Last night we didn’t play. Well, we attempted to but it was late. Lion took the opportunity to remind me that I talk a good game in my posts but don’t follow through. I could say it was all because of one night when we didn’t play but I know it’s not just one night. Lion has suggested that the cage will help us. I’ve been leaving him wild because it’s easier for both of us. I don’t have to lock and unlock him and he doesn’t need to worry about alignment when he pees.

I promised him tonight we’ll play earlier and I’ll lock him in the Jail Bird when I’m done with him. We’ll see if the cage makes me think about playing with him any more than I do without the cage. Lion has already suggested that maybe I don’t really want to play with him at all. He thinks this from time to time. It’s part of his insecurities, but I always take it as a criticism of my not doing things well enough.

We’re having company this weekend and he’s been on the verge of panic about how much cleaning we need to do to get the house ready. First of all, it’s nowhere near the amount of cleaning as when my son was here some months ago. Secondly, it’s nowhere near the amount of cleaning as when my friend came for Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner. Most of the cleaning has to be done by me since it involves stirring up dust. However, there is a certain amount of cleaning that can be done by either of us. I spent a few minutes this morning doing some of the latter.

Lion always wants to talk about things but he tends to wait until bedtime. I’m on the way to snoozeville and, since I take these things as criticism, I don’t want to get into an argument when I’m trying to get ready to fall asleep. All I can do is promise to do better and (hopefully) follow through. Tonight we will play and I will lock him up. I’ll probably do some cleaning as well. What will happen Wednesday night? I’ll unlock him and we’ll play. Rinse and repeat. I want to get back in a rhythm but I don’t see one night as a huge setback.

We’re also getting ready to go on a trip next week. Will Lion be caged for the trip? Traditionally he has not been. It’s easier in the RV if he isn’t. Will he want to be? I don’t know. He’ll probably say it’s up to me. If it’s up to me I say no. However, the Box O’Fun will be coming with us. He’ll select something each night. The only way he’ll get out of the selection is if it’s a repeat of the previous night or if we don’t have the correct tools for the job. Lucky (or unlucky depending on your point of view) for Lion, I have most of the same implements in the RV as I do at home.

large dildo
Rodeoh Adam Confused Rainbow dildo. This is a massive 1-7/8″ diameter, 8-inch long dildo. Click image to visit site.

As I predicted and Mrs. Lion proved (post), a painful spanking revives my libido and increases my semen production. When I’m horny, I tend to be curious. I wonder how various things might feel. For example, I received a newsletter from Rodeoh, a company that makes and sells panties designed to hold a strap-on dildo firmly in place. Mrs. Lion has one for pegging me. This particular newsletter featured some brightly-colored dildos. We already have one rainbow model that is 1-3/4 inches in diameter and about seven inches long. We haven’t tried it yet.

This newsletter pointed me to a page that, among others, features a 1-7/8 inch dia. model they call the Adam. Aside from looking cool, it made me wonder how long it would take for me to learn to accept it. Last time we did anal play, I managed to take a 1-3/4 inch dildo (not the new one). I’ve yet to learn to be able to take a true pegging. So, it makes very little sense for me to imagine taking an even larger model. But because I’m horny, I do, It’s expensive and I didn’t consider ordering it, but…

We haven’t done anal play in a long time. I don’t particularly like things up my ass. Of course, that’s not the point. I’m not unhappy that we have been neglecting my asshole. Then, why did I find the Adam so interesting?

That’s something I don’t understand. I’m not being coy and suggesting we get this and stick it up my ass. The idea of doing it is very hot to me. Maybe it’s like spanking or putting clothespins on the head of my penis; the idea is exciting, the reality is painful and unpleasant.

If I were a masochist, I would crave pain and get aroused when it is provided. I don’t. But I need this pain nonetheless. My theory is that it’s about control. I am clearly not in control when a large, silicone penis is fucking me. The same is true when my bottom is burning and the paddle keeps hitting me.

We’ve just proven once again that my sex drive fades unless painful reminders I’m not in control are administered. I’ve always known that it’s arousing to think of being spanked or pegged, but miserable when it happens. This is probably part of the appeal of wearing a chastity device. It locks my penis away from me. It’s a very hot idea. Actually wearing the device can be inconvenient and frustrating. When I wear it I am constantly reminded that I’ve surrendered all control of my penis. That’s a hot idea, but still frustrating and inconvenient.

I think I’ve always been this way. I’m wired to need to lose control in order to get aroused. It’s part of who I am. I’m lucky that Mrs. Lion understands all this and is willing to put up with me.

The other day when I punished Lion I sort of threatened him with the punishment stool in the corner. I was thinking about bringing it upstairs to use it but we’re getting ready for out-of-town guests and I don’t really want to drag it upstairs only to have to drag it back downstairs in a few days. So then I wondered what effect Icy Hot would have on rosy cheeks.

It may not have as much of an effect as I hope, but it might be worth a shot just to see. On the other hand, it might make an already hot tushy even hotter. If it does amplify it, I hope it lasts a long time.

Lion and I are having an interesting discussion via email. Today is punishment day. He needs to tell me by 8:30 pm. Normally he tells me fairly early in the day. This morning he said there was nothing much going on. No mention of punishment day. No problem. He has plenty of time.

A few emails later he writes, “It’s punishment day.” I told him he was a good boy for reminding me and said I wasn’t sure if he’d remember. He said he was toying with the idea of “forgetting” to tell me. That’s a slippery slope. If I have any reason to think he’s forgotten on purpose, the punishment would be more severe. He has no idea what I’ll come up with. He said he’s curious to find out.

Theoretically, he should be punished for this impertinence. Of course, this is just what he wants. So punishing him plays right into his hands. But not punishing him sends a different message. The key is, I think, to punish him with something he will not like at all. Or a combination of things he won’t like. I definitely need to curb this willful behavior.

Is the Icy Hot on a swatted butt the answer? Maybe Icy Hot on the butt and some time on the punishment stool. Or Icy Hot on his balls and some time on the punishment stool. I already know his balls will be on fire, and the scratchiness of the welcome mat on the punishment stool will be torture.

Maybe I should pick up some raisins on the way home. Lion hates raisins. One or two of them might do the trick. The problem is that no matter what I do to him, he’ll probably enjoy it. Certainly not while it’s happening, but I bet Mr. Weenie will be happy.

A tourist is visiting New York City and asks a native, “How do I get to Carnegie Hall?” The native answers, “Practice, practice, practice.”

There are things we have done that require consistent practice. The most obvious example is anal play. Just because I could manage a dildo 1-3/4 inches in diameter a couple of months ago, doesn’t mean I can handle it now. If, on the other hand, I am penetrated one or two times a week, my ability to take insertables increases as my body learns to accept larger items.

I think this is true for all sensation play. Spanking is similar. While, it’s true that I can never “get used” to a spanking — it will always hurt as much each time — I can learn to hold still through the pain. A spanking that would make me hide under the bed a few years ago, is manageable now. It hurts just as much as before; well maybe not as much, but still hurts. The point is that I’m trained to hold still despite how much it hurts. That’s why maintenance spankings are useful for me.

Mrs. Lion has a goal in mind when it comes to maintenance (training) spankings. She wants me to learn to hold still through a long, painful, punishment-level spanking. During my maintenance spanking on Saturday, I started trying to wriggle away. When I did, she asked,

“Do you want me to start all over again?”

I got back into position. She’s figured it out!

It’s all about education. For example, repeated anal insertions with increasingly wider plugs and dildos doesn’t stretch the anus. It’s being trained to relax more and more. Fisting is a process  of “teaching” the bottom’s bottom to accept the top’s hand up to the wrist. Mrs. Lion has tried sporadically without success. There is no doubt she can teach me if she wants. It will take time and a lot of initial discomfort for me. Multiple sessions with wider and wider plugs and dildos prepare me for her entire hand.

Both top and bottom require training. As the bottom, my training is more uncomfortable than Mrs. Lion’s. But that’s the role I’ve chosen.