(Click image to view larger)
Yesterday, was eventful. Mrs. Lion finally activated her spanking training. A little before noon she brought a paddle into the bedroom and had me lie flat on the bed. She then gave me sets of ten swats with a 30 second pause between each set. Initially, it was a challenge to hold still through a set. After about ten sets, it was no trouble at all. The swats felt less painful. Maybe my endorphins were catching up.
j(Click image to view larger)
This is useful information. When I appear to settle in, she can up the count and put the groups closer together, once again pushing me to the edge of rolling over. That’s the point of this “experiment”: to train me to take hard spanking without trying to escape.
We discussed the idea of starting the punishment from the beginning if I do try to roll over. That works if there is some notion of how long the punishment will go on. At least, that was my initial thought. Actually, I don’t need that information at all. Just being aware that the end is now at further away — by the amount I already received — is a sobering thought. This is true if that’s what Mrs. Lion tells me.
Her words are a critical part of this process. Just saying,
“We’re starting over again. That’s what happens when you move too much.”
is very powerful medicine. I don’t think she realizes how important her words are during a spanking.
We’ve been struggling with effective spankings. Since she doesn’t feel comfortable with me over her lap or with her straddling my back, I’m free to wriggle out of the way. Of course, this is a problem with all adult spankings. Over time, the spankee learns to hold still. I’m clearly a slow learner.
Mrs. Lion has tried using warm up swats. That helped to some extent, but not enough to let her send the strong message I need. She tried starting hard and hitting fast. That really didn’t work. The group of swats with a pause works. Adjusting the number of swats in a group and the length of the wait between them, allows her to keep me right on the edge of rolling away. If you combine that with the very real threat of starting again, you have an effective lion cruise control.
She can apply the restart rule to our NFL game as well. If I try to move away , she begins the scoring swats again. Poor me,
“is very powerful medicine. I don’t think she realizes how important her words are during a spanking.”
Lion, a gentle calling out? Might you have given Mrs. Lion full credit for knowing you and written “… is made more powerful because she knows how important her words are during a spanking”? Why the doubt? At whom is the doubt really directed? To you or to Mrs. Lion?
In this month’s series of posts, one gets the notion that Mrs. Lion is not having a lot of fun from administering the regimen you have agreed upon. Through many of your other posts, it appears that your motivation through all of this is surrender of control. That is what motivates you. The statement above is representative of a theme that runs through your (highly valued!) commentary. You know Mrs. Lion is reading these things, and it seems to me that you might be consciously or subconsciously using this journal to attempt to direct Mrs. Lion’s actions and physical and emotional responses. Have you really surrendered control?
Consider Mrs. Lion’s position. She clearly loves you dearly. She works to make your life HAPPY! Sometimes this is purely work for her; but, in her writings earlier in your timeline she projects JOY in what she was discovering and doing. Was it a task she set for herself? Yes. She loves you and wants to make you happy. Was she getting things purely for herself in addition to working to make you happy? It surely seems so. It’s right in her writings – in black and blue. (And, after awhile, yellow 😉
So, what is happening later in the timeline? From a spectator’s view, and I am informed ONLY by my perception of both of your writings, you (Lion) seem to be leaning to being more controlling of what you have pledged to surrender to Mrs. Lion. Lots of not-so-subtle hints about how Mrs. Lion might be doing a better job of making you happy “if only …” and then what might be described as defeatist writings like the one titled “My Apology, Maybe The End Of The Game.” Along with this kibitzing and general unhappiness about your perception of the state of things, I also sense a shrinking spirit for the game in Mrs. Lion. If this is so, perhaps the answer to the question “Why?” is not so hard to see.
Perhaps I am projecting. Perhaps not. I can tell you with all candor that my beloved bride and I have gone through much of this as well. When younger, we belonged to Threshold in LA and we were part of the inner circle of those who “partied hard” at official functions and then took it further at private gatherings. I was stupid and insensitive then, and worked hard at getting my wife, P, to do things the way that fit my fantasies. She started wide-eyed, innocent, and full of enthusiasm. Over time, my topping from the bottom wore her out and we fell out of the scene and out of play. She was annoyed and defeated, and I was depressed. There came a period of a DECADE and more where the toys and the fun, playful attitudes and activities literally and figuratively went into storage. It has been a miserable decade for both of us, trying in vain to find fulfillment in non-sexual activities that can only be found in the most intimate areas of a shared life.
Recently, after much soul searching and the help of a brilliant therapist, we have had a mutual renaissance of interest in activities that had in the distant past brought us both great joy. Sex has been white hot for both of us. The “key” has been my genuine surrender of control of the game to P. No kibbitzing and uniformly supporting, loving, and thankful feedback – when feedback is requested. P is becoming extraordinarily creative, confident, and assertive, and I can tell from biological and attitudinal signs that she is truly enjoying our activities at least as much as I am. There is kink in her that I never would have guessed. Through a combination of P’s ability to extrapolate from what she already knows about me and her own deliciously sick mind, she is doing for me and having me do for her things that stretch the bounds of imagination. Why? In short, P is supported and empowered. P holds the key and I am profoundly and demonstratively grateful for what flows from that. That’s it, end of story.
I hope your back surgery goes well (it surely will – it is routine) and that you and Mrs. Lion continue your journey in great happiness.
Jamie
Thanks for your thoughtful views.