Reflections On Our Kinky Lifestyle

This Sunday, April 21, 2019, Mrs. Lion and I will be appearing on the “All the Sex” podcast. You can listen live from 4 to 6 PM EST. It will be available on demand after the broadcast. You can get more information at their website (click here).

We’ll be talking about enforced male chastity and our female led relationship with discipline (FLRD). This is our first broadcast since we were interviewed on the Huffington Post’s sex podcast a few years ago. It should be a lot of fun. Mark and Rebecca have been hosting this podcast for quite some time. Our appearance is a bit of a departure for them. Most of their guests talk about products. In fact, I discovered the podcast when I visited the Mature Metal website which had a link to an appearance by William, who makes their devices.

I contacted Mark and Rebecca because William’s interview was about how he got into the business of making chastity devices. There wasn’t any discussion about how these devices are used. I thought it might be a good idea to talk about more than the hardware.

It’s true that the hardware is fascinating. Like most of the people who make chastity devices and other sex toys, William’s interest was in building a business, not so much pursuing a lifestyle. That’s not to say people who make chastity devices don’t use them. Many do. But their focus outside of the bedroom is on selling hardware, not talking about how it’s used.

This makes a lot of sense. A good business person wants to represent what they make in a way that allows customers to decide on their own how they will use the product. Any attempt to suggest how to use the product might turn off people that had something else in mind.

Any sex toy, yes I’m including chastity hardware in that category, represents the smallest part of the story it’s used to facilitate. A chastity device provides a way to physically isolate the penis. An effective one keeps hands and other things away from the sexual area. This doesn’t imply how the people who own it will use it.

A lot of folks will lock up the penis for a weekend as part of sex play. Others, like us, make it a full-time piece of mail hardware. We wear our chastity devices constantly. They come off only when our keyholders decide they want access.

After years of full-time wear, I don’t feel right without something locked on my penis. That’s why I asked Mrs. Lion to put a locking cock ring on me until she feels I am physically well enough to wear my chastity device. I like feeling the weight of a device locked on me.

It’s true that the cock ring allows me access to the penis. I can get hard without any problem. I’ve published a picture of my erect penis inside the ring (click here to see it).

I’ve noticed that a great deal of the writing people do about enforced chastity and other power exchanges takes place when they first start out. That’s understandable. After all, when we first start something new we are excited and want to share our discovery with the world. The problem is that enthusiasm without experience and knowledge often goes off in bizarre directions. These novice writers love to use the word “should”. Somehow they believe they need to be prescriptive about their newly found hobby.

We have evolved considerably since we started. It may seem odd at first, but something that seems simple like locking a chastity device on a willing penis, is actually emotionally and sexually complex. I think that anything that involves long term changes in something as fundamental as sexual activity will turn out to have significant side effects.

For example, for a long time I felt neglected if Mrs. Lion didn’t pay a lot of attention to my imprisoned penis. It wasn’t that I felt I needed an orgasm. I felt isolated. It seemed that my penis was locked away and no one could give it any sexual attention. Like most guys, I always masturbated. It wasn’t a daily thing, but two or three times a week I got myself off. I had no idea how important that was to me.

When I was locked up, aside from the physical reality that I had no way to play with myself, Mrs. Lion also forbade me to masturbate ever again. I had to agree to this new rule. Over time, she reinforced its importance to her. I came to understand that in her mind it was very close to me cheating with another woman. She expects that any time I ejaculate she will be the cause.

Since my penis was inaccessible to me, I couldn’t masturbate rule or no rule. I was only allowed to be wild under her direct supervision. Even with her watching I was not allowed to sexually touch myself. This rule stays in force to this day. For example, when we play with the Fleshlight, only she can hold it and move it. She considers it masturbation if I move it over my penis.

After years of continuous lockup, I’m in no danger of jerking off. It doesn’t matter that I’m in a device that gives me full access to the penis. I’m trained not to masturbate.

Over time both of us have adapted to the changes we decided to make. Some of the things that turned me on, like not having body hair, aren’t very important to my lioness. Nevertheless, she keeps me hairless religiously. It’s very unlikely I will ever be furry again.

Stuff like this starts out as interesting things we decide to try. Over time, they become incorporated in our relationship and our lives. We get comfort from the very things that we once considered exotic.

Sometimes, we don’t even notice. Since I’ve been wild (nothing locked on my penis) due to the surgery I had in March, some of the physical intimacy we’ve come to love disappeared. It isn’t that we aren’t as attracted to each other when my penis is bare. It’s that the hardware and the rituals around removing it and returning it have become habits and signals to begin intimate activity.

That’s why the locking cock ring works almost as well for us as my Jail Bird chastity device. Even though she never cared either way, Mrs. Lion notices when hair starts growing back. Hairlessness is as much a permanent part of my life as is a locking device around my penis.

That doesn’t mean that I think all guys who practice enforced male chastity need to lose body hair. Though, I do recommend losing pubic hair to avoid painful pulls and tangles with the chastity device.

Our experience has taught us that it isn’t so much what we do as it is that we do it consistently and with love. Obviously, if any of this stuff didn’t appeal to both of us on some level, we would have never kept it up. The fact that we do means that we get real value out of these kinky activities. If you are new to all this, I hope you find things that become meaningful to you too.

What do you think?