She Actually Likes Spanking Me

Mrs. Lion surprised me again. On Thursday I forgot to remind her it was punishment day. I had no punishments coming, but I am required to remind her anyway. I forgot. Here’s our email conversation on Friday morning:

Me: I don’t know if I told you that yesterday was punishment day. I don’t remember.

Mrs. Lion:  You did not. And I was waiting and then forgot myself. I’ll have to bring up some paddles now that we don’t have company coming anymore.

Me: You seem happy about it.

Mrs. Lion: Well I was waiting to see if you’d remember last night and as it gets closer to 8:30 I find myself hoping you won’t remember because then I “win”. I guess it’s more correct that you lose than me winning.

Me: You like paddling me, don’t you?

Mrs. Lion: I think, like you, I like thinking about it but when it comes down to it, I don’t think I like it as much.

Me: Fair enough. I’m sure I like it less than you when you are doing it. You seem to be working up to longer and harder spankings.

Mrs. Lion: I’ve been trying. I’ll keep working on it.

I was a bit surprised by her comment about hoping I would forget and that she looks forward to spanking me. I don’t think she articulated this before. In prior conversations, she’s been ambivalent. Until yesterday, I didn’t connect the dots. When we travel, we keep our “camper paddle” (Photo above)  in a drawer. We have a hook for it across from the entrance to the camper. It’s the first thing anyone will see when they come in. We can’t leave it on the hook when we travel. It will bounce around too much.

As soon as we arrive at a campsite, hanging the paddle on its hook is one of the first things Mrs. Lion does. I’ve noticed that she consistently does this. I smile when I see it. Hanging the paddle by the door is a subtle-but-obvious declaration of our disciplinary relationship. Some might see it as a humorous expression of who’s the boss. Little do they know that the “HIS” end of the paddle is actually applied to my bottom.

It shows that spanking is something we think about in a positive way. A long time ago, I read a piece on the Web about disciplinary spanking of husbands. Most of what was in it was the standard fantasy stuff you find all over. There was one excellent insight. The writer claimed that the reason men will voluntarily allow themselves to be spanked is that the idea turns them on. They are aroused when told to assume the position. By the time they realize that they will really be hurt, it’s too late.

This is true of me. I get turned on thinking about being spanked. It’s hot to me to think about Mrs. Lion becoming more severe, even though I hate the beatings I get. Apparently, Mrs. Lion has the spanker’s version of this arousal. She looks forward to me earning a spanking. She likes the idea of spanking me. It’s that enjoyment that helps to motivate her to do it. Like me, once she realizes that she is punishing me and that I will be hurt, it isn’t as much fun. At least that’s true for now.

Based on my own experience as a top and discussions with other spankers, I believe her enjoyment will grow.  It’s not simple, sadistic pleasure at giving me pain. There’s a sense of accomplishment; doing a job well. When the spankings become severe enough to bring tears (not necessarily crying), there is the satisfaction of bringing me to a cathartic moment.  While not exactly fun, there is pleasure in the ability to get me there.

This isn’t necessarily a conscious process. Mrs. Lion has been working for years to build up the severity of her spankings. She still hasn’t brought me to tears. It’s not easy to wield that paddle that severely. I have no doubt that she will reach that point. For my part, once she makes it clear that she needs tears before she will consider stopping, I will require less beating to reach that point. That doesn’t mean she will stop when I do. To do that would encourage me to tear up to avoid more spanking. It does mean that the spanking will become more meaningful to me once I surrender and the tears flow.

From all accounts, once tears are reached, there is an attitude change. The punishment is accepted as deserved and the spankee’s attitude is more submissive. Since I haven’t experienced it myself, I can’t say how this affects the educational process the spanking supports. I imagine it makes the lesson better learned.

It’s odd that a serious process like punishment can be anticipated with pleasure. Maybe the positive feelings toward initiating it provide a way to make it easier to punish when no longer angry. Some behaviors that result in punishment anger Mrs. Lion. She refuses to punish when angry. That means she has to wait until she is over her negative feelings before beating me.

Without some motivation, she would be unlikely to perform such a distasteful task. If I’m not aroused at the thought of being spanked, I would be less likely to voluntarily submit to a beating that could bring me to tears. Fortunately, we both have mechanisms that help us follow through. When Mrs. Lion hangs that paddle in front of the camper door, she is enjoying the positive feelings that let her be an effective disciplining wife.

I have a rule that further reinforces Mrs. Lion’s role: I have to thank her for spanking me when she is done. Failure to do that earns me another spanking. I still tend to forget, but Mrs. Lion reminds me. I’m grateful she does. Thanking her is important. At the end of the beating, the good feelings that got her started have faded. I’m no longer aroused. My expression of gratitude is an excellent reminder to us both that we are doing the right thing for our marriage.

The more Mrs. Lion anticipates punishing me, the more likely that she will grow as my disciplining wife. The stricter she becomes, the more quickly I will learn to do as she wishes. We both want this. Fortunately, we each have the necessary, almost-unconscious motivation to continue.