So much of what Mrs. Lion and I do break taboos. Surrendering physical control of my penis, even going so far as to ask my partner to lock it up, breaks societal norms. It’s a fairly extreme form of sexual submission. It’s actually more extreme than letting my partner spank me if I displease her. Spousal spanking, while somewhat passe, has been an accepted part of marriage for a very long time. True, the spanker is usually the husband, but the idea of a domineering wife is the subject of many sitcoms and movies.
So, the activity isn’t wildly perverse. Some people may look down on a man who “allows” his wife to beat him, but they will most likely relate to the concept of physical punishment without much trouble. In fact, as several studies have shown, more than 70 percent of men have fantasies about being spanked.
Enforced chastity is a different story. From my experience, the vast majority of the BDSM community has never heard of it. Those who have find it very strange that a man would allow this, much less want it. Based on comments here, some men who practice enforced chastity by wearing cages, are offended that some of us do it without the cage. To them, male chastity is a hardware fetish. To me it is a behavioral change.
If you’re reading this, you probably accept the idea that a man can surrender power to his partner. You also accept the idea that some of us wear locking chastity devices that prevent any unilateral sexual arousal. You may not do it, but you understand.
When we started writing about our Female Led Relationship with Discipline (FLRD), we had some negative reaction from men who are very comfortable with sexual domination but who can’t relate to being spanked by their partners. We crossed a line. Over time, those people stopped reading our blog and our audience accepts our more general power exchange.
The taboo that has consistently brought the strongest reactions is male body hair. Fifteen years ago when I first lost my pubic hair, the idea of a male without hairy balls was considered effeminate. I didn’t consider myself that way. I just had a partner who wanted me bald. I grew to like it and kept it up.
Meanwhile society caught up with me. Hairless male pubes is an accepted norm. Porn almost always features hairless cocks and balls. It’s become such a part of my life that when I had kidney stone removal last year, I didn’t even think about the fact that I had no hair. It’s just no big deal to me. But it is to some of our readers.
Most recently, I asked Mrs. Lion to remove all of my body hair except for my arms. This produced the expected reaction, but to my surprise, not very much of it. In fact, it appears that many of our male readers routinely remove pubic hair. Apparently, I’m ahead of my times again in terms of taking the rest off.
I think that the nature of the reactions I get has changed. Years ago, any sort of male body grooming meant the person was gay. This is a typical high school reaction to sartorial or grooming differences. You’re different, you must be homosexual. That kind of backward thinking has diminished. Sure, there are still beer swilling nationalists who think that way. Most educated guys don’t think of sexual preference as a social stigma.
They do consider submission that way. While some guys, if they notice, might consider my hair removal as odd, they wouldn’t consider me a taboo-breaking, inferior male. But, if they knew my wife spanks me for punishment, they would look at me as an inferior being.
Physical taboos are losing their stigma. If I want hairless legs and chest, it’s my choice. But if I let my wife spank me if I don’t obey her, there’s something terribly wrong with me. Even submissive men who let their wives control their penises are surprised that Mrs. Lion has such broad power over me.
The social taboos have shifted. It’s ok to be a queer or to have pink hair and shave all over. But it’s not ok for a male to socially submit to his wife. He can let her spank him as part of a BDSM scene. But to be spanked for disobeying her in day-to-day life is taboo.
In the same way I let my pubic hair grow back before seeing a urologist years ago, we disguise Mrs. Lion’s power over me in the company of others. There’s no question that we’ve made progress accepting differences. In the process we’ve created new taboos. Do we always have to find ways to make others feel “different”?