September 2018 (Page 5)

There are sex workers. They are people who earn money doing sexual things. It’s a broad category. It spans everything from whores to professional dominatrixes and everything in between. Professional tops usually don’t even engage in sex with their clients, but since BDSM is sex-related in a non-orgasmic way, it’s usually included. Porn actors have to be included. So do sex writers; you know, pornographers, romance novel writers, and others who make money turning you on. The common denominator is that sex workers make money by either satisfying or creating sexual arousal.

Sex consumers must then be people who pay for sexual services. They range from “Johns” to people (male and female) who pay to be spanked. They also include people who pay for porn, both soft and hard. The sex consumer spends money to get aroused or brought to orgasm one way or another. I suppose a sex consumer can also be someone who reads or watches free commercial porn.

There’s another big group of people that do what sex workers do without compensation. I’m not talking about people who have sex with each other. This category covers people who produce the same products as sex workers but do it without compensation.  I’m one of them. I’m a sex hobbyist. What differentiates me from a sex consumer or amateur is that my product is for public consumption. I don’t pick who reads what I write. It’s out there for any adult to enjoy. Mrs. Lion and I write about our power exchange and sex life. You can anonymously sit in our bedroom and watch all of our intimate moments. You don’t pay. You don’t even have to thank us. We provide a public service.

We sometimes publish photographs of ourselves, well me, exposing genitals, my spanked bottom, insertables in my rectum, etc. We’re not pornographers because we have no desire to make any money from what we do. Free, public sex. We’re not alone.

One of the more interesting benefits of the Internet is that anyone with an Internet connection can publish anything they want. Web surfers are offered a buffet of content on any imaginable topic. Within a few minutes of deciding to be a published author, model, or porn star, your work can be available to the world. Our kinky little corner fits into the general sex blog category. No one asked us to write. We have never been paid a cent for our writing. In fact, we pay a web hosting company for server access and bandwidth. That fits in the general context of a hobby.

I’m sometimes turned on knowing that people I’ve never met have seen me naked and know everything about my sex life. It’s a nice rush. I also like sharing my thoughts and feelings with you and Mrs. Lion. We always read each other’s posts. While you wouldn’t recognize me on the street, you know more about me than  you might know about  your closest friends.

How does that feel to you? Are you part of a ménage à trois with us? Do you sometimes get a bit of sexual arousal when you read our posts? If so, I’m glad. This sex hobbyist likes the idea that you might get an erection or a bit wet watching or lives. Sometimes, I get turned on imagining your reactions to something I write or show you.  I like it when you join us with comments and suggestions.

The real difference between a sex worker and a sex hobbyist is intention. A worker may love his or her job, but they are motivated by the desire to make money. A hobbyist, on the other hand, spends time and/or money to provide the sexual service.  At least that’s how I see it. There are good and bad reasons to provide the services. That has nothing to do with the fact that they relate to sex. Sex is neutral. It’s how you use it that determines whether it is constructive or destructive.

I hope you enjoy what we write and show you. We have a good time sharing with you. When it stops being fun, we’ll find another hobby.

This post was inspired by a very interesting piece written on sex work by Mrs. Fever on her blog “Temperature’s Rising“.

Ok, my lion milking idea is clearly flawed. (Read about it here) In her post yesterday, Mrs. Lion highlighted the flaw. I suggested that edging and giving me orgasms could be considered a sort of chore. My reasoning was fuzzy at best. In a testosterone-fueled haze I imagined her excellent efforts to sexually stimulate me as something she performed out of love for me and because it is part of our enforced chastity/FLRD agreements. I didn’t forget that the reason I get all this wonderful attention is the fact that she loves me.

Obviously, she doesn’t do all this for me because it is her job. Lion milking isn’t listed on her resume. As she pointed out,

“On a very basic level, hookers are paid to just give sex. Some men pay more for the “girlfriend” experience, which involves affection, or at least pseudo-affection.”

True enough. It never occurred to me that she would consider my idea a way to remove affection and love from sex. No, I never want to do that. My vision was definitely of the girlfriend/wife experience. I imagined the edging and other activities as an enjoyable task, not a job or unpleasant obligation.

After more thought and an amazing hand job last night, I realize that my depersonalization fantasy makes no sense at all. The idea of being “milked” is a hot fantasy, but not a very good reality. Every so often I propose turning a hot fantasy into reality. Fortunately, Mrs. Lion will often turn the fantasy into reality. Sometimes it works out, mostly it doesn’t. In this case my thought made no sense at all and she let me know.

I do think the idea is hot. It might make a fun scene, but nothing more. Imagine me on all fours being “milked” by Mrs. Lion. That is a hot image for me. But to expect this sort of depersonalized kind of sex on a regular basis just won’t work. I treasure the affection and love she shows me. That love comes through clearly each time she edges me or gives me an orgasm. I’m absolutely unwilling to give that up in favor of a fantasy.

We’ll relegate any lion “milking” sessions to play time. I am very happy with the loving touch of my wife and best friend.