I’m not sure if Lion considers what we did last night as closeness, but we accomplished quite a bit. We started out with the boring task of taking the garbage out, but then we went to dinner and ran a few errands. Lion organizes his daily medication in snack bags so he can grab them and go. He was out so we spent an hour or so making up the packets. There wasn’t actually any touching, but we were interacting more than we normally do.
It’s no surprise that Lion has been doing a lot of research on the surgery he’ll be having. There’s a better way to do it and he’s going to talk to the surgeon about it. An informed consumer is a pain in the ass to doctors. Lion is nothing if not a pain in the ass to doctors. In a good way. As a matter of fact, when he first went to his cardiologist, I remember the two of them bantering back and forth about different drugs and treatments. Lion was challenging him and he was pushing back. Finally, I said whenever they were done “measuring” maybe we could get down to the actual visit.
I do hear his concerns about the surgery. I know it’s scary. I’m not oblivious to the fact that things could go wrong. Uncharacteristically, I’m choosing to believe that things will be fine. Normally I’m the doom and gloom person in this partnership. I guess maybe I’m handling all of this well right now but a few days before the surgery, my stomach will be in knots. I’ve been on the waiting end of surgeries more times than I care to think about, between Lion and my parents. Sometimes I think it would be better to be on the receiving end of the surgery rather than the one in the waiting room.
By the time we got everything done we were tired and Lion’s legs were sore. We still didn’t really touch much. I think Lion’s concerns, as he said, are more about his being afraid. He needs to know I’m here for him. I’m not going anywhere. He’s stuck with me.