Over the last six years, we’ve adopted many new practices. Our Female Led Relationship with Discipline (FLRD) is the most challenging of them. It forces both of us to get way out of our comfort zones.
In my case, I have to accept that I don’t have the answers. My communication style isn’t necessarily the best one with my sweet lioness. I can’t disregard her feedback since my bare bottom experiences substantial pain when I don’t do things correctly.
This is really important, at least for me. If Mrs. Lion simply corrected me when I interrupted her, for example, I could ignore her correction and never learn. On the other hand, if It hurts to sit down for interrupting her, I am acutely aware that there are consequences when I displease her.
It’s entirely too easy to disregard feedback from a spouse. I’m not claiming that every couple should use spanking to assure messages are received, but in our case it works. I’d like to claim that I knew this right from the start. I didn’t. I had no clue how things would evolve.
All I knew was that I liked being spanked. Mrs. Lion knew that too. So, she came up with rules that I was sure to break and would give her frequent opportunities to paddle my butt. Little did we know that I effectively changed my behavior and that after a while those rules were almost never broken.
Once I noticed this, I realized that Mrs. Lion and her paddle had the ability to significantly modify my behavior. I wondered if they could modify hers as well. She had no real problem enforcing behavioral rules that had no emotional value to her. Whether or not I spill food on my shirt isn’t something that gives her any deep concern. Essentially, she was indulging my love of spanking.
What would happen if she applied spanking to correcting things that actually matter to her? I posed this question quite a few times in person and here on the blog. I never got a really solid answer. However, she agreed to try. That started about six months ago. At that time she created two new rules: I would be punished if I interrupt her. She really hates that. And I would be punished if I acted like a know-it-all when I talked with her. She hates that even more than interrupting.
So far, she’s punished me a few times for interrupting. I guess that I get a spanking about half the time I interrupt her. I can’t think of one occasion when I was punished for being a know it all. Clearly, we are in sensitive territory. Speaking strictly for myself, I truly dislike being cited for interrupting or being too assertive. Ironically, I like the fact I get punished when I do.
I figure that if I interrupt Mrs. Lion, I probably interrupt other people as well. The same is true about being a know it all. I will be a much better communicator if I can change this behavior.
That’s the thing about the kind of behavior modification we’re doing. Even though it ostensibly serves to smooth out communication with my lioness, it also improves my ability to relate to people outside our relationship. She doesn’t have any quirky qualities that would make things that annoy her uniquely her own. Chances are very good that things she dislikes about my behavior are equally disliked by others.
When I look at things this way, I realize that stuff like enforced male chastity also ripples out to the larger world. I know you’re thinking I’m reaching now, but I’m not.
Consider: I gave up my ability to ejaculate whenever I want. I didn’t give it up in the sense that I wanted to wait so I will be hornier when my wife is ready. I gave it up by giving her total control over my sexual pleasure. That’s what happens when your penis is locked in a chastity device and you don’t have the key.
I admit it; I can be a spoiled brat. I like to get my own way. Mrs. Lion is just the opposite. She doesn’t expect to get her way and is perfectly willing to go along with what I want. That works well for marital harmony, but it isn’t particularly good for me. It’s not good for her either. Optimally, I am to learn that I can’t get my own way all the time and happily accept that fact. She learns that she’s entitled to get her way and is completely happy to assert that right.
Tell me that isn’t a perfect application of FLRD? Quite by accident, we’ve managed to convert my arousal at getting spanked into a tool that improves both of us. I’m completely accepting of Mrs. Lion’s decisions as to when I get to ejaculate. I don’t get grumpy because I’m horny. I know that eventually she’ll give me an orgasm.
I’m hoping that I will be equally sanguine about being corrected for interrupting and other behaviors that impede the flow of communication between us. I fully accept that corporal punishment is the best way for me to change my behavior. I’m not sure Mrs. Lion accepts that yet. Once she does, they’ll be no stopping her.
I can’t wait.
