We’re heading into the coldest time of the year here in the Pacific Northwest. December is historically our coldest month. Mrs. Lion put our heated hummingbird feeder out last night. We’ve been snuggling under the covers watching TV. I’m happy to say that we both feel a bit better. I took a sleeping pill last night and got some decent rest. Mrs. Lion’s cold is finally on the way out.
All isn’t roses yet. Our dog had a seizure last night. We have medication to get her out of it, but still it was yet another issue with someone we love. I hope this is the end of it for a while.
I would like to thank the people who left those wonderful, warm comments on Tuesday. They mean a lot to us both. We always like to hear from our readers. Writing can be an isolating exercise. Simply knowing that a lot of people read what we write is nice, but actually hearing from some is so much better.
Some bloggers, almost all women, end up having extensive email “relationships” with esubbies. These are men who share fantasies with a blogger. Many turn into two-way cyber sex. The people involved have a great masturbatory time. Occasionally, a blogger will reprint one of these interactive fantasies. Some can be quite hot to read.
To my knowledge, dominant women don’t engage in this sort of correspondence with submissive bloggers like me. I’m not complaining. I’m simply observing that there is a clear difference between how the sexes differ. For the record, Mrs. Lion doesn’t receive invitations to do online domination. I’m glad.
We may make ourselves inaccessible to our readers. I wonder about that. This came into my mind after she and I talked about broadening our experience. I’m a curious critter and poke my nose all over the Internet. Mrs. Lion doesn’t. It’s not that she’s incurious. She’s not motivated to expand her BDSM/dominant knowledge. At least, that’s how I see it. She’s not interested in sex, so nothing she reads or does turns her on. I suspect that if she could be aroused, her curiosity would be like mine.
Her motivation to be a better top comes from a desire to do more for me (not to me). Sex is a service she provides me. She’s aware I need it and I need the play. So, she provides it. This explains why there is little variety in what we do. She has no reason to look for more. She will dig around if she senses I am getting bored, but the sole motivation is me.
Just yesterday, in her post, she resolved to allow more vaginal penetration. I am very happy about that. I’ve only been inside her once since before January 2016 (when I started to keep track). Her offer is purely altruistic. Apparently, she derives no real pleasure from it.
I am grateful for her continuing desire to make me happy. I feel guilty as hell that she has to work so hard just because I need sex. I hate being someone’s job. I want to be a source of pleasure. Even though this has been going on for years, I just can’t get past the inherent selfishness in what we do.
The alternative is for me to stop wanting play and sex. Leave my needs in my underwear drawer along side my Jail Bird. It might be easier in the end. I could start writing erotic fiction and begin jerking off again. Or, maybe just try to let it all go. It’s just getting too hard the current way things are going.