One of the most challenging aspects of a power exchange is maintaining the sense of dominance and submission over time. Even the most extreme requirements become routine eventually. For example, over ten years ago, Mrs. Lion established the rule that I have to be naked when at home (or anywhere else) when no one other than she is around. This applies to business trips, vacations, etc.
OK, fair enough. This rule is a clear expression of my submission. For a long time it made me feel more exposed and vulnerable. Now, many years later, it’s just a fact of my everyday life. Similarly, permanent removal of my pubic hair provides a constant reminder of my status. I find it sexy and I like how it looks and feels. But it doesn’t make me feel particularly submissive. Perhaps it shouldn’t.
To an outside observer, these changes indicate the depth of our power exchange and might be arousing to think about. I haven’t forgotten why I’m this way. So, in that sense they remain powerful. But they aren’t particularly arousing to either of us.
That’s where the trap lies. Do I need more to stoke the fires of my erotic fantasies? Must Mrs. Lion find new ways to let me experience her power? No, not at all. It’s a rookie mistake to expect penis-pulsing heat from the friction of submission. The heat, while exciting, is also wearing and will erode the power exchange.
To really work, the opposite is necessary. There needs to be almost no friction. Break a rule, roll over, get punished. No fuss, no muss, no noise other than the yelps of pain. It’s automatic and accepted. There is no emotional energy required. No sexual fantasy involving ritual, costume, or resistance is needed. Obedience is expected. Infractions are punished painfully and are accepted as part of my ongoing educational process.
It doesn’t have to be hot. That’s something you can sustain for a lifetime.
I’ve noticed some other changes. These aren’t currency of Mrs. Lion’s power. They are the result of the consistent way we do things. For example, sex is always with me on my back. Even intercourse has me on the bottom. Mrs. Lion and I prefer the cowgirl or reverse cowgirl positions. She edges me while I’m on my back, legs spread. Oral sex has me on my back, legs spread, knees up. The only time my legs are together is during vaginal intercourse, which is very rare for us. To be clear, Mrs. Lion didn’t tell me to assume these positions. They just happen to facilitate the activities being performed.
As a result, I’ve lost the ability to sustain an erection unless I am on my back. I’m conditioned to associate sex with this position. Even when I’m allowed to buck — Bucking is when Mrs. Lion holds my penis but doesn’t move her hand. I’m allowed to hump her hand — I’m on my back. I love doing this. I would like to buck much more often.
This conditioning wasn’t planned. It just happened. I discovered this change a few years ago when Mrs. Lion wanted me to mount her. I was hard and ready. I managed to penetrate her, but then lost my erection. We tried a few more times with the same result. Finally, I was on my back and she was riding me. My erection remained firm until I ejaculated. After that, we both accepted that I had to be on my back in order to remain hard.
Some might consider this a very strong sexual sign of submission. Objectively, I suppose it is. But neither of us think about it this way. I imagine that I can be trained to operate in other positions, but I doubt Mrs. Lion will want that. On my back is convenient for what we do.