In some respects, Mrs. Lion and I write about the wrong stuff. I tend to discuss how things should (or do) work in our FLRD and Mrs. Lion reports the “news”. Years ago I was the “expert” having had long experience with BDSM. But now, five years after we started, Mrs. Lion is far more qualified to talk about what works and what doesn’t. She’s also in the best position to discuss the future.
The area that she is way better able to discuss is discipline. We continue to go through a trial-and-error process of disciplinary evolution. I think that Mrs. Lion has evolved into a very different disciplinarian than she was a year ago. Its not that things are that different. I sense that she has more confidence in her role. That’s a huge step.
Most of the people who read our blog are men. We, by definition, are the subjects of discipline, not the disciplinarians. In a real sense, we are the last people to write and read on this subject. In the context of rule making and punishment, my job is to obey and accept, not review and suggest.
Part of me feels that if I don’t try to move the process along, we will stall. This makes very little sense. Despite all my bright ideas, Mrs. Lion firmly roots her punishments in spanking. She has resisted any sexual or behavioral methods to punish me. God knows, I’ve suggested a ton of them. She knows how she wants to proceed. Yet I persist in offering new ideas.
I’ve resolved to stop offering disciplinary input. Mrs. Lion has demonstrated her ability to let me know when I need to learn something. She fully understands how to spank me effectively. If she wants to add other punishments to her repertoire, she has no shortage of resources.
Having said that, I think I know what’s really behind all my bright ideas. I don’t think they are about ways to make me sorry for something I’ve done. Her paddles do that quite well, thank you. They’re about potential sensation play. That’s not to say that something I want to try as a BDSM bottom couldn’t be used to punish me. That’s up to Mrs. Lion. I just want to experience the things I suggest. That’s better done in the context of play.
Mrs. Lion is still reluctant to more fully exercise her authority. I think this is an area where I can be helpful. It may be useful for me to keep reminding her of areas she might want to expand into. I think that in our case, her primary motivation in being my disciplinary wife is my desire for her to take on that role. She remains a loving, easy-going woman who, on her own, wouldn’t think of enforcing her will.
We both feel that where she has taken up her role has improved our relationship. However, she still limits her authority to enforcing no food spilling or eating first. I slip now and then, but I think she will agree, I’ve mastered those requirements.
We’ve discussed the next logical step: correcting behavioral issues like interrupting or acting like a know-it-all. Mrs. Lion told me that she would correct me if I did either of those things. So far, she hasn’t. I’m reminding her that she said she wanted to do this. I’m not suggesting how she should punish me. Just saying that she should.
I do think it is my place to remind her of her decision. I realize that the likely result of this is pain and suffering for me. I’m not doing it as a way of promoting a fantasy. I know that we need to take the next steps to get the most value from our FLRD.