It’s Just Who We Are Now
Monday night Mrs. Lion asked me if I was horny. I had an orgasm on Sunday, so she was fairly sure that I probably wasn’t. I couldn’t honestly answer. She’s had me locked in the nylon cage at all times except when she wanted access. After I came on Sunday, she let me shower without the cage. Then it went on until Monday’s session.
She got out the Box O’Fun and had me pick an activity. (I can’t see what I am picking). My pick turned out to be for a spanking. Too bad. She had just finished a maintenance spanking. I went fishing in the box again. This time I picked Velcro ties. Uh oh. Mrs. Lion can’t find them. We gave up for the night.
When she unlocked me, it didn’t take much for me to get hard. She edged me several times, paused, and edged me more. As soon as I got soft, the cage went back on. More than ever, I’m convinced that the main benefit for me is that only her hands can touch my penis. The cage effectively isolates it. I think that helps make me more responsive.
The boner pills don’t hurt the situation. Their primary benefit for me is that they let me get much harder and keep me hard much longer than before using them. This makes total sense. They allow easier, increased blood flow to the penis. This additional flow accounts for this most enjoyable improvement.
My spanking was the first in months. Between recovering from the flu and surgery, Mrs. Lion has been more forgiving. I’m also very aware of my rules and work hard to obey them. I admit that I’ve missed being spanked. Even though Monday’s spanking was not punishment and was considerably more gentle than usual, it didn’t take long for me to remember why I’m so careful about my obedience. I was yelping pitifully in no time.
I’ve never been a fan of so-called maintenance spankings. They feel more like a BDSM scene than part of our FLRD. I may be wrong. I think I benefited from the swats on Monday night. They reminded me of Mrs. Lion’s power. I know she doesn’t agree, but it might have left even more of an impression if it was the same intensity as a punishment spanking.
On the other hand, now that I am better, Mrs. Lion can go back to stricter controls. This will certainly result in real spankings and other punishments. Maybe I should shut up and be grateful it wasn’t worse on Monday.
Speaking just for myself, I think that there has to be little distance between punishment sessions. This isn’t part of my BDSM desire for play. It seems that I easily forget my place. I suspect Mrs. Lion forgets hers too. Part of getting back to normal for both of us requires reinforcement of our roles.
Part of this is my need for these activities. Another part is that we are still too new at FLRD to relax and just let things flow. We quickly revert to our old selves. Every time I’m punished, we are both reminded of our new world.
It seems that in our case, the routinization of discipline acts as a catalyst that keeps the chemical reaction of our power exchange flowing. It’s just what works for us. When Mrs. Lion refers to “getting back to normal,” she’s usually referring to our play and teasing. But I think it is more than that. It’s hard for me to admit, but I need her active authority for things to feel normal for me.
We’ve come a long way. We understand what we have to do to make all this work. We learned that I need to wear a chastity device all the time. The reason has nothing to do with preventing me from unauthorized activities. It’s more subtle. I’m not sure I understand what it is, but we clearly need it.
The same is true of a disciplinary relationship. I need her strict enforcement. I suspect she needs to punish me; not because she wants to hurt me, but like the chastity device, the activity is a necessary component of what we consider a balanced relationship.
It’s way too easy to try to explain why any of this is true. As you know, I love trying. But I also realize that I have no real idea why enforced chastity and discipline are so important for us to feel that things are in balance. I’m not complaining. I like how it feels when we have that balance.