I grabbed the kitchen paddle.

Lion asked if I was sure I wanted to do it there. Was he questioning me? No. Admittedly, he didn’t get as hard a spanking as he would have gotten in the bedroom but his cheeks still got pink. And if he thinks he got away with anything I can always give him more swats just for the hell of it.

I don’t think I was any more aware of him interrupting yesterday simply because he’d mentioned it in a post the other day. Maybe I’d been letting him slide but yesterday it annoyed me more. Whatever it was he seems to be on his best behavior again. Today he asked for permission to go out to dinner tonight. He usually just asks if I want to go out. Today he said, “May we go out to dinner tonight?” It reminded me of the Mother May I? game we used to play in grade school. He’s certainly minding his manners. Good boy! I guess even a light punishment has an effect.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Living with a female led relationship, Male Chastity

Last night, punishment night, earned its name. As Mrs. Lion promised in her post, I was spanked. Details will be in her post later today. I’m writing this before actually being punished. Punishment time is usually after dinner and we’ve both had our showers. She often says that my butt is more tender after a nice, hot shower. I’m sure she’s right. For the record, I didn’t interrupt to get punished. I suspect that after my post yesterday, she became more aware of my bad habit.

Apparently, I’m going back to wearing the Jail Bird full time. Now that lock up is inevitable, I will enjoy my waning hours being wild. I truly have a love-hate relationship with wearing a chastity device. On one hand, it is arousing to be locked up. The feelings that inspired me to ask Mrs. Lion to start all this, remain. They’re not as strong, but they’re there.

On the other hand, it’s very convenient and comfortable to be wild. I can pee standing up. I can feel erections now and then. I’m not too worried about discovery. But when wild, there is absolutely no issue.

I’m equally ambivalent about our FLR with discipline. I think it is the right thing for us, but there are times I don’t like it. Those times often come when I am told to roll over to get spanked. I may not be in the mood to be spanked. Ahh! Not in the mood, am I? I see the obvious silliness with that. But at moments when my role is inconvenient or too painful, I wonder what I got myself into.

I used to have those moments with enforced chastity too. There were plenty of times I really hated having that cage locked on. Over time, those moments became less and less frequent. Once I’m settled in again, it will just be there. Dealing with the inconveniences of wearing a chastity device will just be part of my life.

Many years ago when my pubic hair was first removed, I was extremely self conscious about not having hair. When I had an appointment with a doctor who needed me undressed,  I would make it far enough in advance so that I could grow the hair back. Then, after the appointment. I would remove it again.

After a while, I didn’t care as much. I had laser hair removal and growing it back was no longer an option.  I had some twinges now and then, but by and large I stopped worrying. Of course, I had no choice. The hair is gone for good. Having no choice made it easier to stop worrying about how people would react. I was unable to do anything to change it.

This same logic holds true for being caged. When it’s clear that the cage is locked on and will remain on, there is no point in complaining about inconveniences or possible discovery. Like the removal of my pubic hair. It’s done. Period. No more wild lions here.

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments, Punishment

I’m not sure if Lion was horny last night. We snuggled a bit and I tried to get him hard. He didn’t respond. It’s not a crisis. He probably just wasn’t in the mood. Odd, I know, but it does happen from time to time. I’m a little surprised because he was horny the night before. No big deal. Stuff happens.

I’ve pretty much decided that Lion will be back in his cage full time again in the near future. I won’t tell him when because I want him to stop asking me about it. Of course I know he can now tell me I said I’ll lock him up but when? Is it time yet? How about now? Now? And then one of two things will happen: I can immediately lock him up or I can tell him he blew it and he won’t be locked up. Actually, a third thing can happen. I can beat his butt till he can’t sit down. (And don’t push me until I choose that option, Lion. Right now you owe me for interrupting a few times today.)

I don’t expect Lion to be an angel when I lock him up but I’m also expecting him to not complain (too much) about the cage being back on. I know he likes it better when he’s unlocked. I know it pinches sometimes. I know he’ll miss being able to get hard. But why would he want the cage back on? I don’t often try to understand him anymore. I just give him what he wants, within reason.

Lion is enjoying his last hours, maybe days, of freedom. When I do lock him up it will be up to me when I unlock him and for how long. I do ask that he remind me if it seems I’ve forgotten to lock him up again. I tend to forget things; a lot. At some point I may want to give him time off for good behavior. I’ll decide when and for how long. I’ll decide if he is caged or not for business trips and camping trips. I’ll decide where the key is kept. I’ll take his emergency key away when I lock him up this time. If he gets himself into a situation where he needs that emergency key but he no longer has it, I reserve the right to point and laugh at him while singing, “I told you so. I told you so.” And then I get to punish him as I see fit. Assuming, of course, that the reason he needed to key is not a serious illness or injury.

Those are my plans as of now. If Lion wants to talk me out of locking him up, he has until bedtime Friday to do so. That does not mean the cage will go on at that time. It will go on when I say it will go on unless he persuades me otherwise by the deadline.