I’m told I’m a sex blogger. That strikes me as ironic, since most of this blog is about frustrating me sexually. Wouldn’t that make me an anti-sex blogger?
Because we both write extensively about our sex life, does that mean sex is the central focus of our marriage?
One of our readers commented that sex and, by extension, kink is the center of a marriage. He’s certain that our marriage is rooted in our Female Led Relationship with Discipline (FLRD) and enforced chastity. Apparently, because we are kinky in these ways, we can’t be considered a typical couple.
I’ve been living with Mrs. Lion for 15 years (131,400 hours). How many of those hours were spent on sex and kink? If we want to be extremely generous, an hour a day would be the most. That adds up to 5,475 hours or 4% of our time together. In reality I’m very sure the actual time we’ve spent on things sexual is less than half of that.
The point is that over 95% of our time is spent in non-sexual activities. There’s no way such a small percentage of our time would be the central factor in marital success. We’ve gone for long periods of time without kink or interactive sex. We remained happily married despite that.
I won’t argue that things are better now that we have our power exchange integrated into our lives. It works very well for us. But if sex went away tomorrow, we’d stay together. I’m positive of that.
One of the big risks when reading a blog like ours is to assume that you are getting a 360-degree view of our relationship. Given that we each post daily, I’d guess we spend more time blogging about sex than actually having it. Does that make blogging the center of our marriage?
When you yearn for something, like FLRD or enforced chastity, it can feel like it is the key to happiness and marital bliss. I get it. I’ve fantasized about all this stuff for most of my life. I’ve even made the terrible mistake of seeking a relationship with someone whose prime reference was her interest in topping me. That didn’t last. That sort of relationship rarely lasts more than 18 months.
I had no such goals when I dated Mrs. Lion. I fell in love with her, not what she can do to me. I love spending time with her that has nothing to do with sex or power exchange. She’s my best friend and mate. The fact she spanks my butt and does all that other stuff to me is a bonus. In no way is it even close to the center of who we are.