Enforced male chastity is almost always initiated by the male. Let’s face it, women just don’t think about locking up a man’s penis. I know that there are many fantasies featuring chastity devices intended to prevent a man from masturbating or cheating with another woman. If a woman has a problem with her partner, especially a sexual one, she’s not going to look to penis bondage as a way to cure it. Wearing a chastity device, is a male kink.
Okay, fair enough. Any guy who’s been locked up for a while knows that the fantasy scenarios just don’t work in the real world. When we started, I told Mrs. Lion about my chastity fantasies. She gamely tried to accommodate me. But they really didn’t make much sense. Why would I have to be blackmailed into giving her oral attention by withholding sexual attention from me? Why would she expect me to help around the house because my penis is in a cage?
Well, that’s what the fantasy says. The bottom line is that there is no real benefit to the woman who locks up her man in a chastity device. We males are the real beneficiaries. We like experiencing sexual control. What about our partners? What effect does this have on them?
It’s true that most couples don’t have the same level of interest in sex. Over the course of a relationship they learn to compensate for these differences. When a chastity device enters the relationship, the wearer is asking his partner to withhold sexual release by keeping him locked up. What about her pleasure? I know, according to the fantasies he can provide her with unlimited oral attention. Chances are very good, that this form of release was available before he was locked up. So, what’s in this for her?
It isn’t more oral sex. At least, I hope it isn’t. It’s probably less sex. One way or another, her sex life is going to change. At the very least, she’s going to spend time thinking about her husband’s captivity. She’s probably going to get him locked and unlocked, teased and denied, and participate in lots of conversations about how he feels living in a chastity device.
Induced premature ejaculation
As far as sex goes, regular intercourse is difficult. Male orgasms occur without warning. I know in my case, I can feel really excited as Mrs. Lion stimulates me. Without any warning I am over the edge and ejaculating. She can see physical signs that let her know I’m on the edge. Very often she’ll know and I won’t. If we’re fucking, her attention will be elsewhere. She’s not going to be able to pull out before I am over the edge.
If I’ve been made to wait any length of time, and my principal form of release is being jerked off, I’m very likely to ejaculate almost immediately after going inside her. There are ways to delay ejaculation. One of the best that I know about, is the cowgirl position. This is when the woman straddles the man who is on his back.
This position is particularly good for most women. She can adjust so that she gets optimum clitoral stimulation and can control the entire process. This is Mrs. Lion’s favorite way to have intercourse with me. I find it very difficult to orgasm when in this position. I believe many men do as well. That doesn’t mean that male orgasm is impossible in the cowgirl position. It just means that stimulation for the man is reduced. Most guys are perfectly happy with this situation.
Nevertheless,it’s very likely that the male is going to ejaculate unexpectedly and much sooner than he did before enforced male chastity. Contrary to the fantasies, the chaste male is likely to become less satisfying as a lover.
Wait times don’t matter
Another big issue is timing. Many guys want to be made to wait for long periods of time between orgasms. This is the big selling point in the chastity fantasies. The woman is supposed to find this exciting. She’s supposed to be very happy getting endless oral attention while he gets more and more frustrated. Really?
I’m not saying that there aren’t some women who absolutely love the additional oral attention the caged male will provide. But based on my reading and personal experience, that’s not the case. Even forcing a wait of a week between ejaculations, will alter the tempo of the couple’s sex life.
Any shadow of spontaneity is eliminated by the chastity device. Conventional vaginal intercourse stops being the norm. In our case, Mrs. Lion teases me manually almost every day. My sexual experience is over 90% hand job. True, almost all of that activity does not result in ejaculation. However, it is sex and after over five years, it’s my norm.
Two thirds of my orgasms are manual. The remaining third are oral. Mrs. Lion has learned to bring me to the edge orally. However, she rarely does that. The net result of all this is that I’m conditioned to respond to manual stimulation. The timing between start and ejaculation is probably the same as it was for intercourse before enforced chastity. My response time to vaginal intercourse is much shorter. Some men, become premature ejaculators as a result of the chastity experience.
According to the fantasies, the man learns to prevent ejaculation without permission. A lot of guys try very hard to do this, but let’s face it biology is biology. Ejaculation is not really under voluntary control. Certainly, even with guys who were good at this, vaginal intercourse usually provides too great a challenge.
Where this is all leading is that enforced male chastity instead of improving the keyholder’s life, deprives her of desired sexual activity. He’s having fun with frustration and penis bondage. She longs for a nice fuck. Even if he can provide good intercourse. It may be a lot less frequent than she desires.
This is where some important conversations and compromises have to take place. For one thing, long wait times between ejaculations aggravate the problem. A more reasonable amount of time will minimize negative impacts. For example, waiting seven days will make most of us really horny. At the same time, if vaginal intercourse is desired, premature ejaculation is less likely after a week then it is after a month or more.
The key is to balance a satisfactory sex life for the keyholder with the exciting frustration the male feels when his penis is locked. It’s not fair to assume that frequent oral stimulation is a reasonable substitute for intercourse. For many women, it’s not. Regardless, enforced male chastity is about control, not sex. Too many guys become very sexually selfish when locked in a chastity device. All they think about is how they are affected by this abstinence.
There has to be a balance. After all, enforced male chastity is supposed to be about allowing the keyholder to maximize her pleasure. My suggestion, is to encourage your keyholder to not be concerned with your ejaculations. This decision, should not be based on maximizing the caged male’s fun with chastity. That’s really not what this is about.
Instead, he should be released when you, the keyholder, want to make use of his penis. That means that if he ejaculated yesterday and you want his penis inside you today, you should feel completely free to unlock him and ride him for your pleasure. If, on the other hand, you’re not feeling particularly sexual. You can leave him in his cage until you are. It’s that simple.
If he ends up in the cage more than a few days, it makes sense to provide him with maintenance edging. By bringing him to the edge of orgasm a few times and then locking him up again, you keep his libido active and ready for your pleasure.
Male orgasms are irrelevant
The entire point of enforced male chastity is to turn his penis into a tool for your pleasure. It’s not about seeing how long he can go without ejaculating. He may think it is, but it’s not. A lot of guys will be unhappy with this definition of enforced male chastity. That doesn’t matter. If he wants you to lock him up, then he has to play by your rules. The only possible reason to lock a penis in a cage is to assure that it will be exclusively available to the keyholder. The male surrenders any power to decide when he can ejaculate. So, if you want to ride him every day, unlock him and ride him. Lock him up when you’re done. If he ejaculates, so what. His job is to deliver pleasure to you. Whether or not he produces semen is completely beside the point.
Mrs. Lion keeps my chastity completely separate from anything else we do. In other words, orgasms are not rewards. Withholding them is not punishment. Spanking is punishment. Sex stands alone. In the case of enforced chastity, sex for the keyholder is the only requirement. That’s what this is really about.
In my case, Mrs. Lion isn’t interested in sex for herself. So my chastity experience is something she does for me. The only change is that an orgasm for her is never an issue. However, I only ejaculate when she wants me to. She doesn’t need a reason and I don’t get a vote. My penis belongs to her.
I think that most of us, guys that is, get into enforced chastity because we like the bondage aspect of it. That doesn’t mean our keyholders need to accept our definition. My penis belongs to Mrs. Lion and is her toy. If you ask a woman to lock you up, your penis becomes her property. If you try to control how she plays with it, she is completely within her rights to unlock you, and end your chastity experience.
To be completely clear, enforced chastity has nothing to do with ejaculation. My suggestion is that keyholders pay no attention to them. The only problem with a male ejaculating too soon is that he will lose his erection. Ejaculation is the male’s problem. Of course, we males focus on ejaculation because orgasm accompanies it. But other than being a small mess, it’s irrelevant to our keyholders. That’s not to say my keyholder shouldn’t care about whether or not I come. However, it’s a side issue not the focus of our chastity.
Like it or not, enforced chastity is not about hardware. It’s about control. Sexual ownership of your penis is what it’s all about. Too many women don’t realize this. They buy into the male fantasies. Once that lock clicks shut, fantasy time is over. If she’s horny, she’ll unlock you if she wants to use your penis. She may prefer your mouth in which case the lock stays on. When your penis is unlocked and stimulated as part of doing its job to please your keyholder, you may ejaculate. If you do, fine. If not, that’s fine too. Enforced male chastity is not about semen or male orgasms. It’s about transferring ownership of the penis to your keyholder.