One thing that confuses me about our relationship, be it within FLRD and chastity or not, is which answer Lion is looking for when he asks a question. Do I like spanking him? Is he looking for the 3.0 answer or the regular, real me answer? 3.0 would answer, “Hell yeah! Let me see some bruises!” Regular, real me might answer, “It’s ok.”
In the past, Lion said he wants to hear the 3.0 answer. But then he’ll say, “Really?” What do I do then? Is he looking for 3.0’s confirmation or real me’s real answer? I know (think) it depends on his mood at the time. If he’s in a “sexy” mood then he’s probably looking for 3.0’s answer. Unfortunately, I don’t have any real way of knowing which mood he’s in all the time.
I don’t normally spend a lot of time thinking about FLRD or chastity. I have so many other balls in the air, no pun intended. Despite the fact that I call it my weenie, it’s not attached to me so I don’t know how it’s doing. Is the cage pinching? Did Lion spray pee everywhere? Is Lion horny today? Is he not feeling well so any pending activities will have to be delayed? The answers may not seem to matter much to 3.0, but I’m not going to whomp Lion’s butt if he’s not feeling well. I’m not talking about not being in the mood for punishment. That matters less than if he’s not feeling well.
I guess I don’t really go in for all the fantasies of FLRD and chastity. Lion isn’t going to be holding my pipe and slippers when I walk through the door at night. The house won’t be spotless with the children all tucked in bed so I can sit down and read my paper in peace while sipping scotch. He won’t always be ready for edging or to take his punishment. That’s just life. Stuff happens. Sometimes he hasn’t slept well. Sometimes he’s just in a down mood. Sometimes it’s me who isn’t ready for edging or punishment. Doling it out, of course, not receiving.
But fantasy or not, I need to know what Lion is looking for when he asks for the answer to the question, “Do you like X?”