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In: Edging, Orgasm, Spanking

Well, it worked. Just as Lion said in his post this morning, if I whomp him he will come. Actually he said he’d get excited. I decided he should come.

I tried the new technique. No idea if it was actually any different from the old technique. I was already swatting harder at a certain point. The only difference I can see is that at that certain point I announced the punishment would begin. Of course, it wasn’t actually punishment. It was a maintenance spanking for practice.

Lion moved around a bit toward the end. I asked if he wanted me to start again. He did not. It just hurt and he needed me to stop. If this was a true punishment spanking I wouldn’t have stopped so quickly. I still swatted quite a few times before we were done but punishment would have gone on longer, if for no other reason than he needed me to stop.

Lo and behold, Mr. Weenie was on his way to full attention when Lion rolled over. I guess the butt bone is connected to the boner bone. I had some fun edging him. I was trying to remember if a ruined orgasm still allows for play the next day when I got greedy. I started edging him too quickly. Rather than give him the dreaded ruined orgasm, I salvaged it. He produced quite a bit of cum for me. We’re never sure how much I’ll get. The more the better.

Afterward I told Lion that if he insists on rolling over to get away from my swats, he opens up my weenie and balls for swats. Are they fair game? I don’t think he wants that. He just needs to learn to stay still and take his spanking. We’ll have to keep practicing.

By:
In: BDSM, Lion's Journal, Sex
Application of a paddle often jump starts my libido. Wearing a chastity device doesn’t hurt either. Click image to view larger.

Mrs. Lion and I are at a point where we realize there are things we should do. We’ve both written about some of them. But we haven’t taken action yet. This is a pattern we’ve followed before. I guess it’s sexual inertia. Getting started again is difficult.

One of the main reasons Mrs. Lion created her Box O’Fun was to force BDSM play. Her idea was to fill the box with activities; some fun for me, others decidedly painful. Then, on a scheduled basis, I draw a card from the box and that’s what happens next. It worked for a while. Then one of us would not like the idea and we’d skip it. Mrs. Lion isn’t the one who is inertia-bound. I am too. It just feels easier to do nothing. We snuggle and I don’t get aroused. I’m not feeling frustrated. I’m not feeling sexual at all. Sexual inertia. It’s true that my libido has its ups and downs. This is clearly a down.

Of course, there is a nearly foolproof way to jump start my libido. A paddle liberally applied to my bottom works wonders getting my attention. A chastity device, like my Jail Bird, doesn’t hurt the process either. It’s just the way I’m wired.

For reasons I can’t explain. Mrs. Lion is affected too. When we play (BDSM activities), we feel closer to each other. The top/bottom activities not only turn me on, they also increase our non-sexual physical intimacy. Neither of us is touchy-feely by nature. The physical manifestations of our power exchange spill over into affectionate touching. This could all be me. I know that regular, painful play is an aphrodisiac for me. It may also turn up my sensitivity and affection.

Of course, BDSM play is only a small part of our Female Led Relationship with Discipline (FLRD). Mrs. Lion’s authority has remained consistent. When I’m well behaved, there is no punishment. When we fall into inertia, there is no play. During these play droughts I am happy to skip yelping when Mrs. Lion plays with me. But, just like punishment, my mood isn’t really relevant.

Mrs. Lion reasons that the play is for me. Therefore, if I don’t want to play, then we shouldn’t. If I’m thinking correctly, the play isn’t just for my pleasure. It’s also a key to maintaining my libido. I don’t understand it, but there it is.

 

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments, Spanking

Lion is an insatiable researcher. He reads lots of other blogs. Occasionally he likes an idea he finds. Many times it’s about punishment, specifically spanking.

His latest discovery was about just that. He says I should whomp him for a while and then whomp him some more and then whomp him some more. I should go past the point where he can handle it. And then go even further. I thought I was doing that. Well, maybe not the third part.

It’s taken me a long time to get to the point that I can spank Lion as hard or as long as I do. The last time I punished Lion I had to keep switching arms because I got tired. I went past the point that he could take it. I went past the point that I could take it.

I think we’ll need to build up to the latest “best spanking practices”. If I do it right, Lion won’t have much to do. He’ll probably be able to take more and more because of his endorphins. I’m not saying it won’t hurt but Lion has a tough hide. My arms might fall off in the process unless we take it slow.

We’ll start the process tonight with a maintenance spanking. I’m sure we won’t get all the way but we’ll give it a shot

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Spanking

I was looking at Julie’s post, a random photo selection on her blog, Strict Julie Spanks. At the top of the post there’s  a picture of a man standing in a corner, hands above his head, with a very red butt (photo shopped — real butts never photograph that red).  Standing behind and to one side is a young woman holding a large paddle. I guess that counts as femdom porn. For those of us who get turned on by the idea of being spanked it is arousing.

I focused my attention on the woman with the paddle. She had, what looked to me as a mock-stern expression. It started me thinking about Mrs. Lion who has put me in a corner after reddening my bottom. I know she spanks me because I asked her to discipline me. When she punishes me is she imagining herself in a role? Has the concept of punishing her husband become a normal part of her experience as a wife?

When we began our FLRD (Female Led Relationship with Discipline), I know that she was punishing me because I asked for her to take on that job. Over the last three years or so, she has perfected her role. In a recent post, she commented that she was taken back by people in her family eating before she started. I’m required to wait for her to eat or get her permission before I can start a meal.

The fact that my rule has become a natural expectation she has even when not with me, suggests that she has internalized her role to some extent. I don’t want to label this one event as a signal she is now a different woman; a stern disciplinarian who takes that role seriously. It almost certainly isn’t. But I believe something’s happened.

Her role as disciplining wife has “soaked in” to some extent. I’m pretty sure it isn’t completely “natural” for her to pick up a paddle and spank me. I do believe she fully accepts correcting me as part of her life. Punishing me seems to still present challenges.

Spanking, currently her only form of punishment, is still somewhat uncertain. I get the feeling she hasn’t figured out how much and how long to spank me. What is the objective? This isn’t a simple question. The simplest, BDSM answer is to do it enough to satisfy me that I’ve been spanked. She does that now and then when she senses I’ve had enough, she goes on a little more.

I believe that extra swatting is a way to let me know she is punishing me. Fair enough. But is it enough? If I’m right about her technique, I’m still controlling the situation. To some extent every person being spanked is in some control.  I send signals that she interprets and acts upon. The fact she correctly understands when I feel that I’ve had enough is a great accomplishment.

That point may be a cue for her to say, “Now we start the real punishment.” Anything that happens after I signal that I’ve had enough is going to be interpreted by me as unwelcome pain that I don’t want to accept; in other words, punishment. It doesn’t come down to how red my bottom gets or how many bruises I have. It’s much more primal.  It’s me accepting spanking way past my comfort zone.

I’ve read some disciplining wives who divide the spanking into sections. The first part, the one I accept willingly, is 25%, preparing me to be punished. Then, the real punishment begins. The spanking is kept up without pause. It should make me yelp and scream. That’s 50%. The last 25% is hard and fast and keeps going until sincere apologies are forthcoming.

This formula produces a spanking that will always be a very good deterrent. More importantly, it is a formula that can be impartially followed. It doesn’t say anything about how hard or how red. Just, using my reactions to set the pace, but not call the shots.

There’s one other thing. Mrs. Lion expects me to thank her for spanking me. I usually need prodding to remember. Perhaps I should be required to remain in the spanking position when Mrs. Lion is done. Then, she can wait for my thanks. If it doesn’t come, she could resume her spanking until I remember. Letting me get up and out of the submissive position lets me lose my focus.

Of course, these are just suggestions. Mrs. Lion is perfectly capable of disciplining me as she sees fit. Blame it on Julie’s blog. It got me thinking, and you know what that means.