The other day as I was watching TV and some soap opera-y love scene was happening, I realized that Lion and I never have passionate sex. We don’t spend a lot of time kissing or urgently tearing each other’s clothes off. We never have. And Lion rarely wears clothes anymore anyway. But it made me wonder if maybe that’s what I’m missing. Somewhere in the back of my mind am I waiting for the sappy romance book love scene and since none has been forthcoming maybe that’s why I don’t care about sex? Do I need Lion to ravage me? I didn’t say anything to Lion about it because I’m not sure it’s actually the problem.
Ironically, Lion just wrote about our sex life being mostly him on the bottom. Physically as well as mentally, for lack of a better word. In every aspect of sex, he’s on his back. He is the recipient. I do for him.
Again, I don’t know if that has anything to do with my not wanting sex. It could be just an artifact of that. Lion doesn’t do anything for me because I don’t want him to. I do things for Lion, in part, because he does.
We’ve tried different things in the past. I was supposed to “order” Lion to give me sex. That didn’t work very well. First, I’m not one to order anyone to do anything. Second, if I don’t want sex why would I want to order someone to do it? another idea was to schedule it like punishment day. No good either. We’ve tried Lion initiating with me not being “allowed” to reject him. I even masturbated in front of him. That wasn’t awkward at all. (sarcasm)
It might be an idea worth trying. It’s not like we don’t snuggle and do some kissing already. We just don’t go at it like a couple of horny teenagers in the back seat (in the 50s). Of course, we both need to get rid of our damn colds that seem to be hanging on. We’ll get to it eventually.