It’s difficult for me to understand exactly why the idea of enforced male chastity caught my attention. I can’t remember exactly where I heard about it for the first time. Can you remember how you were introduced to the concept?
My initial reaction to the idea of losing access to my penis was pretty negative. I got a little tingle thinking about it, but the idea of not being able to ejaculate seemed like one of those things that was much better in fantasy than in fact. I was immediately interested in the hardware. When I first learned about it, almost all male chastity devices were belts. Almost all of the guys who wrote about it, did it to see how long it would take them to escape.
This could very well be the reason to this day guys worry about security. Recreational male chastity was always initiated by the man.originally, chastity devices were invented to prevent male masturbation. Unlike the myths about knights locking up their damsels while they were off at the Crusades, the reality is that in Victorian England it was believed that male masturbation led to insanity.
Asylums lock devices on their male patients as a way of protecting them from further degradation. Some parents also use devices on their male children to prevent them from descending into the darkness of insanity. This practice carried over into the United States as well. The US patent office has thousands of patents for male chastity devices. Most of them feature sharp spikes that penetrate the penis if it attempts erection. There is no record of widespread use of these devices.
Modern chastity, both male and female, dates back to the 1950s. There isn’t much information out there about those times. Much later, in the 90s, Internet chat rooms attracted like-minded chastity enthusiasts. I discovered one of these bulletin boards which featured stories and information about various chastity devices chastity “hobbyists” would make her by devices and then report on how they managed to escape. The penalty for failing to escape was the frustration of not being able to ejaculate.
Access Denied made full scale chastity belts. They were designed to be escape proof. As far as I know, they were. 75% of their customers were men and 25% were women. The women reported that they bought the belts for their own use as a way of protecting themselves from rape when they were out and about.
Like today, the men bought them as a way to experience sexual bondage. Some people wonder why women don’t also enjoy the idea of being locked away. I’m sure some might, but the reality is enclosing a vagina in a protective device is a prescription for infection and serious problems.
Anyway, somehow I discovered the idea of enforced male chastity. I was really turned on by the idea of a device locking up my penis so that I couldn’t touch it. It was a new way to be tied up. That to me was really hot. Now, many years later, it still is. Is this also the reason other guys like enforced male chastity? I suspect it’s always somewhere in the mix.
Based on what I’ve been able to learn, there are other, more complex reasons to be locked up. It appears that a lot of men who practice enforced male chastity, want to surrender more general power. They may imagine themselves trading ejaculation for other services. This, of course, is the basis of most chastity fantasies. You know, the poor soul is locked up in a chastity device and isn’t released to allow him to masturbate until his partner has (fill in the number here) orgasms.
Other fantasies show trading ejaculation for successfully performing housework and other menial chores. Frequently he has to wear women’s underwear as well. Underneath these fantasies is arousal at the idea of submitting sexually to a woman (or a man if you’re gay). It’s a very graphic form of submission and allegedly harnesses the strongest force in the universe: a man’s desire to ejaculate.
That’s the fantasy. To some extent a lot of us make that fantasy real. On the surface it’s a BDSM scene. In fact, most people who play with enforced male chastity treated as a scene. The lockups last the weekend and are part of a more elaborate BDSM situation. Those of us who practice it full-time, have to come to grips with the reality that trying to make a power exchange fantasy a lifestyle is pretty much impossible.
Guys who try, end up turning off their partners. It’s a lot of work to be a top. I’m lucky that Mrs. Lion and I have been able to put together a power exchange that works for both of us. She’s had full sexual control for more than five years now. I periodically come up with new twists and she gamely gives him a try. Most of them just don’t fit and she abandons them.
What never varies is the fact that she retains absolute control over when and if I get to ejaculate. She gives me a little bit of leeway about giving myself an erection when I’m not locked in a cage. But she’s made it clear that if I abuse that privilege, I will be in a cage forever. That’s pretty hot!
I think it’s very important that we think about what we’re doing and why we want to do it. It’s not fair to simply tell our partners to lock us up and then judge them on how well they satisfy our deep-seated fantasies. Enforced male chastity is a negotiated activity. It’s fully consensual and both partners have to agree how it will be practiced. Of course, this is not the way the fantasy goes. Too bad. As far as I can tell, the only way to be successful in all this is to communicate, communicate, and communicate more. At some point, perhaps, you may be surprised by what your keyholder does. Just don’t expect that.