Missing The Zing

I think we’ve fallen into a routine. I suppose it’s inevitable. We’re a very vanilla couple right  now. We’ve let our day-to-day activities bury our kink. It may be that the chastity device has an important use beyond preventing me from playing with myself. Its value may even transcend my bondage kink. Perhaps, it’s even worth the discomfort and inconvenience of wearing it to lock it on again.

Way back in the beginning, one of the main reasons I asked Mrs. Lion to lock me up was to force us to relate to sex on a frequent basis. I know, it’s ironic that I figured a device designed to prevent sex would have the opposite effect on our marriage. It’s not as crazy as it sounds. I figured that the agreement to frequently unlock me and sexually tease me without orgasm would force a new focus on sex.

It worked. In fact, it exceeded our wildest expectations. I’ve been conditioned to only coming when Mrs. Lion makes me. I haven’t masturbated since the day I was locked up. I don’t need to wear the cage to assure that I won’t play with myself. With only a few short periods of lockup, I’ve been wild for about a year. I’m well enough trained to make the cage unnecessary.

Mrs. Lion, for her part, is trained too. She has faithfully continued to tease me on a near-daily basis. We continue the same routine we established during my years of captivity. By any measure, our power exchange is continuing unabated.

Why am I concerned?

As I see it, our sexual activity is now just something we do. We both know why we do it. For the most part we enjoy it. We don’t look forward to it. We know that after we settle in for the night, Mrs. Lion will scooch over and cuddle with me. At some point she will play with my penis. Once I’m sufficiently aroused, she will sit up and masturbate me in earnest. About a third of the time, she will move between my legs and give me oral attention. Most of the time, she will stop before I can ejaculate, let me rest a little bit and do it again, and again. Sometimes she lets me finish.

A great routine, right? Oh yes! I love it; especially the oral part.

I’m very lucky. I don’t want that to change. However, there’s something missing that we had before. If you look back at Mrs. Lion’s posts from three or four years ago, you’ll see that she frequently writes of her plans for me. Sex was never just snuggle, play, jerk or suck; rinse and repeat. Something else was planned. Usually it was a painful activity  that I had to endure before the pens play.

It could be something up my ass, spanking, or cock and ball torture like clothespins on my cock and balls. Only after this foreplay would she masturbate me. More often than not, she would let me know in advance what I was in for. She informed me via email, or more often in her daily post. I would spend most of the day thinking about the evening’s entertainment.

Sometimes, Mrs. Lion would be too tired to torture me. She felt guilty knowing that I had been anticipating the play all day. That drove her to avoid predicting what was going to happen. Over time, less and less happened. She created the Box O’Fun which we were to use several times a week. It contained different things she would do to me. I was to pick a card from the box and Mrs. Lion would do what it said. The box stays locked away.

This isn’t an indictment of Mrs. Lion. She has good reasons not to be energetic in the evening. I too get comfortable with the snuggle and jerk pattern we have established. I look forward to it every day. But the zing is missing.

I love the games we have played. I like losing more than winning, I think. Spanking games, edging games, shocks, clothespins and things up my ass add zing. Even wearing the cage and anticipating being unlocked for frustrating torture and edging adds fuel to my furnace.

The cage is an inconvenience. It’s often uncomfortable and makes peeing difficult. Mrs. Lion has to dig out the key to unlock me. There are tons of reasons why our cage-free chastity is better. Maybe I’m wrong in connecting the device with our loss of zing. It’s possible that all we need to do is resolve to resume our activities to bring it back. Or, it could be we need the cage as a physical reminder that there is more to this than masturbating me.

I don’t want this to sound like Mrs. Lion is slacking off. It’s not her problem. It’s ours. I am more likely than not going to tell her I’m tired and not interested. Since the activity is for me, she sees no reason to go on if I’m not in the mood. That may be the problem.

Think about it. The cage is on me whether or not I am in the mood to wear it. When we played in times gone by, I got pegged, clothespinned, swatted and edge whether or not I said I wanted it. Maybe I have way too much control over what happens to me. Yes, I need to get hard in order to be masturbated. Mrs. Lion can get me hard one way or another at lest 90 percent of the time even if I say I’m not in the mood.

My big turn on is loss of control. The cage takes away positive sexual control. When I wear it, I can’t get hard or come. But it doesn’t prevent me from not wanting sex. I didn’t realize it until now. If I can veto play  or edging, then I have sexual control. It isn’t controlling when I have sexual stimulation. It’s controlling when I don’t.

Logically, why would I want to not want sex? There are lots of good reasons: I’m tired. I’m in a bad mood. I want to see a favorite TV s how. How are those reasons different from me wanting to ejaculate because I’m horny? I don’t think they are. In the case of wanting an orgasm, Mrs. Lion is perfectly comfortable telling me that it’s too bad, I’m not getting one. But if I say I’m not in the mood to play, she is happy to leave me alone.

I think that’s a problem. Sexually controlling me is as much about me being aroused when Mrs. Lion wants as it is about not being allowed to ejaculate until she decides to let me.  The zing for me is loss of control, not just having to have to wait to get off.

If I’ve learned anything from our years of this power exchange, it’s that I can’t predict how it will evolve. I think this is the best example of that to date.