Month: April 2018 (Page 2)

Lion spends a lot of time thinking about the cage. It makes sense. It’s attached to him. I don’t and that makes sense too. It’s not attached to me. It doesn’t pinch me. It doesn’t keep me from getting erections. I don’t have to stop and adjust things when I pee.

A few months ago, Lion asked if I thought he should be locked up again. He’d been free range for a long time because of his shoulder surgery and then there didn’t really seem to be any need for the cage anymore. Clearly Lion wanted it back on but he wanted me to want it back on.

When we first started enforced chastity it made sense for Lion to be in a cage. The need for the cage had nothing to do with his wandering eye or possibility of cheating. I never realized it but he’d been masturbating because I hadn’t been giving him enough sexual attention. If he’d wanted to cheat he would have then. Instead of betraying me with another woman he betrayed me with his hand. Now I’m not 100% equating that with cheating with another woman but it did seem like cheating on some level.

Lion was locked up as an experiment, but also to make sure he couldn’t masturbate and to make sure I understood he needed me to pay more attention to him. I couldn’t just throw up my hands and tell him to take care of himself because he couldn’t. He was trapped and I had the key.

Fast forward a few years and there is very little danger Lion will masturbate. He knows his penis belongs to me. Technically he doesn’t need the cage to keep his hands to himself. So why put the cage back on?

That’s a difficult question to answer. When Lion said he wanted the cage back on but only if I wanted it back on, it would have been very easy for me to say we’re doing it because I say so. I could have gone along with the game and come up with an elaborate reason for him to be locked up again. Yes, I want the cage on because he wants it on, but there’s more to it than just that. Neither of us seem to be able to put it into words, but the cage is still necessary. Not for any physical reason like cheating or masturbating. There’s a deeper meaning to it. Maybe part of it is fear that we’ll go back to the bad old days. Maybe part of it is ownership. Maybe part of it is a deeper bond between us. I told you it was difficult to put into words.

For the past few months, Lion has either been sick or injured and the cage came off to make things easier. About a week ago I locked him up in the nylon cage to see if he could wear it for extended periods of time. The other night we switched back to the Jail Bird. As comfortable as the Jail Bird is, Lion always laments going back into the cage. It does require extra thought when peeing. It does pinch now and then. He can’t get an erection. He can’t reach down to feel my weenie. But when the cage is off he misses it after a while. (I was just thinking it was like my bra. As soon as I can take it off I do, but I’m not sure there would ever be a case in which I’d miss it.)

I guess the cage is like spanking. Lion wants it when he doesn’t get it and then he’s sorry he got it. Good thing I’m around to make sure he gets what he needs.

Mrs. Lion gave me an orgasm on Thursday night. I had to pay for it first. She put two generous applications of Icy Hot on my balls. When the first one was wearing off, she applied the second. Mercifully, she was teasing me the entire time. Sexual arousal masks a lot of pain for me. All that Icy Hot burned even with the arousal. The big surprise was a happy ending. Mrs. Lion gave me a nice orgasm. This one came just four days after the last.

When the play was over, Mrs. Lion let me wash off and then locked me up in the Jail Bird. It’s much more comfortable than the nylon cage. I spent a full week in it and it proved to be practical for travel. There’s no question that the Jail Bird is much more comfortable, but the nylon cage is acceptable for 24/7 wear. The bad smell I noticed on my first test didn’t reappear. I could easily shower and keep myself and the device clean.

Of all the devices I’ve worn, the Jail Bird, by Mature Metal, is absolutely the most comfortable. Mature Metal’s customer service is wonderful. Buying the custom 3D-printed nylon cage wasn’t easy. The maker was not very responsive. I wouldn’t do business with them again.

As Mark pointed out in a comment the other day,

“It’s clear, I think: Lion is happier with the cage on – maybe a lot – and he hopes that you are too…”

I am. And I hope Mrs. Lion is happier with me locked up as well; though that isn’t strictly necessary. If she feels that keeping me in a chastity device is good for me and for our relationship, that’s a very good reason to keep me locked up.

Wearing the 3D-printed, nylon cage is the first change I’ve made in over four years. The Jail Bird and I are very good friends. It isn’t that I don’t get pinched when driving or at odd moments at work. The Jail Bird isn’t perfect. So far it’s the best I’ve tried. The nylon cage is good enough for travel. I could handle wearing it full time. But if I have to be in a chastity device, I’m glad to back in the Jail Bird.

Last night didn’t start out very well. Our power went out a little after 4. Lion called me to come home and help with the generator. Unfortunately, several traffic lights were out and I realized this was more of a widespread outage than I thought. Lion was able to get the generator going and run the power cords without too much trouble anyway.

While we sat there watching TV, Lion said he hoped the power outage didn’t screw up our plans for the evening. I was more concerned with whether or not we’d be able to take showers, having to put more gas in the generator at some point and running around unplugging everything that was plugged into the generator when/if the power came back on but, sure, our plans should have been on my mind. I know Lion and I have different priorities for sex but that seemed a little out of place on the list of things to worry about last night.

In all, the power was out for about three hours. Not bad for one of our outages. They’ve been known to go on for days in big storms. We were able to take our showers at a reasonable hour and we had plenty of time for fun. Lion had generously put the roll-on Icy Hot next to the tube I’d left near the sink.

I put on a glove before I set to work with the Icy Hot. I didn’t want to get any on my hands to transfer to my weenie. I only wanted the balls to be on fire. I squirted a fairly liberal amount and rubbed it in. In the past I’ve just done a little racing stripe. As hot as it is, I knew Lion could take more. I put a wash cloth over his balls to protect my weenie. If I had thought about it ahead of time I could have used a hot wash cloth to make things worse. Live and learn.

As I played with my weenie, I rubbed the boys through the wash cloth. Not only was the dry wash cloth scratching around the hot spots but I was also rubbing the Icy Hot in further. Lion was not a fan of this. He was grimacing a lot. And then I decided if I couldn’t get him to the edge, obviously it was because he needed more Icy Hot. I squirted another liberal set of gobs on his balls. Insult to injury.

However, at some level he must have liked it because soon he was bucking into my hand. I didn’t want him to come so I let go. Then I decided he should get an orgasm for withstanding the Icy Hot. I was pretty mean with it. But then it was difficult to get him back to the bucking stage. Eventually he got there and had a very slow and (I hope) enjoyable orgasm.

I’m a nice mean person.

I’ve resolved to be a lot less analytical about our power exchange. You can help to keep me honest.

Mrs. Lion tends to use punishments to correct explicit rules I have. Almost all of them cover behaviors that don’t cause Mrs. Lion any great upset if I break them.

For example, I’m punished if I spill food on myself. Similarly, I feel it if I eat before Mrs. Lion starts unless I have permission. Neither of these offensive are distressing to her. They’re things she wants me to learn. The result of her corrections is that I try to obey those rules. As a result, I’m punished infrequently.

But then there is a rule that causes Mrs. Lion distress when I break it. That’s when I interrupt her. Oddly, I have only been punished for doing this a couple of times. I know she hates it when it happens.

This brings to mind two questions: Would spanking me every time I interrupt change my behavior? Is it difficult to punish me for offenses that actually mean something to Mrs. Lion?

Based on our limited experience with punishing for being sloppy or eating first, it appears I do learn to correct the behavior; at least for a while. I tend to slip a bit after a month or two. One painful spanking renews my attention for another period of time.

The second question is much more difficult. I know that Mrs. Lion believes she should never punish while angry. That could postpone reacting to me interrupting her. By the time she’s cooled down, she may decide it just isn’t worth bringing up again. She also may have an issue with punishing me for doing something she doesn’t like.

Spanking me for spilling is more like a game. We agreed that would be an offense that would earn me punishment. But spanking me for interrupting? There’s a subtle issue here. The first, I think, is that interrupting is a real marital issue. It causes her distress. Does she believe she has the right to hurt me because I upset her?

Spanking me for interrupting is teaching me to be more aware and considerate of her feelings. Without a doubt that’s a very good thing for me to improve. But to do it, she has to believe she has the right to shape my behavior to make her happier. We’re out of the play zone.

I suspect that this isn’t unique to us. Our disciplinary relationship is a consensual and closely resembles the BDSM play we did before our FLRD. In my mind, the most significant difference between a spanking scene and punishment is the context. A BDSM scene isn’t based on punishing the bottom for upsetting the top. As a top, the last thing I would do would be to spank someone who was upsetting me.

However, in a disciplinary relationship, one of the best reasons to spank me would be when I upset my lioness. But to do this she has to feel entitled to punish me and feel that she has the right to demand I treat her as she wishes. No scene. No games. Just correction for unacceptable behavior.

This is a huge step for any couple. Mrs. Lion has to trust that I will accept real correction. She has to know that I won’t get angry at her. I have to recognize that her authority transcends the arbitrary rules I follow. We both have to understand that I will be punished until I learn to change my ways.

Given that I’m a pretty stubborn critter and very strong willed, it takes a lot to get me to change. It may feel like less trouble to just overlook when I interrupt, for example, than to risk the potential problems that disciplining me when I am not “playing the game” can cause.

One reason why my frequent punishments for the arbitrary rules are so helpful is that both of us are learning that we are secure in our roles. No matter how I feel about the situation, I will present myself for punishment. Mrs. Lion knows this. But knowing and acting are very different. I think that this hurdle is the most difficult one we have to overcome. I want Mrs. Lion to punish me when I do things she doesn’t like. I want her to do it even if I vehemently disagree and feel she is being unfair. Ultimately, I will become a better husband and person if she does this.