Every so often a blog appears that offers “advice” on sexually controlling a man. Invariably,the “facts” are incorrect. In the interest of helping couples who want to institute male sexual control, here are a few clarifications:
Sperm builds up in the testicles
The myth is that sperm accumulates in the balls. They are reputed to ache if allowed to get too full. Nonsense! I had a vasectomy well over 20 years ago. Given the “full balls” theory, mine should have exploded ages ago. The fact is that if a man doesn’t ejaculate, sperm and other semen components are absorbed back into the body.
Male hormones are depleted if a man ejaculates too often
Male hormones affect the interest in sex, but they exist in the body with our without ejaculation. One misinformed blogger claims that frequent ejaculation reduces critical hormones like testosterone and that results in unhappiness. Her/his theory is that infrequent ejaculation will make a man happier. Puleeeze!
A man can’t be truly happy unless his partner controls his orgasms
This is the base premise of most femdom fantasies. Some men, like me, are happier surrendering sexual control. My happiness has nothing to do with the bogus physiological crap you read on the Web. It’s all about how we are wired. I’m hormonally normal. I know because I’ve been tested. My testosterone was measured when I was jerking off daily and when I was lucky to get off once a week. No change. The tests weren’t to disprove the silly theories. My doctor was ruling out causes of another problem.
Make no mistake, guys can have sexual issues. I’ve been having one lately. Mrs. Lion is sure that my problem — the ability to get aroused but unable to go past a certain point — is the result of my recent cold. Could be. I sure hope so. Clearly it can’t be due to Mrs. Lion’s control over my ability to have sex. It may be hormone related, but if it is, there is no correlation with my ejaculatory frequency.
Male control “methods”
Along with the pseudo-science, there are frequently methods on how to initiate and maintain sexual control. I find it hard to believe a woman would want to pursue them. However, these methods are entertaining masturbation fantasies for the guys who read about them. Few, if any women read those blogs. Sadly, their partners will try to convince them to pursue these methods in their real-life sex. Recently, these methods refer to “retention” as a euphemism for orgasm denial. It does sound more “professional”.
The simple fact is that real-life orgasm control is an honest game played by both partners. It isn’t a way for a woman to control her man. It’s a contract between the partners. Some people put it in writing. That’s a good idea. The rules of the game are simple:
- The male partner agrees to turn over all sexual control to his partner. He will not masturbate. Any stimulation of his penis will be by his partner or at her instruction. She can tell him to jerk off.
- Sex with her will be at her initiation and in the way she wants. He agrees to provide her with any sex she wishes without any expectation of sex for himself.
Mrs. Lion and I have other power exchanges that include discipline and enforced chastity. None of them are required for orgasm control.
Tell her about the simple, two steps
If you want to begin orgasm control in your relationship, consider asking her to institute the two steps above. It’s easy to understand and works. Start with simple reality and then let your experience grow together.