I was out shopping for dorm room things with my daughter and we were talking about her father and how things worked out (or didn’t work out) between us. I was just about to tell her how upset Lion got one time I decided to visit them when they were in Oregon on an RV trip, and a thought occurred to me: did I decide to lock Lion up while I was away to keep him from being insecure about my seeing my ex?
Yikes! It certainly wasn’t a conscious reason. It’s kind of a fucked up reason even if it was buried deep in the back of my brain. But why would that thought pop up? And why would I think Lion wouldn’t be insecure if he was locked up?
Maybe I’m desperate to figure out a reason for locking him up. Maybe Lion has asked enough times that I think I need to give him an answer. Maybe I’ve given him the only answer I have to give him: he likes to be locked up and asking for pictures of the lock was a way to let him know I’d be thinking about him while I’m away.
I don’t know why that thought popped into my head. It certainly was not the reason for him to be locked up. Maybe I was thinking my ex should be locked up – in a mental institution. Let’s just say that I will be absolutely ready to leave here on Sunday and get back to Lion.