Friday night, Mrs. Lion decided to give me a maintenance spanking. She wrote about it yesterday. She wondered how to tell if she did a “good” job spanking me. She looked to me for feedback. I was in no mood to give her any.
What she doesn’t understand is that I hated that spanking. Since she’s made spanking more intense, I start unhappy and end up angry. That, in a perverse way, is a sign of her success.
It’s a bit complicated. I am unhappy about being spanked because I know how it will end. I still find the idea of being spanked hot. When she starts, it’s a turn on. That doesn’t last very long. It gradually gets too painful to feel aroused. I’m also aware that she’s not going to stop. I know what’s coming.
She’s reached the point that I get angry during the spanking. This is a normal phase in the spanking spectrum. It’s also a first for me.
I think she’s at the point when spanking isn’t so much a service for me, as it is something for her. She turned that corner when she decided to master spanking the way she masters her games. Of course, that means she has to develop a way to keep “score”. I’m not a reliable reporter of the quality of her punishments; at least not right after she beats me. At least, not in the way she has in the past.
”Was it a good spanking?” is not a productive question if asked too soon after she finishes. At that point, when she finishes, I don’t even want to think about being spanked again. My reaction is genuine. If she wants feedback, the question needs to come many hours later. Of course, she may not need feedback from me.
I think this is only difficult for maintenance spankings. The reasons for giving them don’t directly relate to an offense I’ve committed. It is a training opportunity for Mrs. Lion and a way to remind me how unpleasant punishment is to receive.
By those measures, Mrs. Lion is successful. She is becoming a much more effective spanker. She’s moved me into the anger phase. The next phase can’t be that far off (I hope). Ironically, the better she gets at this, the less I want another. A day or two after I’m spanked, the memory is hot. I do find the thought of being spanked arousing. I think I am also more sexually aroused for a time after a punishment.
As Mrs. Lion’s technique improves, my reactions change. I think it is a good sign. We are moving out of the BDSM-for-punishment stage into the new world of the disciplinary wife.