Month: November 2018

Yesterday I was trying to figure out how I’m going to get all the things done in two weekend days that I couldn’t get done in four weekend days. I decided that was too stressful to think about so we’ll just do what we can. Lion is still on the mend and I can plow through anything I really need to do. So far we have a trip to Costco and to Safeway planned. Anything beyond that, including waxing, is cake.

Lion bought some more soup fixings so I assume that’s on the list. I’ve been saying I’m going to make French onion soup and I haven’t done it yet. Maybe we can have a soup making bee, sort of like a quilting bee but with soup. Both soups give the house a yummy smell and are comfort food. I approve the expenditure of time and energy on them.

Last night I was pretty tired again. My CPAP sends me little messages saying I’m doing well, but I’m still tired. No idea what goes on in its little machine head. At any rate, we didn’t play although we did snuggle.

Tonight, I’d like to try some spanking. I threatened to whomp Lion’s butt for saying he’s broken but I didn’t follow through. Perhaps some swats will “fix” him. He may need to be played with to get over this orgasm stalling out issue. I’ll even try to give him some oral attention. I may be able to get my cough under control long enough.

I think it’s absolutely understandable that Lion would have some trouble after being sick. Part of the problem might even be that he isn’t moving around a lot. He’s been hunkered down in bed for over a week. That can’t be good for things that need blood flow. It’s true that forays out into the living world deplete energy but it gets things moving. Even being vertical as opposed to horizontal could help. We’ll see how the trip to Costco goes tomorrow. It might wipe him out too much to do anything more.

Every so often a blog appears that offers “advice” on sexually controlling a man. Invariably,the “facts” are incorrect. In the interest of helping couples who want to institute male sexual control, here are a few clarifications:

Sperm builds up in the testicles
The myth is that sperm accumulates in the balls. They are reputed to ache if allowed to get too full. Nonsense! I had a vasectomy well over 20 years ago. Given the “full balls” theory, mine should have exploded ages ago. The fact is that if a man doesn’t ejaculate, sperm and other semen components are absorbed back into the body.

Male hormones are depleted if a man ejaculates too often
Male hormones affect the interest in sex, but they exist in the body with our without ejaculation. One misinformed blogger claims that frequent ejaculation reduces critical hormones like testosterone and that results in unhappiness. Her/his theory is that infrequent ejaculation will make a man happier. Puleeeze!

A man can’t be truly happy unless his partner controls his orgasms
This is the base premise of most femdom fantasies. Some men, like me, are happier surrendering sexual control. My happiness has nothing to do with the bogus physiological crap you read on the Web. It’s all about how we are wired. I’m hormonally normal. I know because I’ve been tested. My testosterone was measured when I was jerking off daily and when I was lucky to get off once a week. No change. The tests weren’t to disprove the silly theories. My doctor was ruling out causes of another problem.

Make no mistake, guys can have sexual issues. I’ve been having one lately. Mrs. Lion is sure that my problem — the ability to get aroused but unable to go past a certain point — is the result of my recent cold. Could be. I sure hope so. Clearly it can’t be due to Mrs. Lion’s control over my ability to have sex. It may be hormone related, but if it is, there is no correlation with my ejaculatory frequency.

Male control “methods”
Along with the pseudo-science, there are frequently methods on how to initiate and maintain sexual control. I find it hard to believe a woman would want to pursue them. However, these methods are entertaining masturbation fantasies for the guys who read about them. Few, if any women read those blogs. Sadly, their partners will try to convince them to pursue these methods in their real-life sex. Recently, these methods refer to “retention” as a euphemism for orgasm denial. It does sound more “professional”.

What works
The simple fact is that real-life orgasm control is an honest game played by both partners. It isn’t a way for a woman to control her man. It’s a contract between the partners. Some people put it in writing. That’s a good idea. The rules of the game are simple:

  1. The male partner agrees to turn over all sexual control to his partner. He will not masturbate. Any stimulation of his penis will be by his partner or at her instruction. She can tell him to jerk off.
  2. Sex with her will be at her initiation and in the way she wants. He agrees to provide her with any sex she wishes without any expectation of sex for himself.

That’s it.

Mrs. Lion and I have other power exchanges that include discipline and enforced chastity. None of them are required for orgasm control.

Tell her about the simple, two steps
If you want to begin orgasm control in  your relationship, consider asking her to institute the two steps above. It’s easy to understand and works. Start with simple reality and then let your experience grow together.

 

I have to say, it really bugs me when Lion says he’s broken. I don’t think it normally does, but I just wrote in a post the other day that he’s not broken. Any recent issues are most likely because we’ve been sick and haven’t been doing anything. Then he turns around and says it last night. It’s annoying.

He was hard and on his way when he asked if I could try something different. I got the Magic Wand and things progressed again. Until they didn’t. And that’s what prompted the broken comment. I’m thinking of making a rule about using that phrase.

To be clear, I am sympathetic. I want him to be able to have orgasms. I want to be able to get him to the edge. I want him to want sex. I just think he puts too much pressure on himself and saying he’s broken only compounds it. Would he tell me he’s not able to finish because I’m not doing enough to help him? I doubt it. That would hurt my feelings. Then why does he say he’s broken? Doesn’t that hurt his feelings?

I’m going to keep trying to arouse him and get him to the edge until I hear from someone with a medical degree who declares Lion officially broken. In the meantime, any mention of his being broken will push me closer to punishing him for saying it. Maybe that’s what Lion needs. Perhaps a “gentle” reminder of what happens when he displeases me is in order even if it isn’t a rule yet. That might get the juices flowing again.

lion orgasm frequency chart

Lion’s orgasms by month for 2018.

Our practice of male chastity has made changes in both of us. The biggest change, I think, is that we are both consciously aware of my ejaculations. This appears to be true of many guys who practice this. We keep track of when we come and how many orgasms we have during any period of time. I’ve been tracking my orgasms since January 2016.

I started so that I would remember my performance over time. Mrs. Lion doesn’t keep track all the time. She’s usually aware of how long it’s been since my last ejaculation. Sometimes she asks me and I refer to the spreadsheet. I don’t think it is particularly useful to keep these statistics. I just want to know.

The reason, I think, is because male chastity focuses on my orgasms. Since they are never up to me, keeping track gives me a sort of control over the process. Let’s face it, this kind of sexual surrender focuses a guy’s attention on his cock. It’s not that we don’t think about them anyway, but being locked up and controlled by a partner makes our dicks even more interesting to us.

For example, how many couples spend any time discussing the state of the man’s penis? “Are you horny today, dear?” is a question most wives never ask. The point is that for most, sex is something that you do in the dark. Even if you are kinky, non-bedroom conversation doesn’t generally include penis talk.

I realize that there is wide variation in terms of how interested keyholders are in the mechanics of enforced male chastity. Some have no interest at all in the hardware. The man locks and unlocks himself. She keeps the key. Mrs. Lion is more involved. She locks and unlocks me. I, however, do the hardware shopping. She’s shown no interest in what chastity device I wear. She trusts my choices will do the job.

She’s involved in the process. She likes teasing me and owning every single orgasm I have. She also likes my semen. She considers the hardware as something I want. Her interest is that I keep my paws to myself. If she feels I might not be trusted, then she will get very interested in me wearing a chastity device.

How many wives are aware of how often their husbands ejaculate? How many guys keep track? Male chastity puts a focus on the penis that doesn’t exist without the practice. I wonder how many women even think about penises? I’m sure they think about sex, but not necessarily the penis in isolation. I wonder how many women can identify their partner’s penis in a “lineup”? I wonder how many guys can identify their own? Whatever the number, I’m sure that couples practicing male chastity will score higher.

After five years of this, it’s unlikely that our penis focus will change. It’s become something we share. I carry it around and Mrs. Lion owns it and controls it. I’m pretty sure that most other couples don’t think of it that way.

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