There’s quite a bit in common between enforced male chastity and modern prison management. I read an article about American supermax prisons. Aside from being unspeakably cruel, they use an odd variant on rewards for good behavior to control the inmates. When someone first goes in, he has no privileges: no TV, mail, reading material, etc. Over time, if he behaves well, he gets these back.
The theory is simple. Remove any vestage of comfort and then make the inmate slowly earn them back. The key is the ability to closely control everything in his life. Things you might take for granted become hard-to-earn rewards. This concept bears a striking resemblance to enforced male chastity.
In most cases, the foolish male (me, for example) asks his partner to lock him in a chastity device that prevents erection and ejaculation. She has the key and complete control over any sexual expression, from the slightest hint of an erection to an all-out orgasm. What starts as a sexual game can easily morph into serious control.
The mythology is that once his penis is locked up, he will become increasingly desperate for release. This desperation will turn him into a sexual slave to his keyholder. The analogy with a supermax inmate fits this scenario perfectly. Happily, in my opinion, the reality is very different.
Erections and orgasms are extremely pleasant. I love them. How much would I do to earn them? If getting off is the only motivation I have, my keyholder would have very little leverage. In reality, my life isn’t even slightly controlled by the need to ejaculate. Sure, given the opportunity, I will happily take it. But there are so many qualifications to that statement, getting off turns out to be pretty minor in terms of ruling my life.
Let’s say I’m a free-range male. There is no agreement to surrender sexual control to my lioness. I’m still restrained from freely expressing myself sexually. If a sexy, available woman crosses my path, I may want to mount her but I won’t. I’m faithful to my mate. There’s no chastity contract involved, just the much more solid contract of our marriage. In fact, as a free-range male living inside a monogamous relationship, my only extra-curricular sexual outlet is masturbation.
If I’m locked in a chastity device, I lose that outlet. I also lose the ability to get hard. Assuming I am monogamous, the only real privilege I’ve lost is the ability to jerk off. I don’t know about you, but I’m not willing to trade cleaning the house for a handjob. I’m being facetious. But you get the idea.
The reality of enforced chastity isn’t the lack of male sex, it’s increased opportunities to express it. Think about it. Before we began enforced male chastity, I got sexual attention from Mrs. Lion once or twice a month. Sure, I was able to jerk off. But I had almost no interactive sexual fun. Given that I had no interest in finding another female for sex, my sexual landscape was a desert.
At one point, the light bulb turned on in my head. I realized that if Mrs. Lion agreed to lock me in a chastity device, she would have to interact with me sexually more often. My concept of enforced male chastity was that I would be unlocked regularly and teased to the edge of orgasm and then locked up again. I reasoned that this would keep me interested in getting release and would add fun sexual tension to our relationship. Also, Mrs. Lion would be touching my penis more than a couple of times a month!
In my mind, at least, the point of enforced chastity was increased sexual activity. I knew that actual orgasms would be few and far between, but my lioness would be touching me sexually on an almost-daily basis. That felt like a win to me. The only thing I lost in that deal was the ability to jerk off. I was pretty tired of that anyway.
It turned out that my idea worked. We both have fun and a lot more physical intimacy. I learned that Mrs. Lion had no idea that I masturbated. I also found out that she hates the idea of me doing it. That surprises me, but I get it.
I was locked up 24/7 for years. At least five times a week Mrs. Lion would unlock my penis and tease me. Every week or so she would make me ejaculate. This continues to this day. It’s an almost-daily activity to edge me over and over. I get a lot of sex. I don’t necessarily get to ejaculate too often, but often enough.
I don’t masturbate. Even when I’m free range, I don’t do it. The last time I jerked off was five years ago while Mrs. Lion watched. Every orgasm since this has been produced with her hand or mouth. That’s the way it is. A chastity device isn’t necessary to enforce this. I’m conditioned not to jerk off. I don’t even think about doing it.
I started this post writing about how prisoners are conditioned to be docile and obedient. I admit that I did that to get your attention. Enforced male chastity has no resemblance to that. In fact, the opposite is the case. Enforced male chastity, it turns out, is an excellent way to focus the keyholder on the caged male’s penis. Managing his access to sexual expression requires the keyholder to devote considerable attention to controlling the use of his sex organ.
Most guys don’t ask their partners to lock them up as part of a Machiavellian scheme to get her to pay more attention to their cocks. We’re not that smart. I found the idea of enforced male chastity to be sexually exciting. It bothered me that the reality was supposedly less sex and I get aroused thinking of being locked up. Deep in my lizard brain I must have realized the truth: that locking up my cock requires my keyholder to pay attention to it. And that, after all, is what every male wants.