Why?

Most blogs about enforced male chastity and female led relationships answer two main questions: How? and What? You can read endlessly about what is supposed to happen when a man’s penis is locked up. There are endless accounts of sexual submission brought on by male chastity or surrender to a female led relationship. Almost all of it is fiction. Real-life couples who practice this lead much less exciting lives. Our blog prides itself on accurately portraying our adventures in enforced chastity and FLR. None of what we write is fiction.

The other big question is: How? There are practical matters relating to selecting and fitting a male chastity device. Technique is required to apply physical discipline. Tools are needed to do this. Then there are sexual toys that many of us incorporate in our power exchanges. They run from butt plugs and dildos to bondage equipment and grooming supplies like waxing. As we incorporate these things in our relationship, we offer advice on how we use them.

There’s one area that gets little-to-no mention: why we do these things. Yes, the fiction and fantasies offer rationalizations that fit with their story lines, but I wouldn’t consider that stuff real reasons. I suppose it isn’t very important to understand why we do this stuff as long as we do it safely and consensually. If you are interested in starting a power exchange, having a good idea why you want it will go a long way toward helping you communicate you desire to your partner.

The first thing to understand is that wanting a sexual power exchange isn’t some sort of pathology. Study after study has shown that the vast majority of men and women fantasize about this stuff. Over 70% of men dream about being spanked, for example. Those of us who choose to act on it are, I guess, the brave ones.

In any case I’m not talking about rationalizing what we want. I’m trying to get close to the root so that it will be easier to communicate your needs.

In my case I’m turned on when my partner takes sexual control. This control extends to determining when or if I get to ejaculate as well as making and enforcing rules I must follow. That’s why I want her to control my penis and spank me when required. For whatever reason, it sexually fulfills me to live this way.

Granted, this is fairly vague and offers little specific direction to Mrs. Lion. But it’s enough to start her thinking and get  us going. I think t is easier for her to understand this statement than to sit through fantasies I may have about how it should work. That, after all, is the “what”.

Your reason may be totally different. I’ll bet it is equally easy to express when you cut away the “what”. Try writing down the basics and why you want them. For example, “I want you to take sexual control of me because it arouses me every time I think about it.” Talk about a good conversation starter!  Hopefully, her first question will be, “Why do you want this?”

If so, you’re on  your way.