My Backstory

A little personal history is in order, I think. Before meeting Mrs. Lion, I was in a Master/slave relationship. It was the first explicitly BDSM relationship I ever had. It was “arranged”. Some of my friends wanted me to meet and then “own” a woman who was a service slave. She had been living in that role for years. She was in her mid-thirties, very pretty, and utterly committed to being owned.

I knew full well how badly things seem to go in relationships formed around a power exchange. I was overwhelmed by the chance to have a 24/7 slave who was dedicated to my happiness. She was 35 years old, a former runway model. She had, in fact starred in some spanking porn (Red Board films, I think). She was the real deal.

The reason I was asked to take her is that I have a reputation as an ethical top. I always respect the women I beat and played with. They loved it. It was good exercise for me. So, the slave moved in to my house. She cleaned and cooked and gave me any sex I wanted. She wanted a distant, demanding master who would treat her like furniture. You know, the fairytale slavegirl fantasies. It didn’t take long before we developed real feelings for one another. Neither of us knew how to integrate love into a strict master/slave relationship. We did our best.

We lasted ten years. That’s a record in the BDSM community. Over the latter years she became more and more unhappy. I wasn’t the demanding, inspect-every-surface-for-dust master she imagined. Micro managing a slave pretty well kills a guys life. I was unwilling to do it. She got angry and resentful. Her neurosis leaked out more and more. We weren’t happy.

At the end, we drifted apart and the house was a mess. In the end, she met a Mexican waiter at some feely touchy weekend who said the right things to her. She asked me to release her. Oh boy! I was happy to do it.

There were lots of very good things about us as a couple. We did represent opposite ends of the D/S spectrum. She worshiped me and I adored her as my most prized possession. With all that, there was a single word missing that ultimately ended it for us. She could never say “we”. Everything was Mine or Yours. She couldn’t work joint ownership. I hated that.

During the last few weeks of her residence with me, I met Mrs. Lion. I wished for a woman who would bring love and tranquility. I wanted a smooth, loving relationship. I had enough living in a tornado. The Goddess heard me and sent Mrs. Lion. On the first date she talked about things that were ours and the word “we” was ever present in her vocabulary. She was and is perfect for me.

You may be wondering how a 24/7 master morphs into a guy in a Female Led Relationship with Discipline (FLRD). That’s got to be the polar opposite of my former life. Surprisingly, it isn’t. For one thing, I’m not submissive. I’m trained (conditioned). I still growl and very often make the decisions for us. My obedience and submission is in a very narrow sexual area. It’s what we’re comfortable with right now.

I fully expect that Mrs. Lion, no 2.0,  will raise the ante. She’s already done it with play. She now uses painful clothespins on my balls and she picks the spots she knows really hurt me. Oddly, I love she is doing that. I love when she plays for real.

Unlike my master slave relationship, ours isn’t obsessed with consuming every bit of our energy. It’s been slowly integrating into our very happy marriage. We don’t move at lightning speed. But we do move alone. I wouldn’t be surprised if I end up on the punishment stool and picking cards out of the “Box’O Fun.

We’re celebrating our 13th wedding anniversary this summer and our 15th year together. We are stuck with one another and we love it. Whatever we’re doing works! YaaaY

3 comments on “My Backstory
  1. Wow. This was really interesting. I nice peek into the past. Thank you for sharing.

  2. mrbillsails says:

    This is a great recap of how it started for you. This is something I am always very curious about in this type of relationship. The great part is that it works and you love it!
    We have been married for 31 years, with a FLR for certain aspects developing over the past 3 to 5 years. She is in control of my orgasms and sex, she whips me when she wants to. I don’t really get disciplined, even though I would be happy for her to do that.
    The FLR is only an occasional perk of our relationship, but I love it and only wish that we had discovered this years ago.

What do you think?