Sexually, we are nearly back to normal. Sunday night, Mrs. Lion edged me again. This time, she pushed me a little closer to ejaculation. I asked her if she was gradually moving me closer and closer to a ruined orgasm. I don’t think she intends to give me one, but the ultimate frustration occurs when I’m just one or two strokes away from bliss.
Of course, one or two strokes from ejaculation is also one or two strokes from that ruined orgasm. Ever since we agreed ruined orgasms are okay with me, she’s been much more daring.
The fact that she can adjust just how excited she gets me without any concern that I will take things into my own hand is a powerful symbol of my acceptance of her control.
Mrs. Lion isn’t inclined to use her sexual control as a way of making me do other things; you know, housework, doggy tricks, etc. Sexual control exists pretty much in isolation for us. That makes it a little harder to understand what, if any changes this permanent power exchange makes in our lives.
Her control isn’t extreme. She doesn’t make me wait weeks to ejaculate. But she always expresses her power by bringing me to the edge of orgasm every time, even when she intends to eventually let me ejaculate. On a very primal level I accept that my sexual satisfaction is completely in her hands.
In some respects this feels like a sexy game. I suppose it is. It’s a game that’s now in its sixth year. Not one ejaculation has been at my own hands. Not one occurred unless Mrs. Lion wanted to give it to me. I am 100% under her sexual control.
This is so ingrained now that I don’t think about it very often. I just make myself available any time she wants. Sure, I still hope for that chance to come, but I never expect it. I don’t know how Mrs. Lion thinks about this. I wonder if she recognizes how powerful her control is for me. I wonder if she enjoys it. I certainly do.
The fact that this is fun for me and I look forward to each contact regardless of outcome, is what I think gives this power exchange its force. I can’t wait to feel her hand on my penis. I look forward to each time she teases me. It feels good. I’ll happily follow her around like a puppy dog if it means she’ll play with me.
I don’t know about anyone else, but I don’t focus on how long or frustrating it is to wait for my next ejaculation. I focus on how exciting it is each time I feel her finger under the head of my penis. When she slowly moves her hand down my tummy and over the back of my penis it’s all I can do to not ask her to pick it up and rub that magic spot. I don’t of course. She wouldn’t like that.
It’s interesting that most of what I read about enforced male chastity discusses intense frustration and desire to ejaculate. I can honestly say that isn’t how I feel. I’m conditioned to crave her hand (or other toy) on that magic spot. When she masturbates me, her hand stimulates it very nicely. I’m addicted to her touch.
If you think about it, this is a very different male sexual motivation. Before we began enforced male chastity, I wanted to come. My focus was on ejaculating one way or another. Sure, I had my favorites — oral sex, for example is still on the top of my list — but I really don’t think about actually having that orgasm. I’m much more focused on feeling that stimulation that makes me hard and straining to come.
I’m not saying that I don’t care whether or not I get to ejaculate. Of course I do. I don’t expect to and I’m completely happy if I don’t. I just want to feel that almost-electric thrill I get when she plays with that special spot. When I wrote about her left hand, I was alluding to my fixation on feeling it stimulate me.
I think that for a long time I misunderstood one of the principal realities of enforced male chastity. In the beginning, I thought it was about withholding ejaculation. More recently, I thought it was all about sex. I suppose that is still true, it is about sex. But I think the main point is that it’s about using sex to establish a climate of obedience.
Just because Mrs. Lion doesn’t take advantage of my conditioning, doesn’t mean that I haven’t been conditioned. I realize that my desire for sexual contact drives me to want to please her. I don’t mean this in the sappy way that the chastity fantasies talk about it. I don’t have an uncontrollable desire to iron clothes. I’m not a housecleaning addict. But I am absolutely addicted to her touch.
It’s up to her if she wants to make use of this addiction. She certainly can require me to do things to earn her touch. She chooses not to; at least so far. That doesn’t change the fact that I dream about her playing with my penis and making me rock hard. I don’t dream about ejaculating. I dream about how good it feels as she brings me closer and closer to the edge. Truth be told, I would do anything she wants to earn that sensation.
I think the majority of couples who practice enforced male chastity aren’t going for sexually-induced slavery. I suspect that the women agreed to become keyholders because they want to please their partners. I don’t think that makes a bit of difference. If both partners faithfully play their roles, he will be conditioned the same way I am. It’s classical behavioral psychology.
While most of us think about behavioral control in terms of punishment for breaking rules, the most powerful control comes from providing pleasure for good behavior. BF Skinner did a lot of work on this in the middle of the 20th century. Mrs. Lion’s control of my orgasms and arousal is a powerful motivator for me to please her. It doesn’t really matter if she ever makes use of her control. She has it anyway.
If you practice enforced male chastity have you realized the changes in you this control has made? Have you ever discussed it with your partner? This post is my way of opening that conversation in our house. I have no idea what effect it will have on what we do. I suspect nothing will change.
If the tables were turned, my curiosity would drive me to test this assumption. I wonder if Mrs. Lion is similarly motivated. If she is, I’m sure she won’t tell me. She’ll just quietly go about her business and smile when she’s proven her point.