We didn’t write posts yesterday. I had an 8 AM appointment with my ophthalmologist and Mrs. Lion needed to drive me to it. I also had another medical appointment later in the day. We were both exhausted after getting up at 5 AM driving to the hospital. At my appointment the doctor determined that I will need surgery on one eye. I’m presently scheduled for that surgery next Monday. It’s not a big operation and recovery should be pretty quick.
Needless to say, sex hasn’t been on my mind. All these health-related issues are exhausting. They’ve also put financial pressure on us since Mrs. Lion has had to miss a lot of work. I’m lucky; my job includes paid sick leave. Hopefully, we are getting close to the end of this process. I may need to extend my leave by a week or so but there is light at the end of the tunnel.
It feels to me that the usual bloggers have been writing less frequently lately. I suppose it’s natural to kind of run out a wind after a while. I do miss reading about their lives. Of course, new bloggers have come in sharing their thoughts. So far, none have captured my imagination. Most seem to be regurgitating the same old chastity fantasies I’ve been hearing for decades.
It’s too bad. Mrs. Lion and I have grown immensely over the years thanks to our practice of enforced male chastity. What we do is probably not like what anyone else does, so what?
We received an email that brings up a typical issue when many people start out with enforced male chastity:
“My husband has brought chastity into our lives 4-5 times. It makes him more focussed in his ability to get things done, and more focussed on me (actually noticing me and doing nice things for/to me). However, he wants me to administer punishments when he is’bad'(eg. Bad attitude, look at porn, etc). I hate this. It just makes me feel like his mother, another responsibilty to add to my list. I already have one toddler, I don’t need another one. I want a partner/husband/best friend, and not another responsibility. I feel like, ‘grow up, be an adult and be responsible for yourself’. I seem to be able to change or regulate my behavior own without punishments, why the hell can’t he? I have never seen any blog, etc deal with this aspect of chastity. I would appreciate some thoughts from both of you.”
I find that understanding enforced male chastity is a little bit like learning how to forecast the weather. In the beginning, people observed the weather, and then invented myth to explain what was happening. There was a certain amount of accuracy in forecasts based on these observations. However, they weren’t reliable and couldn’t really look out far into the future.
The same is true with kinks like ours. You can observe guys who talk about being locked in a chastity device and you can invent explanations as to why they behave the way they do. You can also invent explanations for why a couple would adopt such a practice. The most obvious reason would be that the man could feel submissive and his partner would get all kinds of sexual and domestic benefits out of his penis imprisonment.
An awful lot of people start out on their chastity adventures expecting this set of scenarios to work in their lives. It’s almost never successful. The reason is very simple. All these myths are based on fantasies surrounding little bits of reality. It’s like observing a thunderstorm and explaining it as a deity being angry and banging celestial drums.
Only when global activities of wind, tides, and thousands of other meteorological events are considered together can weather forecasting be truly accurate. Similarly, only when we look at our own motives for any sort of sexual practice can we begin to understand how to turn it into something that will benefit a relationship.
Whether or not I wear a chastity device has absolutely no impact on the power exchange that Mrs. Lion and I share. Yes, it’s sexual. And yes, the chastity device does lend physical restraint to the control she has. But in reality, I asked for this control and I’m an adult. That means that as a mature person I’m not going to take advantage of the fact that my penis is not behind bars. Mrs. Lion knows this.
She knows that I like wearing the chastity device. I like the feeling of bondage. I like knowing that I can’t escape (yes, I know I really can) and she is the only one who can release me and give me sexual relief.
None of this requires me to give her extra sexual attention. I don’t have to do the dishes, iron the clothes, or vacuum the rugs. What we have is a sexual control power exchange.
I just hope that if you’re considering enforced male chastity either as a caged mail for his keyholder, that you realize this is the total extent of what you’re doing. If he suggests, or more likely, you read in some silly blog, that all sorts of other things have to happen, you’ll remember my words.
I’m not claiming that you can’t add in all this other stuff. Absolutely, you can! You just don’t have to. I suggest starting simple and ignoring all the more complex advice find around the web. After you do the simple stuff for a while, you may want to add extras. But it’s usually way better if you just start out with penis control and save the social engineering for later.