Lion Isn’t Crazy

If the forecasters are to be believed, we’ll have another 2-4 or possibly 5-8 inches of snow from this afternoon into tomorrow. Of course, that depends on where you live. Traffic cameras show the main roads are pretty good, but there are no traffic cameras on our road. There’s not much more than snow on our road. And it sounds like it will stay that way until May, at this rate.

Oh, poor us! Stuck in a house by ourselves. With nothing to do but lounge around. And let the dog out every five minutes. I still owe Lion some swats for spilling food on his shirt and some other transgression I’ve forgotten. I didn’t do it last night because we were both tired and Lion wasn’t feeling very well. Stupidly, it occurred to me about a half hour ago that I can give him his swats any time I want. Duh! He’s watching a movie, but when it’s over I want to see a Lion moon side up on the bed eagerly awaiting his punishment.

I’ll pass on the “eagerly” part. He may eagerly anticipate a spanking, but not right before it begins. Then he’s wondering why the hell he ever asked me to swat him in the first place. I don’t think he actually feels remorse for whatever he did to deserve it, but he does probably mentally make an appointment to have his head examined. And then the silly boy laments how much it hurts while I’m whomping him.

Hello? It’s supposed to hurt.

I know he wants me to enjoy spanking him, but mostly I just shake my head and wonder why he’s making me do this. “Making” in the same sense of a child making his parent spank him for misbehaving. No one is forcing me. No one is forcing Lion. I guess it’s the same head-shaking a teacher does when a student punches someone right in front of them. Did you really just do that? Don’t you realize I’ll have to punish you? Are you crazy?

Nope. Lion isn’t crazy. He does realize I’ll have to punish him. And he didn’t do it on purpose. In the case of spilling food, he can’t help it. Ironically, I’ve been spilling food more since he’s been punished for it. Luckily no one is watching me. In the case of interrupting, Lion certainly can help it. He’s been trying. He’ll sometimes get, “But what…” before he stops himself. He can be taught! I don’t count those as interruptions. He’s obviously trying to behave.

I’m pretty sure his movie is over right now. I’ll just take a stroll into the bedroom with my paddle….

What do you think?