Monday was my sixth day since I last ejaculated. Once again, Mrs. Lion tried hard to edge me. Again, she could only get so far before the sensation stopped building. I was very disappointed.
This time, I asked her to try the Magic Wand. She did with the same disappointing result. I’m concerned that the problem is related to my surgery. According to the doctors, it takes anywhere from 4 to 8 weeks for my spinal column to stabilize after the disruption caused by the operation. I’m concerned that my sexual performance is a casualty. My understanding is that these disruptions are generally temporary. Mrs. Lion has agreed to keep trying.
In my mind, at least, I’m not thinking of this in terms of loss of ability to have an orgasm. When she finally starts having success, I hope that Mrs. Lion won’t go all the way to orgasm just because it’s now possible. I’m still convinced that several days of very hard edging would be helpful to us both. In my mind it’s worth the risk that my ability to get there will disappear again.
As long as she can make me hard at will, I find a lot of value in the attention. I love to feel her control. Her ability to make me hard and then want desperately to ejaculate is one of the most powerful expressions of that control. This is especially true when she just randomly starts playing with my penis without any prelude.
I think it’s even more powerful when she does this, than it is when I’m locked in a chastity device. It’s just so primal. I don’t want to ascribe too much significance to these overt sexual acts. But I do feel them on a deep level.
Right now, I’m worried. I should be at the point that I am desperate to ejaculate. Instead, I’m interested in being stimulated, but I’m not particularly concerned about actually having an orgasm. This isn’t like me.
The cause can be physical, as I mentioned earlier, or it can be emotional. My focus has been on how I feel post-surgery. I haven’t been thinking sexy thoughts. I can’t seem to conjure up scenes that turn me on. Since I have a very active imagination, this is a most unusual situation.
I think I need sexual jumper cables. On Tuesday night Mrs. Lion covered my balls with clothespins. To my surprise, I barely felt them. They were fun, but really didn’t get my motor running. That’s what got me thinking that the problem could be neurological. It could also be that I’m overthinking.
In any case, I need some sort of sexual inoculation to get me started again. Too bad there isn’t a sexual equivalent to the AAA. You know, call a number and someone will provide a jump start. I sure need one.
Patience, not worry.
All is well now.